Random Ramblings

Men and Their Trucks

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I don’t know why but lately I’ve been thinking about trucks. Maybe it’s because I’ve heard so many songs that contain references to them or the fact that I live in Texas. Who knows. Part of my ruminating included the revelation that a truck is the twenty-first century cowboy’s horse. Nowadays we only see folks who work ranches riding a horse to check the far pasture fence or find a stray cow in Hallmark movies. In real life while some ranchers ride horses to cut cattle, most drive their truck, ATV, or a four-wheeler around their place, . (Please correct me if I’m wrong those of you that have working ranches or farms.)

My oldest son on the day he got his Big Blue Truck.

My oldest son bought a truck when he was in college. A couple years ago he hydroplaned in the rain during his long work commute. Thankfully, he wasn’t hurt, but his truck was totaled. As it seems is always the case, he couldn’t afford another truck with the insurance money. (His truck was paid for.) Instead, he bought a small sedan. It’s never sat right with him driving that car, despite having a truck again, he still misses that first one. His truck, merely having one, was tied to who he was—a born and bred Texan.

With that on my mind, I started looking at country songs with truck in the title. Here are some of my favorites.

  • Getting Married to My Pick Up Truck by Rodney Carrington—the comparison between his truck’s loyalty and a woman’s is hilarious. Click here to listen.
  • Truck Yeah by Time McGraw—is just plain fun. Click here to listen.
  • My Truck by Gretchen Wilson—is one of the few truck titled songs sung by a woman. Click here to listen.
  • My Ol’ Bronco by Luke Bryan—while while the word truck isn’t in the title, a Bronco is a specific truck so I’m counting it. The line “I ain’t never gonna let her go” sums it all up. Click here to listen.
  • Boy Gets a Truck by Keith Urban—these lyrics are a wonderful love story, “Boy gets a truck. Truck gets a girl. Girl gets a midnight feeling he’s the one, one night turns to love. Love turns into one knee down, down payment on a three-bedroom house filled with the sound of little feet. Then you blink and he’s asking for the keys to pick her up. Boy gets a truck.” Wow. I wish I’d written that. Click here to listen. 
  • That Ain’t My Truck by Rhett Akins—I feel the pain and anguish the singer feels from the moment he starts singing about driving past the house of the woman he loves and sees another man’s truck at her house. Click here to listen.
  • Look at My Truck by Chase Rice—Yup, a man’s truck says a lot about him. “If ya want to get to get to know me it ain’t that hard. It’s sitting on some Goodyears there in the yard. Got some dents, got some dings, been my best friend since I was 16, baptized in dirty water, handed down to me from my father. If ya wanna know, wanna know what I’m made of just look at my truck.” More words I wish I’d written. Click here to listen. 
  • Pick Up Man by Joe Diffie—I included this one, too because a pickup is a specific kind of truck. I love the lines about the singer getting his first pick up when he was three, driving 100,000 miles on his knees, and how he moved a Barbie doll bed for the girl next door. And the lines, “there’s something about a pick up man” and “if it weren’t for trucks, we wouldn’t have tailgates” are priceless. Click here to listen.
  • We Rode In Trucks by Luke Bryan—sums up how a man’s life and his truck are intertwined. Click here to listen.
  • Mud On the Tires by Brad Paisley—again, this one doesn’t have the word truck in the title, but the tires are ones on his new Chevrolet truck but adding that to the title isn’t as catchy. ? This is one of my favorites. Brad Paisley paints a picture of him and his girl spending time with each other and getting “a little mud on the tires.”
  • I Drive Your Truck by Lee Brice written by Connie Harrington, Jessi Alexander, and Jimmy Yeary—my other favorite song with truck in the title, but grab a handful of tissues before you listen to it. Here’s the poignant story behind the song. One Memorial Day weekend, songwriter Connie Harrington heard a father on radio show talking about his son, fallen soldier, Army Sgt. 1st Class Jared Monti, who died in Afghanistan while trying to save a fellow soldier. When asked how he would commemorate his son, the father said, he’d drive his truck. “What can I tell you? It’s him. It’s got his DNA all over it. I love driving it because it reminds me of him, though I don’t need the truck to remind me of him. I think about him every hour of every day.”
  • Click here to hear the song. Then click here to listen to “Mud on the Tires” to make you smile.

