As a reader (and author) of sweet, historical western romance, nothing gets me more excited than seeing a new mail-order bride story. While I can’t begin to imagine what these women went through, I can certainly create a scenario that seems plausible to me.
When I wrote my first mail-order bride romance, I did a lot of research and found some of the most hilarious recounts of how and where men found their match. Of course, it wasn’t always done by mail. There were many different avenues to explore should you be in need of a wife. Or, for that matter, a husband.
The Standard Mail-Order Bride
The most familiar scenario was the “advertisement”. This was also the longest process given the time it took for a letter to cross great distances during the mid-1800s (the height of the phenomenon). Generally, a man would place an advertisement in a handful of larger newspapers throughout the East and Midwest. The ads varied from short and to the point, to longer explanations. I found a wonderful example of these ads during my research and used of few of them to create a meme insert in my book, A Christmas Baby for Beatrice.
The Bridal Service/Matchmaker
The use of a matching service took a lot of the unknown out of the process. Applications for both men looking for brides and women seeking to be a bride were (hopefully) scrutinized by the person running the matchmaking service. Matches were made and, depending on the applicant’s preference, contact was then done via letters until the couple became comfortable, OR they went on blind faith that the matchmaker knew what they were doing.
Matchmakers, especially during the time of the gold rushes and land grabs, would often set up meet-and-greet parties, where you could meet face-to-face before selecting a partner. For the most part, these were among the most successful of all the matching types.
Matches weren’t always perfect and, occasionally, the bride was ‘returned’ which usually involved paying for their travel expenses back to where they came from. Or, by receiving a refund from the matching service. My very first mail-order bride romance, Seth’s Secretive Bride, was a mismatch that turned into a beautiful love story.
The Arranged Marriage
Arranged marriages were the norm among the rich, most often for business purposes of mergers or financial bailouts. Given most young women would never defy their father or mother’s wishes, these marriages often ended up cold and heartless. Children were only conceived out of a sense of duty, and husbands often took mistresses. Personally, I’m not a fan of arranged marriage brides. I much prefer a strong heroine who refuses to accept her fate. I’ve written a few of those. All with happy endings, of course. My latest arranged marriage story, Adela’s Solemn Vow, ended in rejection by the would-be groom. Thank goodness my heroine was strong-willed because she took it in stride and made a new life for herself with a much better hero.
The Church Marriage
Probably the least known form of matchmaking was those that were facilitated by the church. It wasn’t widely practiced but did happen when a newly ordained minister was single. The church, preferring a stable homelife for the man in charge of their faith, would find a suitable wife for the minister to marry.
My grandfather, Peter M. Weaver (b. 1860), was first ordained as a Methodist minister in Tennessee in 1884. His church arranged a marriage to Nancy Ann Melson (b. 1864), a lovely twenty-year-old from a nearby community, and so began my lineage on my mother’s side of the family. They had two children right away, a son and a daughter, born in 1885 and 1887.
In addition to his small country charge, my grandfather also covered two other remote areas on his circuit (not unusual at the time). When he was home, he and my grandmother ran a small farm to help feed their family. However, in 1909, at the age of 45, my grandmother became with child for the third time. My aunt Lillie was born in September of that year. My mother followed two years later in September of 1911. By the time both my aunt and mother were born, the two older siblings had children of their own, making both babies aunts to children older than themselves.
Despite my personal family history, a church-arranged marriage is the one scenario I’ve not attempted to write. I’m not sure why, but likely because it hits home too closely.
I’d love to hear what you think of the mail-order bride scenarios. Is there something you’ve not read that you think would make a good premise?
I have four signed/print books to give away. So, please feel free to comment for your chance to win.
Wishing you all a happy, blessed day!
Nancy
NANCY FRASER is a bestselling and award-winning author who can’t seem to decide which romance genre suits her best. So, she writes them all.
When not writing (which is almost never), Nancy dotes on her five wonderful grandchildren and looks forward to traveling and reading when time permits. Nancy lives in Atlantic Canada where she enjoys the relaxed pace and colorful people.
While researching my newest release, Emily, part of the Prairie Roses Collection V for 2023, I took a look at what the typical family of six (3 adults, 3 children), would need to make the three-to-four-month journey. Here are some of the more interesting things I found:
Food stores took up the largest portion of their allotted supply wagon. While items could be replaced along the way at various settlement or forts, the time to get to those locations varied due to traveling conditions, so you never wanted to run out of a necessity. The basic food stores included:
