A month ago, I learned from my father’s doctor that Dad has diastolic heart failure.
Dad is 95. Living alone. More than three hours away from me.
The doctor said the safest place for Dad was in assisted living care.
So, in a whirlwind that now seems like a blur, I set up tours at several facilities, asked people for recommendations, and found what we hope will be a wonderful place for Dad.
Everyone we’ve met at the assisted living facility we chose – from the residents to the staff – are so friendly and welcoming.
Still, it was hard to leave Dad in his room there and return home last week.
That move has made me think about Dad’s life. The things that have come and gone, all the variety of things that had changed in his many years of living.
Even though we had to downsize a lot of things in the move, we brought a little bit of the farm with us to his new room at the assisted living facility, and we chose a John Deere theme for his decorations.
You can watch the before and after transformation of his room here if you like.
My dad came from a long line of farmers. In his high school yearbook under the line that asks what he planned to be, he simply listed a farmer.
And it’s what he did.
He and my mother married young, moved away from their families, and worked on a variety of farms and ranches until they saved enough money to buy their own farm.
They lived on that land for fifty-one years.
Daddy worked hard and expected all of us to give our best as well. He was most often up long before the first rays of sunshine would streak the morning sky and could be found out laboring until there was no longer any daylight to work by.
In the summers, if I wanted to spend time with my dad, I went with him to irrigate. I accompanied him many times in his semi-truck when he’d deliver a load of hay (the sleeper in the cab was a perfect place for my baby dolls to ride.) There was a time when all the guys at the parts counter at the John Deere dealer probably knew me by name because I would ride along with dad to go on a parts run. He always bought an icy cold glass bottle of Coca Cola from the vending machine and we’d share it while we waited for his parts order to be filled.
My mother thinks Daddy was one of the few farmers who had a four-year-old in pigtails asleep at his feet on a pink blanket while he swathed hay. I think he was probably one of many who spent time with their kids anyway they could, even if it meant having them underfoot while they swathed, baled, or combined. As I got older, I went from just tagging along to having chores to do, and then taking on more responsibility and work.
My dad didn’t just want to be a farmer, he needed to be a farmer. He loved farming, loved the land and loved his family – and to him they were all intermingled and entwined. Farming was as essential to him as air to breathe, water to drink, and food to eat. It was never a job to him. It was a way of life. His life – and all he ever wanted to do or be.
It didn’t matter if the temperature was 103 degrees or 3 below, he did what needed done to keep the farm going.
In the summer’s, he’d get tired and worn out. Sometimes, I think he would have liked to take a long break, but he never did. He and my mom both used to say, all the time, “rest and go again tomorrow.” That is exactly what they did.
What I learned growing up on a farm, besides how to precisely set irrigation tubes of all sizes, move sprinkler hand lines, and buck hay bales, was responsibility, loyalty, and perseverance. If things aren’t going just like you want, you don’t quit and walk away. My dad taught me that you figure out how to make it work. I learned all about multi-tasking, time management, and organizational skills by watching and working with my dad.
Lessons learned while I was working on the farm are ones you can’t find in a classroom, you can’t glean them from a Google search, and you can’t duplicate them without the experience that goes along with the lessons. Daddy taught me by example. By watching him, day after day, pour his all into what he loved, I learned so many life lessons that have served me well over the years. I’ve had a few people call me tenacious. If I am, it’s because I learned it from my dad.
When I think of Dad and his life, I always think of Paul Harvey’s popular speech So God Made A Farmer.
As Dad enters a new chapter in his life, I’m so grateful that God made him a farmer.
When you graduated from high school,
what did you want to be?
What I thought I wanted to be and what I was forced to major in at college were two different things. I became something else, and I’m so much happier.
I have a long line of farmers in my ancestry. Love your dad’s place.
Thank you, Denise. Glad what you became is something that brings you joy! Thank you for stopping in today!
I wanted to be an EMT and I was for 7 years
Oh, wow! That is awesome. Thank you for the work you did as an EMT.
I thought I’d earn my MLS and be a librarian. Commuting to the university as a non-driver didn’t work out, so I dropped out of the program after about 6 weeks. Eventually I was hired as a Library Technician and worked in government libraries till our daughter was born.
How wonderful you were still able to work in libraries until your daughter was born. I always thought that would be a fun job, being surrounded by books all day!
I wanted to be a writer or a librarian, then a kindergarten teacher. Sadly my life didn’t turn out the way I thought it would and I didn’t get a chance to do any of those things. Still God has given me much, and in a roundabout way I’ve experienced being a librarian and kindergarten teacher. I have my personal library and many nieces and nephews that I have had the honor to teach before they started school properly.
How lovely, Laura, there were many blessings along the way even if things didn’t turn out like you planned. Have a beautiful day!
I wanted to be a teacher.
That is so neat, Linda!
I wanted to be an accountant. I never really became one, but I worked a lot of jobs that entailed some form of accounting, God Bless are farmers.
That’s great you worked jobs that included some form of accounting.
And thank you!
Good morning Shanna! Loved your Dad’s room! John deer green! I also grew up as a farmer’s daughter. I was the oldest of three and my Dad took me with him on the tractor. He had an AC cab! That was a treat to stay cool in the summer! I slept behind him or played with my dolly. He made a bench and covered it with carpet. I’m with you, I learned a lot from my dad also.
I wanted to be a fashion art designer! Until my mother mentioned Chicago or NYC! I hated driving in Jacksonville FL, much less a larger city! No, big city life wasn’t for this country girl!