I always knew trucks meant a lot to their owners,  but after listening to these songs, it will change my writing because they’re more.

Giveaway:  To be entered in the random drawing for a signed copy of Aiming For His Heart, the Happy Clips, and the phone pocket, leave a comment about your favorite truck song or just a comment about trucks.

 

  • After a comment from MaryEllen Cox I have to add another song. Wait In the Truck by Hardy, featuring Lainey Wilson. Another wow that will hit you emotionally. Click here to listen.

Quilting Superstitions

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Since my oldest son recently married, I intended to write a post on wedding traditions but as what happens, my plans went awry. The more I wrote, the more it sounded like a high school Home Ec report.

My son and I before his wedding

However, when researching wedding traditions, I discovered single women in the 1800s stressed over whether they would marry. To cope, they relied on parlor games or predictions such as tossing cats into new quilts. That sent me down a rabbit hole to discover how traumatizing poor cats in a quilt could predict a woman wouldn’t be an old maid or reveal her true love. That led me to an article on quilt superstitions and a topic change.

Here are some superstitions I discovered. My comment (because I couldn’t post these without saying something. 🙂 ) follow each superstition.

 

 

Luck:

  • Never make a quilt with 13 blocks
    • I assume it’s because 13 is unlucky. Okay, now I’m wondering how and why 13 was labeled as unlucky. But I’ll save that for another day.
  • If a thread breaks, it will bring misfortune.
    • There should be a warning label on thread because who hasn’t broken a thread while sewing a quilt? And does it bring major misfortune such as a car accident or a minor one like losing a shoe? Come on, be specific about how bad this will be.
  • Stitching a spider web design into a quilt will bring good luck. Because a spider web is so easy to work into every quilt design.
    • First, a four-leaf clover or horseshoe, for luck I could see. But a spider web? Second, I never remember seeing one in anything but Halloween quilts. The solution to that is to sew a small one in somewhere, but I’m not that talented. ? I guess whoever I give future quilts will have to add one or do without the extra good luck until I figure out how to sew one. Either that or I have apologies to make.
  • It’s bad luck to give away your first quilt.
    • This would’ve been nice to know before I gave my first quilt to my son. However, since that quilt stayed in my stayed in my house, maybe I didn’t get too much bad luck for that.
The first quilt I made which I gave to my oldest son.

Marriage:

  • When a new quilt is finished, the first woman it is thrown over will marry first. Wrapping her in it will ensure she marries within a year.
    • I’m wondering if throwing the quilt over is different than wrapping her up in it, or if one superstition is simply more specific.
  • Wedding quilts should have borders of continuous vines or ribbon patterns because a broken border means the marriage will be broken too.
    • I must be an awful person because my first thought here was, if someone didn’t like who their child was marrying, they could give the couple a quilt with a broken border.
  • If a single female puts the last stitch in a quilt, she will become an old maid.
    • This superstition was easy to avoid when quilting bees or circles were prevalent, but what’s a gal to do now, call a married friend or relative to put in the last stitch?
  • After taking a quilt off the frame, wrapping it around an unmarried woman will give her luck to find a husband. Throwing it at the first single man she sees, will “charmed” him into a relationship. If a young lady shakes a new quilt out the door, the first man who comes through the door will be her future husband.
    • From the little research I did, I discovered there was a lot of quilt shaking and throwing them at folks in the past, making me wonder if there are other superstitions to uncover. But apparently they had to be newly completed quilts. Which spurns me to wonder why they had to be new…

 

My bff made this beautiful quilt for me.

Miscellaneous:

  • If you sew on a Sunday, you will have to pull out those stitches with your nose when you get to heaven.
    • First, with the way heaven is described in the Bible, I find it hard to believe God would punish a quilter this way upon arrival. Second, how would I pull out stitches with my nose?! Guess I’ll learn that should I be blessed enough to get to the Pearly Gates.
  • Quilts started on Friday will never be finished.
    • Again, why would this be worse than starting on any other day, except Sunday of course. ?

