I’ll be the first to admit, I was never good at flirting. And, a few years ago when I ran across the way that entire conversations or flirtations could be done, silently, I laughed. Not because they aren’t clever. Oh, yes, they are. Though, if everyone knew what was being said, I guess it wasn’t completely discreet? I laughed because I would never be clever enough to remember all of these. With my luck (and clumsiness!) I’d be saying the very, very wrong things! Take a look at what I mean!
Aren’t these terribly clever? So much could be said! Now, while many people swear this existed, and it’s likely that it did in some fashion, others have claimed it was a marketing ploy or a myth, something that only a few did or pretended to do to be mysterious. Still…can you imagine the fun a couple might have had with this?
Fans and gloves served as more than a beautiful accessory for a woman or man. There was an incredible practical side as well.
Gloves acted as a barrier against germs in public spaces, and not only kept the hands clean, but for women, protected them from the sun, keeping them soft and pale, and proving that they were a woman of leisure, not one who had to work. However, wearing gloves as a woman was mandatory, as a women without them would be consisted inappropriately undressed! And, did you know that they were different gloves for different activities? One would not wear the same gloves to ride, to go church, or attend a party.
For fans, they served multiple purposes as well. As electric fans and air conditioners didn’t exist, a fan was the only way to get a welcome breeze and to find a bit of relief on hot days. In a crowded place, they also helped provide air flow, to decrease unpleasant odors. A fan could protect the face from sunlight, protecting it, and a woman could hide behind it or be distracted by it in uncomfortable social situations.
I have also heard that there were secret languages created with hankies, others with parasols, and I think we are all familiar with flowers or herbs having meanings. I wonder what other things might have been used to create a secret language and communicate or flirt in silence.
Did you have a favorite way to communicate from those lists? Or one you might do by accident, just out of habit with that gesture? If so, drop it here and tell me!
Sarah is wife to an amazing teacher and mom to two boys who are growing up just a little too fast. She spends her days working and writing in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia.
Those are so fun.
I’m sure striking them over the hand to show displeasure is still a common way to use gloves.
Oh yes, I bet it is!
Oh my! I would probably make a grave mistake saying that I was vexed when I really meant I wanted to meet them. Lol
It would be so easy to do!
How would you hold a fan if you simply didn’t want to communicate anything? Holding it wrong might be telling a person something that you didn’t want to say.
That’s a fantastic question!! I wonder that now too!
I like the fans. I do have a habit of opening and closing them. Hmm I may have to rethink that habit.
LOL! You’d have a lot of shocked expressions, if they knew what it meant!
I would probably send the wrong message with the fan and I don’t like wearing gloves.
I don’t care for gloves either!
No, I don’t think so.
There were some curious ones, for sure!
Very interesting! These ladies sound very risqué, with all these motions. How did one remember the proper expression with either method? I would be very puzzled with how to educate myself with the signal I would wish to give. I do like the fan’s motion for “kiss me”. Whoohoo.
I’d have to have it written real tiny on the inside of my fan to remember!
I talk with my hands all of the time, so I know I’d be saying the wrong thing!! Plus, I’d never keep them all straight, anyway!
Haha!! It would make life interesting, at least!
I could never keep all the meanings for fans and gloves straight. I would be a social disaster.
I never did have secret signals or anything like it growing up.
When I was in the Peace Corps I had to be careful. Gestures that have little or benign meanings here in the US are interpreted very differently in other countries. Some were obscene or insulting, some embarrassing. We were warned about some, but found out the hard way about others. It is true in all countries. If you travel, it is a good idea to check on gestures to avoid in the countries you visit.
I, too, would be a total disaster if I tried to communicate using gloves or fans. I do remember, growing up,when you wore gloves to church, especially on holidays.