Are you a reader who loves descriptions and details of settings? Glittering ballrooms, the bone-chilling cold of a winter in the Rockies…or maybe the oppressive, killing heat of the desert? What about something idyllic, like a river or creek babbling through the woods? A beautiful rose garden, or even the ugly side of description—such as barren prison walls, or a Civil War battlefield?
A beautiful Oklahoma sunset!
It depends on the story, doesn’t it, and again, how much importance those descriptions have on the impact of the action, and the outcome of the story.
Here’s a setting to make you wonder…what’s going on here?
But let’s use a ball as our example.
If you’ve never been to an 1800’s ball—and none of us have—we need to know at least the barest details.
Five basic things we need to know are:
What is a ball?
Why is the ball being given?
Who will be invited?
When will the ball be given?
Where will it be held?
That’s enough for some stories. But the main question is—how important is the ball to the plot?
This is where layering comes in—and this one scene, and the details it contains—can be vital to what comes next, or even many scenes later.
So many things can happen at a ball!
Guests can meet for the first time, uninvited guests can show up, clothing can have significance, music can bring back memories, the food can even be poisoned!
Or, the ball can just be a ball, like the old saying attributed to Sigmund Freud, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar…” –and if that’s the case, then tedious description and intricate detail is wasted because the ball is just a vehicle to get from one scene in the story to the next, and has no real underlying importance.
Describing the details of the clothing worn is sometimes distracting as it pulls us away from the action. We may be reading about a blue satin gown when we need to be concentrating on the man who lurks in the shadows. Too much description can bog down the reader, and deaden the story, rather than bring it to life.
Why? Because deep description of the things such as décor, clothing, and meals stop the action of the characters. The plot “takes a break” while our minds process all of the description of the scenery, the meals, the clothing. In this case, again, sometimes, “less is more” and we need to let the reader’s mind fill in much of that kind of detail.
Consider this: We know certain facts—a ball costs a lot of money to host. So we already understand that those who are invited are most likely people who move in the same upper crust social circles. Therefore, we know they, too, have money, so are appropriately dressed, arrive in style, and are schooled in proper societal customs. One excellent way to cut through the “red tape” of description (of things we already know) is to describe something that is out of place, or “not right” as this reminds us of what should be—and those details of descriptions we’re already aware of.
Perhaps an impostor at the ball commits a social faux pas without realizing it, alerting others to the fact she isn’t who she pretends to be. Maybe an unlikely hero comes to her aid quickly, offering an excuse, or correcting the mistake before others notice.
This scenario does several things for the story that simple description can’t achieve.
1. Points out the discrepancy in what should be and what is.
2. Allows our characters interaction, and possibly dialogue and observation, rather than the author filling the page with scenic description.
3. Allows the reader the opportunity to learn more about the characters and their personalities through this interaction, and can be a vehicle to reveal something of importance.
4. Can possibly (and hopefully!) further the action during such a scene rather than slowing it by miles of scenic description.
This is not to say that there isn’t a time and a place for detailed descriptions of settings! We can’t call ourselves authors and take the “easy” way out by saying, “It was a ball like any other” by way of description, unless—we put it in the right context.
How about this:
Jake looked around at the opulent ballroom –the surroundings were familiar in a tiresome, cloying way. Or…maybe was jaded. It was a ball like any other—except for one thing. Something that made him catch his breath and inwardly let go a streak of curses he’d love to shout to the skies. She was here. The woman he’d thought he’d never see again…
Well, anything can happen now, can’t it? Maybe she’s wearing an inappropriate shade of red amidst a sea of violet and blue. There are so many ways to make setting come alive without endless description that many readers become bored with and skim over.
If you read my last installment of this blog series about main characters, the examples I used from Shane (Jack Schaefer) and St. Agnes’ Stand (Tom Eidson) are also prime examples of description of setting as well as character.