And finally, Cats and quilts and the answer to the question that started this.

  • If women stand in a circle and “shake up a cat” in new quilt, the one the feline runs toward will be the first to marry.

Giveaway:

To be entered in my random drawing for an ebook version of my Pink Pistol Sisterhood novel, Aiming for His Heart, leave a comment about quilting, superstitions, or whatever’s on your mind.

 

Coffee Shops and Making Friends

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When my bestie moved to Lexington, Kentucky a few years ago after living in the Chicago area for nearly 20 years we talked about how hard it is to make new friends now that our children are grown. (Yet another reason why I hate moving. I have nightmares about being the ‘new kid.’) When our boys were young it was easier. Our friends were parents of our children’s teammates, other band/choir/dance/insert your child’s activity.

So how can we make friends when we don’t have those child center friendship pools to draw on? Work and church come to mind. But so many of us work from home now. Or, what if you are a manager, and socializing with those you supervise is awkward? What if you’re retired? What if you can’t find a church you’re comfortable with?

The other day another friend shared Mel Robbins’ video “The ‘Coffee Shop Friendship Theory’ Will Change Your Life” with me. Here’s my quick summary, but if you’d rather watch the short video, click here. Robbins claims coffee shops are a great place to make friends, but there are four types which have people with different interests who frequent them. The first being chains, she says aren’t a good place to find friends. (Ironic note—I met Val met because I write in Starbucks Monday through Friday mornings. ?) The next type, “first responders” shops are frequented by town natives and community volunteers. Third is the “local coffee” shop where moms go before work or after dropping kids off at school. The last is the “high end” type which is fancy schmancy. After determining which type suits you, Robbins suggests going to a coffee shop for an hour multiple times during the week and once on the weekends. I recommend going around the same time each day for a while as people tend to come into the shop around the same time. If you don’t connect with someone then try a different time of day.

However, in this video she doesn’t say how to form the connection but having been blessed to find friends from writing in coffee shops over the years here’s what I suggest. Smile and say hello. Get the door for someone whose hands are full. Chat while you’re waiting in line. Compliment someone. Be kind. But from the way y’all are around the corral every month, I’m sure you know that. That’s just the way you are and you always brighten my day.

For me, interacting with people in little ways and even if it doesn’t form a lasting friendship, improves my mood, makes the world a better place, and reminds me what’s important in life—the connections, even small fleeting one, we make. My hope is that we all discover as the Beatles say, “And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.”

 

GIVEAWAY:  To be entered in my random drawing for a $10 Starbucks gift card, tell me how you met your best friend.

 

What Defines a Cowboy?

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I needed another photo and thought we could use a picture of a good looking cowboy.

Webster’s defines a cowboy this way. (1) one who tends cattle or horses (2) a rodeo performer (3) one having qualities (such as recklessness, aggressiveness, or independence) popularly associated with cowboys: such as a: a reckless driver b: a business or businessperson operating in an uncontrolled or unregulated manner. The first two are obvious and I agree, but the last definition? Who wrote that? Aggressive? Reckless driver? Maybe they’re confusing cowboy with renegade? I don’t know. But they don’t see the same “qualities” I see in a cowboy. And I refuse to even discuss the businessman one. The only part that definition has right is independent. In my opinion, Merriam-Webster blew it by failing to see what else makes a cowboy.

First, being aggressive makes me think of a bully. When I think of a cowboy, I think of John Wayne in movies where his character stood up for those who needed a champion. Big Jake and The Cowboys come to mind as examples. He stands up for what’s right, does what needs to be done no matter what the personal cost, and he certainly isn’t a reckless driver. See me shaking my head over this one yet again. He may take a risk, but he’s not reckless or as Webster says, “acting without thinking or caring about the consequences of an action.”

