I tell you what. The news these days is a real downer. Between Covid, violent protests, riots, political bickering…it all makes me want to throw the television across the room and hide my electronic devices under the couch cushions.
Sure makes me wish for simpler times when we didn’t have such easy access to social media, endless replays, and too much journalism that is more about the ratings than it is the truth.
We all need to laugh more. Science says it’s good for our mental health. We all know it’s good for the soul, too.
Here are some cowboy funnies that will brighten your day. At least, they did mine!
The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.”
The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge.
The usher became more impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there, I’m going to have to call the manager.”
The cowboy just groaned.
The usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment, he returned with the manager. Together, the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.
The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy, What’s your name?”
“Sam,” the cowboy moaned.
“Where ya from, Sam?”
With pain in his voice Sam replied…. “The balcony.”
Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church.
“When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,” Joe began.
“You mean the parking lot,” interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow.
“I walked up the trail to the door,” Joe continued.
“The sidewalk to the door,” Charlie corrected him.
“Inside the door, I was met by this dude,” Joe went on.
“That would be the usher,” Charlie explained.
“Well, the usher led me down the chute,” Joe said.
“You mean the aisle,” Charlie said.
“Then, he led me to a stall and told me to sit there,” Joe continued.
“Pew,” Charlie retorted.
“Yeah,” recalled Joe. “That’s what that pretty lady said when I sat down beside her.”
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
“Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked.
“Well, I can think of one thing,” the cowboy offered. “On a trip to the Big Horn Mountains out in Wyoming, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. Then I yelled, ‘Now, back off or I’ll beat you all unconscious.”
Saint Peter was impressed. “When did this happen?”
“Couple of minutes ago.”
The only good reason to ride a bull is to meet a nurse.
Nature gave us all something to fall back on, and sooner or later we all land flat on it.
Don’t squat with your spurs on.
Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
I hope you enjoyed reading these as much as I enjoyed finding them!
Even more, I hope I’ve uplifted your day. There’s nothing like a cowboy and his humor, that’s for sure!
Does all the bad news drag you down, too?
Do you have a favorite joke or funny story to share?
If not, that’s okay. Just let me know that you’re smiling, and your day is now brighter, and my day will be brighter, too!