Children crack me up and they greatly enrich my stories when I write about them. I also love writing about love and marriage and have strong personal opinions about the subject—but not as much as children do. My goodness, they’re opinionated. Many years ago (way more than I want to share) Art Linkletter had a segment on his TV show called Children Say the Darndest Things. People before the age of 30 won’t know what I’m talking about. However Jay Leno used to talk to children on the Tonight Show about various subjects and they’re always so funny. I can’t think of anything more fun than talking to kids. Some are pretty wise for their age and they’re always downright hilarious.
The other day someone asked my five year old great grandson how old my daughter (his grandma) was. He slapped his hands to his head and said, “I don’t know but she’s really, really, really old.”
Here are a few random ones from the Linkletter show.
How do you decide who to marry?
One girl said, “No person really decides before they grow up. God decides it all way before and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.”
A boy said, “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports and she should keep the chips and dip coming.”
What is the right age to get married?
“Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.”
What do most people do on a date?
“Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.” (A wise girl if I say so myself!)
“On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.”
When is it okay to kiss someone?
“When they’re rich.” (I like the way this girl thinks. Wish I’d have listened to her advice.)
Is it better to be single or married?
“It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.”
How would you make a marriage work?
“Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.”
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One thing for sure, children sure have a unique view of the world. I love writing about them and usually put at least one in every story. They can add so much more depth and emotion.
I put an orphanage in my Hangman’s Daughters series and there were so many funny things the kids said. Here’s a scene from Winning Maura’s Heart between a six year old boy and a mysterious stranger gives only the name Calhoun.
Henry’s grin revealed a big gap in his mouth where he’d lost two front teeth. His eyes usually had a mischievous twinkle.
“Well, Henry, I’m right proud to know you.” Calhoun held the chair while he sat down. “This is a pretty nice place from what I can see. Are you happy to be living here?”
“Yep.”
“Miss Maura will be back in just a minute. I’m going to shave these whiskers off. Do you shave, Henry?”
“Yep.”
“You don’t say?” Calhoun felt the boy’s jaw. “That’s real smooth. You do a good job.”
“Yep. If I had spec’ables I could see better.” Henry propped an elbow on the table. “Miss Em wears spec’ables but Miss Mo don’t.”
“Miss Mo? Oh, you mean Miss Maura.”
“Yep, I guess.” Henry nervously glanced toward the door.
“Are you hiding from someone?” Calhoun asked.
He nodded. “Rosemary.” He released a troubled sigh. “She wants to get married but I’m tired of playing with dolls. I like playing with boys too, running and playing leapfrog. But she says I gotta choose.”
A tear-jerking Shakespearean tale if Calhoun ever heard one. He struggled to contain laughter. The boy was so serious as though this was the worst problem he’d ever have in his life. Little did Henry know he was only beginning to learn about the complexities of relationships. Calhoun released a long sigh. “There’s nothing worse than woman-trouble.”
“Nope. Sure ain’t. I’m just gonna tell her the weddin’ is off. I ain’t marrying her.”
“That’s it. Put your foot down, Henry. A woman will respect you for it.”
Here’s a link to the book if you want it. CLICK HERE
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Do you like hanging out and talking to kids? Or maybe you know something funny a child has said. Leave a comment to enter a giveaway for the ebook copy of Winning Maura’s Heart.

