A cowboy possesses what some today call old-fashioned manners and values. They’re willing to work hard and can be counted on to finish the job. The words “yes, ma’am” are part of their vocabulary, and more importantly, used. No matter what their age, they call their parents’ friends Mr. and Mrs. to show respect. When I wrote my first novel with a cowboy hero Big City Cowboy, (which happened to be the only idea of that type I had at the time), the inciting incident forced my hero to go to New York to model. However, I wanted a reason other than to save his ranch. I asked myself what a cowboy loved more than his ranch or his horse. The answer his mom popped into my head. For me, that’s the kind of values a cowboy possesses. He values hard work, family, his heritage, and respects women.

But I write non-traditional cowboy heroes. Not all of them live or even grew up on a ranch. I think my expanded definition of a cowboy resulted from my son going to Texas A&M University. While there he became more “western,” more cowboy-like. Though looking back, I see glimpses when in high school he worked at the Heritage Farmstead, a historical farm and museum, and drove a tractor. But I started seeing the “cowboy” in him more when he attended A&M. Mainly because the culture at the university and in College Station, Texas, has a lot in common with cowboy values. It’s why my Wishing, Texas series has cowboy in the title despite not all those heroes living or growing up on a ranch.

So, back to good old Merriam-Webster. What are your thoughts on a cowboy? Does he have to be someone who owns a ranch, grew up on one, or competes in rodeos?  What do you think makes a man a cowboy?

That last thing I’ll say is, the trick is how to weed out a nontraditional cowboy from those who are all hat and no cattle. But I’ll save that discussion for another day.

 

A New Book, A New Lesson

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I’m excited for Aiming for His Heart to be released on June 30th. Writing this book, the tenth story in our Pink Pistol Sisterhood series, challenged me in many ways. First, at 40,000 words, it’s the shortest story I’ve written. I hear those who know me well laughing because you know I can’t say hello in less than fifty words. 🙂  In my first writing classes, the instructor asked if I was taking her class on writing tighter. To my I hadn’t decided answer, she responded that I needed to. Despite hard work on that, I struggled 60,000 word Harlequin novels within the overage allowance.

I also had less time to write this story. When I start a book, I count on two things happening. I’ll start in the wrong place, either too far into the story or too far . I’ll take wrong turns. Sure enough. Both happened with Aiming for His Heart. In fact, the wrong turns were so disastrous I pretty much started over once. Maybe twice. While I was proud of writing in the shorter time frame, as a tortoise writing (unlike many of my amazing rabbit speed writing filly sisters), doing so took its toll.

However, the main challenge came from my heroine, Jade. Boy did she and I get into a battle of wills. Okay. I hear you laughing again. Yes, I know I can be stubborn, too. ? Our trouble started during brainstorming. My story ideas almost always start with the hero. In fact, only one hasn’t. But in the Pink Pistol Sisterhood series the heroine receives the pink-handled pistol which plays a key part in the story. This meant the story needed to begin with Jade. Until I learned her backstory, her personality, and what she wanted, I couldn’t move forward. And blast the woman, she wouldn’t let me into her head.

I knew Jade’s mother died when Jade was ten. From then until she went attended college, Jade spent summers and school vacations with her maternal aunt in Oklahoma. There Jade found the love and acceptance she often didn’t receive from her workaholic, distant father and his new family. Jade revealed her past to me, but after that, she shut down. All she revealed was she was returning to Oklahoma to settle her aunt’s estate.

Anyone who’s taken on that task knows how emotionally and physically exhausting it is. Despite putting Jade in stressful situations, she remained distant, almost emotionless. Thankfully, while talking to my dear friend and critique partner, Nancy Haddock, I realized Jade acted that way because she didn’t want to feel anything. She didn’t want to let anyone in. I finally had my key to her character. Jade feared if she felt anything, especially grief, she’d fall apart and never recover. She viewed her emotions as the enemy because when she lost control of them, chaos and disaster followed.

Being a sinister author, I had to break her. But as often happens in my stories, in busting through my character’s defenses and forcing them to face their issues, I make a discovery of my own. I learned I had been at war with my emotions lately. Because I had been feeling too much for lack of better words, I didn’t want to feel anything and had shut down in some ways, too. Forcing Jade to deal with her emotions forced me to grow and deal with mine, too. I guess, not only do I write what I know, sometimes I write about what I need to learn.

