As a reader (and author) of sweet, historical western romance, nothing gets me more excited than seeing a new mail-order bride story. While I can’t begin to imagine what these women went through, I can certainly create a scenario that seems plausible to me.
When I wrote my first mail-order bride romance, I did a lot of research and found some of the most hilarious recounts of how and where men found their match. Of course, it wasn’t always done by mail. There were many different avenues to explore should you be in need of a wife. Or, for that matter, a husband.
The Standard Mail-Order Bride
The most familiar scenario was the “advertisement”. This was also the longest process given the time it took for a letter to cross great distances during the mid-1800s (the height of the phenomenon). Generally, a man would place an advertisement in a handful of larger newspapers throughout the East and Midwest. The ads varied from short and to the point, to longer explanations. I found a wonderful example of these ads during my research and used of few of them to create a meme insert in my book, A Christmas Baby for Beatrice.
The Bridal Service/Matchmaker
The use of a matching service took a lot of the unknown out of the process. Applications for both men looking for brides and women seeking to be a bride were (hopefully) scrutinized by the person running the matchmaking service. Matches were made and, depending on the applicant’s preference, contact was then done via letters until the couple became comfortable, OR they went on blind faith that the matchmaker knew what they were doing.
Matchmakers, especially during the time of the gold rushes and land grabs, would often set up meet-and-greet parties, where you could meet face-to-face before selecting a partner. For the most part, these were among the most successful of all the matching types.
Matches weren’t always perfect and, occasionally, the bride was ‘returned’ which usually involved paying for their travel expenses back to where they came from. Or, by receiving a refund from the matching service. My very first mail-order bride romance, Seth’s Secretive Bride, was a mismatch that turned into a beautiful love story.
The Arranged Marriage
Arranged marriages were the norm among the rich, most often for business purposes of mergers or financial bailouts. Given most young women would never defy their father or mother’s wishes, these marriages often ended up cold and heartless. Children were only conceived out of a sense of duty, and husbands often took mistresses. Personally, I’m not a fan of arranged marriage brides. I much prefer a strong heroine who refuses to accept her fate. I’ve written a few of those. All with happy endings, of course. My latest arranged marriage story, Adela’s Solemn Vow, ended in rejection by the would-be groom. Thank goodness my heroine was strong-willed because she took it in stride and made a new life for herself with a much better hero.
The Church Marriage
Probably the least known form of matchmaking was those that were facilitated by the church. It wasn’t widely practiced but did happen when a newly ordained minister was single. The church, preferring a stable homelife for the man in charge of their faith, would find a suitable wife for the minister to marry.
My grandfather, Peter M. Weaver (b. 1860), was first ordained as a Methodist minister in Tennessee in 1884. His church arranged a marriage to Nancy Ann Melson (b. 1864), a lovely twenty-year-old from a nearby community, and so began my lineage on my mother’s side of the family. They had two children right away, a son and a daughter, born in 1885 and 1887.
In addition to his small country charge, my grandfather also covered two other remote areas on his circuit (not unusual at the time). When he was home, he and my grandmother ran a small farm to help feed their family. However, in 1909, at the age of 45, my grandmother became with child for the third time. My aunt Lillie was born in September of that year. My mother followed two years later in September of 1911. By the time both my aunt and mother were born, the two older siblings had children of their own, making both babies aunts to children older than themselves.
Despite my personal family history, a church-arranged marriage is the one scenario I’ve not attempted to write. I’m not sure why, but likely because it hits home too closely.
I’d love to hear what you think of the mail-order bride scenarios. Is there something you’ve not read that you think would make a good premise?
I have four signed/print books to give away. So, please feel free to comment for your chance to win.
Wishing you all a happy, blessed day!
Nancy
NANCY FRASER is a bestselling and award-winning author who can’t seem to decide which romance genre suits her best. So, she writes them all.
When not writing (which is almost never), Nancy dotes on her five wonderful grandchildren and looks forward to traveling and reading when time permits. Nancy lives in Atlantic Canada where she enjoys the relaxed pace and colorful people.