But here’s another good one I really think is wonderful from Conagher, by Louis L’Amour. In this story, Evie from “back East” has come out west to marry a man with two children. Evie tries to make the best of things, but she lives in fear, at first. The land is so different, After she’s been there a while, she finds there is a beauty in her surroundings she had to grow to love, in time.
As L’Amour describes the heroine’s (Evie) dismal hopelessness at the land her husband (Jacob) has brought her to, we wonder how she will survive. Yet, Jacob has plans, sees the possibilities that Evie cannot, or will not see. The underlying message is, “The land is what we make of it.”
As the story continues, she begins to appreciate the beauty of the prairie, while acknowledging the solitary loneliness of her existence. She plants a garden, nurturing the plants, and gradually she sees the farm being shaped into a good home from the ramshackle place she’d first laid eyes on.
The land is beautiful, but unforgiving. Her husband is killed in a freak accident, and for months she doesn’t know what has happened to him. She faces the responsibility of raising his two young children from a previous marriage, alone.
In her loneliness, she begins to write notes describing her feelings and ties them to tumbleweeds. The wind scatters the notes and tumbleweeds across the prairie. Conagher, a loner, begins to wonder who could be writing them, and slowly comes to believe that whomever it is, these notes are meant for him.
At one point, visitors come from back East. One of them says to Evie something to the effect of “I don’t know how you can stand it here.”
This is Evie’s response to her:
“I love it here,” she said suddenly. “I think there is something here, something more than all you see and feel…it’s in the wind.
“Oh, it is very hard!” she went on. “I miss women to talk to, I miss the things we had back East–the band concerts, the dances. The only time when we see anyone is like now, when the stage comes. But you do not know what music is until you have heard the wind in the cedars, or the far-off wind in the pines. Someday I am going to get on a horse and ride out there”–she pointed toward the wide grass before them–”until I can see the other side…if there is another side.”
The land, at first her nemesis, has become not only a friend, but a soulmate. L’Amour gives us this description through Evie’s eyes and feelings, not in writing about it from his perspective as the author.
Think of your own writing projects, and books you’ve read. What importance do you give setting in description, plot, even characterization? Within 40 pages of ‘Conagher’, we understand that the land, with all its wild beauty and dangers has become enmeshed in Evie’s character. She can’t leave it, and it will never leave her.
Endless, detailed description can’t do what L’Amour does through Evie’s eyes in a very few sentences.
Do you have a favorite description of a setting you’ve read about, or written about? Or is there a place in your heart that you’ll never forget because of it’s beauty, or maybe the opposite? Be sure to leave a comment! I’m offering a giveaway today of one of my books in Kindle, readers choice, USA only. We love to hear from our readers!
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Hawai’i was one of the most beautiful places I’ve been and will forever have a place in my heart.
Denise, I never got to go there, and probably never will, now. My oldest sister got a scholarship to go to school over there at the East-West Center when she was a junior in college. Oh, my goodness–what a stir that caused in our entire family! It was like a foreign country. That was in 1966, and Hawai’i had not been a state for very many years at that point. That was quite an honor for her, and she loved it. She went back many times in her life, and took my mom with her family on one trip. Mom was so thrilled–she had never dreamed she’d go to such an exotic place–I think it was one of the biggest highlights of her life. I’m sure it’s just filled with beauty everywhere you look.
no fav
Thanks!
Good morning Cheryl! I loved Conagher and the movie! I would have to say Mackinaw Island, Michigan. What a beautiful place and off the beaten path with much history! Another movie,Somewhere in Time! But, the island itself reminds you of a time you wish you had been to!
I know, you would have thought I would say a beach in Florida, right? LOL Although they are nice, we grow use to where we have always lived.
Many blessings!
Hi Tracy! I loved Conagher, too. I thought that was such a whimsical, innovative thought L’Amour had, to give Evie the idea of writing those notes and attaching them to the tumbleweeds, and what a wonderful way for that love story to evolve like it did.