GIVEAWAY:  To be entered in my random drawing for cactus tote leave a comment about a challenge that made you grow and what you learned or what new skill you acquired.

 

If Not Now, Then When?

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The if not now, then when question has been on my mind as I grow older and played into why I’m writing this while waiting for the remaining passengers to load on my flight to Los Angeles. More about how this unexpected trip came about later. Great teaser, huh? ?

I think I’ve mentioned I’m not big on change. I’m a routine gal. It’s called a comfort zone for a reason, after all. When plans get thrown off, I get stressed. I’m not the most spontaneous person either. As Alison in one of my favorite movies, The Sure Thing says, “Spontaneity has its time and place.” Yup, that’s me.

When I travel, I start thinking about what to take weeks in advance. I consult the weather repeatedly, pull outfits with coordinated jewelry, and plan for contingencies. Because I hate waking up and having to wear something, I take more clothes than necessary. I worry I’ll forget something or have the wrong clothes. I love traveling once I get on the plane, but everything before stresses me out.

For 2023, I’m working on these issues. I want to be more spontaneous and live without regrets. I refuse to let fear or stress hold me back. I’m also tired of putting things off, of saying someday I’ll do _____. Fill in the blank. Visit dear friends who’ve moved away. Travel to Hawaii. Whatever. I’m saying no to things I don’t want to do. That gives me more time for what I love and what brings me joy. Too often we forget how limited and precious time is. We say if only the timing were better. If only I had the money. If only ___. Again, fill in the blank.

Which brings me back to flying to LA. My youngest received a week’s notice he’d been selected as a contestant for a game show taping in LA. Even before we learned neither his boyfriend or best friend could attend, my hubby and I wanted to go. But it wasn’t a good time. Flights would be expensive. My bff, Lori, was to arrive two days before we’d leave for LA. After a long phone conversation, she decided not to go with us to LA, but insisted I go. Her exact words were, “This is a once in a lifetime thing. You are going.” (Thankfully, Southwest would issue a voucher to reschedule if she cancelled her flight.)

So here I am, flying to LA. This trip helped me work on the issues I mentioned earlier. I had to pack with little notice. (I’m impressed how efficiently I did considering if Nathan gets to the final round we will be seen on TV.) Leaving Tuesday and returning Friday threw my work and life routines out the window. The cost was more than we should’ve spent, but hubby and I don’t care. We would have no regrets the way we did when we missed Nathan’s first once in a lifetime experience. Yup, that’s right. Nathan, at 25, has had two once in a lifetime experiences.

While Nathan was in college, Tony award winning actress Kristin Chenoweth sang at Rowan University and needed backup singers. When no baritone students auditioned, the professor charged of selecting the singers contacted Nathan . Between the super short notice—maybe two days—and it being December, tickets prices were insane. (More than double the LA tickets.) We didn’t go, and I’ve always regretted not being there.

I’m trying to ask myself “If not now, then when,” when I have decisions to make. If I may never get this opportunity again or I’ll have regrets, I’m saying yes.

I’m writing this last bit on the plane home. While I can’t share how the game went for Nathan until after his episode airs, I can say hubby and I were incredibly blessed to have shared this experience with him because if not now, then when would we ever have a chance like this again?

Giveaway: To be entered in my giveaway for the Valentine’s Day heart shirt and a signed copy of Family Ties, tell me what’s one spur of the moment decision you’re glad you made. 

Are We Speaking the Same Language?

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Soon after having my first son (I now have three), I realized how males and females possess dissimilar views the world. We also speak and communicate differently. This realization and my sons have helped me be a better writer and create more realistic heroes. At least, I hope so!

 

When my heroes talk, I keep in mind there are phrases that guys just don’t say. Here’s the ever-growing list I search for to eliminate on my final edit.

I don’t think…

What if we…

How about if…

You may have to…

You might want to…

Think about… (or as I say qualifying it further, “Think about maybe…”)

I thought we might…

 

 

Men don’t qualify what they say or soften the blow. They tell others what needs to be done. Period. In clear, concise terms. What if someone doesn’t like it? Tough. We women worry about hurting someone’s feeling. Goodness, we don’t want anyone getting mad over what we say. And where does that come from? Anyone else raised as I was to avoid conflict at any cost? I see all the raised hands from here in Texas.

