In my latest book, my heroine, despite watching some of her friends find love matches, is resigned to the fact that she should marry well and within her class. She’s been raised to do it, and it’s hard for her to go against this. And no wonder. Families back in the day had a lot of say when it came to marriage of one of their own. If you were part of high society, such as my heroine, you came with a generous dowery that was incentive for a prospective groom to propose. When it came to money and marriage, the finances were discussed by both parties and many had to have a prenuptial agreement.
My heroine’s other dilemma was the fact her friends found love matches with those below their social class. This was a hard pill for her to swallow as marriage was encouraged only within one’s class. If you wanted to move up the social ladder, you were called an upstart. Too far up and you were a gold digger. On the other hand, to marry someone in a lower social class was considered marrying beneath oneself. In some cases, you could wind up a laughingstock. Love had to be stronger than one’s bank account to warrant such a move.
In the east arranged marriages were more common, and quite often the couple only met a few times, or not at all, prior to the wedding. Meanwhile out west, where arranged marriages were becoming a thing of the past, the mail-order bride took over. Once again two people were getting married without knowing each other. They got hitched then hoped for the best!
Through history and into modern times, the practice of arranged marriages has been encouraged by a combination of factors. In some countries there’s the practice of child marriage, two people betrothed at birth. When they come of age, they marry. There are also late marriages, tradition, culture, religion, poverty and limited choice. There were also things like disabilities, wealth and inheritance issues and political, social and ethnic conflicts
Arranged marriages began as a way of uniting and maintaining upper class families. Eventually, the system spread to the lower classes where it was used for the same purpose. Remember that rule about marrying in one’s own class?
Back in Victorian society, women had one main role in life. Get married and take part in their husbands’ dealings, interests, and business. Before marriage, they would learn domestic skills such as cooking, washing, and cleaning, unless they were from a wealthy family. Is it any wonder my heroine is fighting between finding true love and marrying the man her parents found for her? He’s wealthy, his family powerful. He’s even not bad to look at. Unfortunately, he also has terrible allergies and the personality of a door stop. What’s a debutante to do?
I’m giving away one free e-copy of my yet to be released, A Match for the Debutante, to one person from the comments below. Most of us don’t know anyone who had an arranged marriage or was a mail-order bride, but it’s fun to ask ourselves the question, could we marry someone we barely knew? To ask ourselves this question living in the 21st century, most of us would say nope! But if you lived in the Victorian era, could you do it?