Another interesting, lovely, and little-known fact (at least to me) was how many young African American women came to the Arizona Territory. The mining camps were filled with young black men and older black widowers—but they weren’t the one who came up with the mail order bride idea. That came from the married African American women already in the territory. They found the presence of so many unattached men in their community “unsettling,” according to Black Women of the Old West by William Loren Katz. “With too few women to go around, the wrong kind of women came to town, and fights among the men were frequent. The answer, they convinced unmarried men, including many widowers, was an arranged marriage to a mail order bride,” he writes. They advertised in newspapers and Eastern churches and many young ladies responded. “Filled with hope, young candidates set out from Boston, Philadelphia, and New York. Many left lives of poverty, family problems or personal tragedies. Each sought her American dream, a new beginning. They hoped to find the thrill of love, the warmth of family, and a new life.”
I’ve always found the topic of mail-order brides fascinating. Men predominantly settled the western part of the United States. They went in search of gold, to build ranches and homesteads and soon found themselves desiring to have a wife for companionship and to enjoy the new life they’d built. They didn’t want to go back east to find a bride, so they advertised for one to join them in their new endeavor. In fact, there’s was a whole magazine devoted to this called Matrimonial News. Others ran ads in newspapers across the country.
But it wasn’t only men who were looking for a bride. On rare occasions, women advertised for a mail-order husband. Which is the premise of the beginning of my new book, Wooing Gertrude. My heroine sends off for a mail-order groom. But things don’t turn out quite the way she intended. Here’s a look at my new book.
When I started writing Mercy in Montana, I knew I wanted to have the sisters and their father together at the Kentucky Derby. I don’t know why I wanted that, but I did. Maybe I was using fiction to imagine being there myself.
morning dress.” Col. Meriweather Lewis Clark Jr. attended the Grand Prix de Paris in 1872 and decided to create a high-profile horse race when he returned to America. The high fashion of the Kentucky Derby added to the allure of the event and drew in crowds wanting to show off their finest apparel.
scarcely put together a nice outfit to save my life. I worked in the office of a country club some 13 years ago, and was required to dress much nicer than at any job I’d previously held. I became quite thankful for the styled mannequins in various stores. I would buy exactly the clothes to make the outfit on the mannequin. I never did master mixing and matching my pieces to make multiple outfits.
Regina Walker, a spirited author with a passion for penning captivating tales, finds her inspiration in the enchanting fusion of Jesus and horses. As she roams the great outdoors, her heart sings in harmony with nature’s melodies, as the Holy Spirit whispers secrets to fuel her vibrant storytelling.
Having been raised in urban and heavily suburban areas where houses are shoulder to shoulder and streets signs are on every corner, I get lost easily in rural and wide-open places. I’m used to directions such as “turn left on Poplar Street, then make your fourth right onto Elm.” Directions like “drive north for three miles, then head west for six miles” are a foreign language to me. My Girl Scout badges included cooking, games, home health, and drama. No camping, farming, or gardening for me. I now live in New Hampshire, and despite moving here twenty years ago, I still tremble if I have to head somewhere I’ve never been.
Beryl’s Bounty Hunter
One of the many reasons I find the Wild West fun to write about is the opportunity afforded women during the time. With a ten-men-to-every-woman ratio in many of the territories, women were more concerned about suitability than availability. As someone who lives on an island where there are eight single women to every available man, I prefer those odds of 150 years ago.
Since Lila is part of the Rescue Me Mail-Order Brides, I had to create a strong Alpha male character to rescue my heroine from imminent danger. I liked the idea of a Bounty Hunter, a man who makes his own rules and is his own boss, but that lifestyle meant a hero who is always on the move. Not exactly a happily-ever-after prospect for our bride.
The station’s platform was bustling with activity as folks called out, pushing and shoving in all directions. Once again, she rued her short stature. For it was impossible to see over the heads of those around her.
For as long as I can recall, my mother has traced our family history. Sometimes she makes slow progress, occasionally great leaps, but it’s something she has built for years. While her dedication and commitment have always inspired me, I must admit that I thought it was such a boring pursuit.
When I received a message asking me to join the 
I chose to give Mason the last name Barkey to honor my heritage. Although my great-great-grandfather did not order a bride via the mail, it was my way of honoring where I came from to include the last name in this story.