 

I’m not sure this illustrates my point, but then who cares?

 

For example, here’s setting up a lunch date between two female friends and two male ones.

Women’s Conversation:

“Where would you like to go to lunch?”

“I don’t know. What sounds good to you?”

“Anything. You choose. Wherever you want to go is fine with me.”

“I was thinking Italian.”

“Actually, I had that last night.”

“That’s alright. We can have something else. What do you suggest?”

“Anything but Italian is great, and if you’re really in the mood for that, I don’t mind having it again.”

Five minutes later, the women will hopefully have decided on a time and place.

 

Men’s Conversation:

“You hungry?”

“Yup.”

“Pizza?”

“Sounds good. Make mine pepperoni and green peppers.”

 

This leads into my next point. Women use around 20,000 words as day versus the paltry 7,000 men use. Guys are like Sergeant Joe Friday in Dragnet. They keep it to just the facts. They don’t embellish or add emotion to the story. (When I taught fourth grade writing, that was the hardest thing for boys to learn—to add their feelings to their writing.) Nor do men notice the same details women do. Women notice what people wear, jewelry, outfits, shoes, and hair. My heroine might think a friend’s dress is aqua, but then qualify if as turquoise, but not the blue kind, the type that has a green hue. Guys? They’ll say it’s blue if they notice the color. But a car? Men will often know the make, model, color, how much horsepower it has, and Lord only knows what else. Me? I’m lucky if I know how many doors the car had. This can be fun, though, giving a character an unusual trait such as the heroine being a car expert or a sharpshooter as in The Andy Griffith Show when his date, Karen beats him in shooting competition. Or I might have a hero who has two or more sisters notice details other heroes won’t.

 

Men are also fixers. That’s why when women talk, they often jump in with solutions. They don’t realize we merely want to vent and need another human being to listen. This makes for great conflict, especially if the heroine assumes the reason the hero’s offering solutions is because he thinks she can’t solve the problem or needs his help.

 

For me to write strong characters I had to understand how people are different and how those distinctions create conflict. It’s not that these traits are right or wrong. They’re simply facts. I find if I don’t remember them when I’m writing, especially from my hero’s point of view, my hero doesn’t come off as real to me, and if I don’t fall in love with him, I know none of you will.

 

GIVEAWAY:  To be entered in today’s random giveaway for the credit card holder, coaster, and signed copy of To Tame a Texas Cowboy, leave a comment on what you think is the biggest difference between men and women–other than the obvious Y chromosome, that is. Lol!

Stories from My Winery Visit

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Photo: Kiepersol

My husband and I recently visited Kiepersol Winery and Bed and Breakfast in Tyler. Our room at the Bed and Breakfast was in the building with the restaurant. Not only were the surroundings quiet, calm, and serene, the wine was wonderful, our room beautiful, and the restaurant defied description. They feature great steaks and seafood, with incredible sides. My favorites were the sauteed mushrooms and garlic potatoes. And the desserts…I had cherries jubilee, and I swear I gain a pound thinking about it, but it was worth every calorie.

But the stories of the winery’s history our wine tour guide, Ron shared captured my writer’s sentimental heart. Founder Pierre de Wet’s story would do any hero proud. Born in South Africa, in 1984 after the death of his wife from skin cancer, he and his young daughters, age two and four, moved to America. Pierre worked as a farm laborer until he could buy acres in Tyler, Texas. Though in 1996 there were no wineries from Austin to Florida, Pierre was sure he could make a winery work.

The winery’s name comes from the Kiepersol farm where Pierre grew up. Legend has it soldiers running from a lion toward a lone tree, shouted, “Kiepersol! Kiepersol” as they sought safety in the tree. (Later it was learned the soldiers yelled, “We hope this tree will keep us all!” Pierre named his winery after that Kiepersol tree, hoping everyone who visited the winery would find that same comfort.