I have never been to Michigan, but I’m sure there are many beautiful things to see there–sometimes we tend to forget that each one of our states has some very interesting and breathtaking things to see. I wish we could have traveled more when we were younger. I love Florida! Yes, we get used to what we live with and see every day. I love the ocean and have been lucky enough to have gotten to visit California when I was young, and Florida, too. That was back in the day when family vacations meant you traveled and stopped to visit relatives and spent the night, and then went on the next day to your next stop with relatives, and so on. LOL My aunt and uncle were both in the Navy and were stationed in San Diego at one time, and then were in Florida. So we went to visit them twice in California and once in Florida. Then when my kids were in jr. high-high school, my husband had to go to Florida for a work project for a month, so we all were able to go with him and we stayed in Melbourne–LOVED IT. We all wished we could have stayed forever. LOL
Yes, that movie Somewhere in Time–what a FABULOUS twist ending! OMG. I loved that movie and the setting was beautiful.
Thanks for stopping by today! Always so good to see you!
I love descriptions in books. It sets the scene for me.
As for a place I love because of the scenery, The Great Smoky Mountains National Park! I’ve been there a couple of times and just LOVE it. I really would love to live in a town close by but with my medical needs, it’s not possible. So we go visit.
Oh, yes, The Great Smoky Mountains–that is beautiful, beautiful country! I spent a lot of years in West Virginia and traveling through those in the neighboring states and on into WV was so breathtaking so many times. Yes, I know where you are coming from with the medical needs–gotta be close to good medical facilities! So glad you stopped by!
Oh what a wonderful post today. Happy Monday to you. I love to read details when it does not detract from the story as you put it. When I started to read older books, mom got me hooked on Louis L’Amour. I just loved his books. Still do. I love to read about the out doors and how people from cities handle them. Some not so well, and others like ducks to water. I have read some authors that have sucked me into the book with just the right amount of details. While others bog things down and my disinterest comes. Most times I will finish the book to see if the author picks up the story. Sometimes not. My husband and I went to Hawaii for our honeymoon and it was gorgeous and so full of history and beauty. I grew up in Apple Valley, CA and quickly learned to appreciated the desert and its beauty. I spent some time in the mountains and again such a difference from the desert, but so gorgeous in its own way. Our family took rafts down rivers and what we saw was impressive. And so much more. To see Gods splendor and creativity is awesome.
Lori, thanks so much for your VERY kind words! I’m so glad you enjoyed the post–I had so much fun working on this series of blogs. I used a lot of Louis L’Amour’s books when I taught creative writing classes. They are easy to follow, have a lot of action, good description, just so much to admire.
The rafting you mentioned sounds like SO much fun! Now? I’d probably break a bone if the raft capsized. LOL I do believe Hawai’i must be one of the most beautiful places on earth. I would love to go see it for myself.
Thanks so much for stopping by today!
I do so enjoy his books. He does give great descriptions.
Debra, one of the things Louis L’Amour was very conscientious about was his descriptions. He said he was always accurate in his descriptions of settings–he went and checked out his locations, and if he said there was a river there, there was a river! Etc. LOL It made his stories very authentic.
My dad loved his books.
Barbara, my dad was an AVID reader until the day he died. He never read a lot of fiction though, which I thought was odd–I think he was a lot like Mr. Spock in Star Trek–fascinated by science and how things worked, etc. But he loved to watch westerns on tv and we were talking about Conagher after he’d watched it at one point, and I told him I had the book if he wanted to read it. He said, “Well, I might give it a try.” (He didn’t want to hurt my feelings by turning it down outright.) LOL So I brought it to him next time I went down there, and he called me the next day and asked, “Do you have any more of those books?” LOL I went to the 2nd hand book store and bought a copy of every LL book they had and took them down in a big brown paper bag. Oh, my gosh–he was in hog heaven. He read every one of those books and I had to make a list of the ones he’d read and go hunt up some more for him. LOL I love tha memory because it just thrilled him to discover a “new” (to him) author that he could just read for pleasure and he loved talking about those books, so of course, I had to read them all too, so we could talk about them together.