Pierre’s determination and frugality when he started his winery served him well. To lower startup costs, he purchased used equipment. In tough times he sold residential lots, eventually creating one of two wine estates in the U.S. In 2000, he harvested his first grapes. To sell his wine, he hired teenagers with signs and obtained retired Clydesdales for carriages rides that ended at the winery.

Photo: Kiepersol

I can’t share all the winery’s stories today, but I want to share one behind Flight sparkling wine. Guinea fowl have roamed the area for over 20 years as vineyard stewards. Their chatter safekeeps the grapes from deer and birds. They eat bugs serving as nature’s pesticide. Guinea fowl spotted feathers are believed to be good luck charms. Now to the name. The winery says, “We believe each spotted feather found represents a releasing of the past. Flight is grown in a place where one can feel soulfully grounded while also letting dreams soar. So. Take Flight my friends.” That sentiment makes me shiver.

I love visiting Texas wineries and hearing their stories. The minute I heard Pierre de Wet’s, I thought how I would’ve loved to create such a hero. The courage, strength, and determination he possessed to come to America with two young daughters when the only person he knew was a Texas A&M professor, astounds me. He created a winery, a bed and breakfast with fifteen rooms, an incredible restaurant, a distillery, and an RV park! But most importantly, he raised two strong women who carry on his legacy.

Pierre de Wet and his daughters
Photo: Kiepersol

I may have found a retirement-keep-busy-and-involved career. What could be better than telling a winery’s stories, meeting fabulous people, especially if I could be paid with an occasional bottle of wine and dinner?

Today I’m giving away this horseshoe decoration and a signed copy of To Tame a Texas Cowboy. To be entered in my random drawing, leave a comment to this question. What is the best story you’ve heard or best/most interesting fact you’ve learned on a trip? Or, if you don’t have a story to share, just stop by to say hello or tell me about a real life hero in your life.

 

A Refreshing Author Weekend

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Have you ever run yourself so ragged that you just couldn’t even put two and two together?

 

That’s where I was about a week ago. This season of my life has been challenging. My oldest daughter graduated from high school in May and I’ve been doing ALL THE THINGS, like shopping trips for college, helping her apply for student aid, gearing her up to pack, scheduling last visits (like doctor and dentist). And…trying to keep my author business going.

It’s been a lot.

From left to right: Kari Trumbo, Elana Johnson, Cathe Swanson, Mandi Blake, Laura Ashwood, and Chautona Havig

I’m about to break the fourth wall here, but we are in a “pivot” season as far as being an author goes. Marketing books is vastly different from what it was pre-covid and even during covid. While I know there are still cases, the world’s way of thinking is different and authors are having to adjust to the way people are now consuming entertainment. Figuring out what works now, is challenging.

So, all that to say, I needed a reset!

I met with 5 other authors over the last few days in northern Minnesota. We talked, we had devotions. We worked through stuck plot points. We fellowshipped… It was fantastic.

AND, it was exactly what I needed to keep going. You see, even professionals get tired. We need someone to refill our cup too. I didn’t know who to ask, I wasn’t even sure exactly what I needed, but God knew.

The only thing I’m bummed about? Jessie Gussman was supposed to be able to come but had to cancel. Having her there would’ve been fantastic. I will meet her in person some day.

Other than myself, at least two of these authors have been on the blog before and all of them are fabulous.

The setting for the retreat was a very rural, rustic cabin out in the woods. We saw deer and one of the authors even had close encounter with a coyote. Luckily, they are afraid of people it turned tail and ran the moment it saw her.

 

Beyond the refreshment I got (and hopefully gave) to these great women, was the scenery. We took a day trip to Lake Superior, and everyone loved experiencing the ‘big water’, some for the first time. There is something incredibly relaxing about huge bodies of water. The waves, the sound, the scent, and the blue of the water

meeting the sky just creates this amazing internal worship. I can’t explain it any other way.

What do you do when you need a refresh?

In the past, I’ve been able to grab a good book or talk to friends and recharge my batteries, but I think I let myself get too low. I needed to get away from the ordinary for a short time (Thurs.-Sun. morning). While I can’t do a retreat every time I get in this situation, I now know that I can look forward to this every year and I’m excited for 2023.

 

To Invite Parents Into A Story or Not

by

Many of my books deal with the theme of family of choice. There are a couple reasons why. I’ve always been geographically separated from family and then later, I became estranged from my parents. This changed my writing and my definition of family.

Another reason I turned to this theme is because having parents–ones who have a solid relationship with their children, offer advice when asked without dictating, forgive their children, are mentally healthy, and set good examples–is tough. At least for me, they muck up a story. They often keep their children from making bonehead mistakes that drive a story and create conflict. Why? Partly because they’ve raised children to consider options before acting, gave them a solid moral base, and are present during rough times.

That’s why either my hero or heroine often have past issues from with one or both parents. Let’s face it. Anyone who’s a parent has worried about screwing up their kid. I often joked I hoped I wouldn’t botch parenting so bad my kids spent spent in a therapist’s office. But in romance novels, emotionally damaged characters make for create conflict and character growth. How we’re raised, our emotional baggage and wounds, taint how we see the world and influence our every relationship. For example, Zane in To Marry a Texas Cowboy has major family baggage. Like two  large suitcases and a trunk’s worth.

 

Here’s an excerpt that shows how two relationships shaped Zane’s life.

“Why isn’t your old man helping out?”

“He’s in Europe trying to patch up marriage number three. Good thing, too, because he’d be a worse choice than her assistant.” How could folks as wonderful as his grandparents have raised such a shit for a son? Someone who would lead two completely separate lives with two families?

“I’m thinking a man who breaks out in hives when he hears the word wedding has no business managing a wedding planning company,” Cooper said. “If you ask me, that’s looking for trouble.”

Zane wouldn’t let  Grandma Ginny, the one person who’d been there for him his entire life, loving him unconditionally and acting as a guiding force, put her future at risk. He’d do anything this side of legal for her.

Even run Lucky Stars Weddings.

 

Another thing I like about parental absence in my stories is it allows friends to occupy a prominent role. I love creating banter between good friends, who as Elbert Hubbard says, “A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” That kind of friend will also tell you when you’re being an ass, and often do in my books.

 

Here’s an example of the heroes in To Tame a Texas Cowboy, who view themselves as family.

“What did this one do? Is she another one with a hyena in heat laugh?” Ty asked, pulling Cooper back to the conversation.

AJ dug his wallet out of his back pocket. “Nah, can’t be that. Not even Coop could find two of those. Ten bucks says this one talked too much.”

“I’m still here, guys, and I’d rather skip the psychoanalyzing session. If you’re interested, I think I can scrounge tickets to the Alabama game. If we can beat them, we’ve got a real shot at the national title,” Cooper said, hoping to channel the conversation onto football and off his love life, or lack thereof.

“I say Coop connected with this one on Facebook, and she posts pictures of her food all the time.” Ty tossed a ten on top of AJ’s, completely ignoring Cooper’s change of subject.

Damn. He was in trouble if tickets to the A&M Alabama game failed to divert his buddies.

Zane tossed a bill on the stack and rubbed his chin while he flashed a perfect white smile at the women two tables over who’d been giving him the eye.

When he glanced back at his friends, he said, “I peg her as the strong, assertive type who’s recently divorced and is still in her angry phase. I say she complained about her ex.”

His friends stared, waiting for him to declare the winner. Betting wasn’t much fun when he was the topic. While AJ and Ty weren’t correct now, in the past, he’d lost interest in women for both the reasons they predicted. Tonight, Zane came damn close. Too close.

“Zane, sometimes you’re damn scary when it comes to women. How do you do it?”

“Years of extensive research.” Zane grinned as he scooped up the cash.

 

So, that’s why I often don’t include a parent or parents in my stories. Another time I’ll chat about the couple times I have had a parent be a prominent character.

 

To be entered in my random giveaway for the cactus T-shirt, coozie, and a signed copy of Family Ties, leave a comment telling me what you think about having the hero or heroine’s parent(s) as main characters in a story.