Medora, ND is definitely one of our favorites! It is in the black hills, and so beautiful!!
Julie, I would love to travel to ND, SD, Utah, and Nevada and just “LOOK” at everything out that way! I’ve always been curious about that part of the country–would love to go see it all!
Guess I should have gotten into my dad/s Louis L’Amour collection because I would have enjoyed Conagher! I really have come to wish I could visit eastern Washington again after reading Shana Hatfield’s book because her descriptions allow me to immerse myself in her book. Any book that is that descriptive is a good book!
Ginni, Shanna is a master at description, for sure! She is so creative and is constantly full of wonderful ideas! Her books are all just fabulous! You can’t go wrong with any of her stories. I’ve never been to Washington before. I would love to go there! Thanks so much for stopping by today.
I’m a reader who usually likes settings described but there are times there is no need for description of settings
Crystal, I agree. But some authors feel that that’s their “forte” and those long descriptive passages of setting were very popular back in the earlier novels. It seems now that everything is shortened and abbreviated–that’s not always a good thing, but in some cases, it has made things better and moves the action along.
I don’t remember at the moment.
Thanks for stopping by, Bridgette!
I don’t have a favorite but on a trip to Alabama just outside Mississippi in an open field stood this beautiful metal cross with a gazebo like structure where you could set and look at the beauty of nature and think of the significance of the cross. It is tall enough that you can see it for miles before you ever reach it. It touched my soul to see something so beautiful on the side of the interstate.
Oh, that sounds really beautiful and unique, Linda. It was truly memorable, because here you are describing it so vividly! I would love to go through the southern states and sightsee things like that–I’ve been down through there when I was very young, and then again when my husband and our kids and I went to Florida one year, but of course, my husband was like a typical man–just wanting to “get there” and not interested in sightseeing. LOL Thanks for stopping by today!
I have read most of Louis L’Amour’s books and he does a great job of drawing the reader in by his descriptions. From your article I’m sure you do too. Some authors go on too long on descriptions and as you said, that detracts from the story, at least for me. I haven’t read Zane Grey but my husband said he goes on for pages describing something. lol Can’t wait to read your latest.
Sarah, that is true of Zane Grey. There are those readers who do love his books, but they were too draggy for me. To each their own. Thank you for your very kind words! And thanks so much for stopping by today!
I really need to get here earlier. This was another interesting lesson on writing. the land has always called to. me. I grew up in the mountains and they have a special call to me. Those in the East are “softer” in a way, especially compared to the Rockies. They pull your gaze upward and bacon or challenge you to tackle them and find what they have to offer. From the top, you have a glorious view of the world around you. I guess that was off topic.
For a place – setting I will never forget, there are many. One Is a night in Indonesia on Bali. I was invited by o e of the locals to attend a ceremony. There was no lighting except a bonfire, some torches, and the stars.Around the fire were three men in white with one of those horse costumes that make it look like you are riding the horse. They danced around the fire, occasionally drinking from bottles held for them on the sideline. The gongs were being played, people were chanting, and as the fire burned down their dancing became faster. When the fire had burned to coals, the chanting and gongs grew faster and louder. The dancing became frantic as the coals were spread in a rectangular path. Amidst the noise the dancers began to dance over the glowing coals. They finally slowed down, walking across and off the coals as the chanting and gongs quieted. Then it was done. People quietly left in the dark to go home.
That trip did hold some vivd memories. One day I might mention the night a young woman was passed by an evil spirit.
Thanks for jogging my memory of a trip I really enjoyed that sadly got cut too short.
Maine for several reasons first my father was born and raised in Maine and second it has such wonderful memories of childhood when we went tent camping there every summer until we were teens. The third reason is the absolute beauty of Maine coast line is just breathtaking with all the other beautiful places to see, they even have a desert, Desert of Maine and Bush home in Kennebunkport, just few place to visit. No other place I can think that I love has much a Maine.