Best wishes to your Dad. Thanks for sharing another walk in your life with us!
Hi Tracy!
That is so fun you also rode with your dad on the tractor. Our swather had AC and I loved riding in it. I had a blanket on the floor with my doll and snacks. It was so fun to watch out he big window as Dad cut hay. In the tractor and the stacker, when I was little enough to fit. I sat on top of a tool box beside Dad.
How cool you wanted to be a fashion art designers. I’m with you, though, to not wanting to drive in big cities!
Thank you for the best wishes! Much appreciated!
THIS is my life as well!! Hubs is 7th Generation farmer and son is also working on a huge farm! I wanted to be a large animal vet – at the time a vet had to sponsor you, had that too – just didn’t have the $$ needed for college!
Oh, that is too bad you couldn’t pursue your dream to be a large animal vet. How awesome your husband is a 7th generation farmer. Love that!
I absolutely loved this, Shanna!! What a beautiful tribute to your dad. There was love and respect dripping from every word.
He’s going to be happy in his new place. He’s where he needs to be, especially with John Deere all around him. And he’s so blessed to have you caring for him and helping him.
You are so kind, my friend. Thank you! We are hoping and praying he enjoys his new place and makes new friends.
Love the tribute to your dad. His new “digs” turned out great – will keep many memories alive for him. Can’t miss doing a lifelong farmer’s home in many things John Deere. Great to know he’s settling in and getting to know those, old friends and new, who make the facility home. Enjoyed the make over of his rooms from bland to a cozy home.
I planned on doing something in Biology, got my degree then became a flight attendant and full-time rancher. The degree does come in handy as a sub teacher.
I was going to be a chemical engineer but when I got to college I realized I didn’t care for it even though I was good at math and science. I ended up being an accountant.
I had always wanted to be a teacher, then I became engaged. The September after graduation we were married. I graduated from college 21 years later and eventually got a job teaching.
My dad was a cattle rancher, so I had much the same life you did growing up, including the parts runs! I can very clearly remember when I was 4 years old, my dad lifted me up on the counter at the sale barn, and I sang every single word of Marty Robbins’ “Strawberry Roan.” We listened to music while we drove around checking cattle. I lost him in 2017 to cancer, and not a day goes by that I don’t miss him terribly.
How beautiful to have received your father’s love endlessly. A treasured gift for sure. And, for him, to be loved so deeply in return is a gift. May God bless you both richly in the days to come. You are quite the team!
I wanted to be a secretary. I loved typing and working with lots of different office machines. Eventually after getting downsized out of several secretarial jobs, I started my own business doing typing and legal transcription at home. Now I am retired.
From the time I was young, in grade school, all I ever wanted to be was a nurse. I read a lot of books about nurses and when I graduated from high school, I went to nursing school on a scholarship, graduated and passed my boards. I worked as a nurse for 5 years then took the time off from nursing to raise six children, homeschooling for 20 years. When my youngest went away to Bible school, I renewed my license and went back to nursing until I retired at 65. I say “I used to be a nurse”, but that is not true. Once a nurse, always a nurse. It is who God made me.
I wanted to be a mom??????
Good Wednesday Morning Shanna,
Your dad sounds like my maternal grandmother. She not only loved farming, it was necessary for her to have her hands in the dirt! 🙂
I wanted to be a secretary and I was for a while.
Thank you,
Julie Bullock
I wanted to be a nurse but the closet I got was being a medic in the Army b
What did I want to be? Anything away from the farm. I wanted to be into bookkeeping, planned to go to business school, but got married instead. I don’t know why I chose that avenue. My father grew up on a farm, always lived and worked a farm during my youth. He worked hard with cattle, sheep, pigs and some horses. He grew corn, oats and wheat. One year his fields were flooded out so he planted buckwheat that year to make up some of the deficit. When I got into high school, he started selling grain feed, and also began selling metal buildings, round ones. During his farming years he also built farm equipment, actually invented some useful equipment. He hardly ever rested and even drove our family to the lake for a week vacation while he went back home to work while we were gone. He was very industrious. I loved him dearly, and he passed away from cancer at 76. He is still missed greatly.
P,S, – Your dad’s new digs look very comfortable, and I hope he will be with you for a long time yet, Shanna.
Shanna, I loved the deep emotion in your post and totally related. This transition is really scary but you can get through it if you keep going. I always wanted to be a writer. That’s all. A writer. But I didn’t tell anyone when I graduated from high school because my parents and friends thought it was something that would pass. Maybe I thought so too for a time as I tried to find a way to make my dream happen. Took a while. Loved your post, Filly Sister.
I wanted to be a nurse and 28 years later I became one until I retired when I was 65. That career was as rewarding as I knew it would be and, of course, my only regret is not going to college after high school. But, I did not come from a college family and they wanted me to get a job.
I love your dad‘s room. I hope when my family moves me to assisted living they will fill it with all my nursing Precious Moments and memorabilia from that time.
All I wanted to be was a wife and mother
I just wanted to be a wife and mother. I got that but also married a farmer and we have a good life in our late 70’s.
I wanted to be a nurse, but that did not happen. Shanna, I am walking a similar path along side you as my Dad was admitted to a nursing home in May at the age of 87. God bless you.
Good afternoon Shanna, wow, what Beautiful memories of growing up in the farm and spending time with your dad you have . My dad was a machinist and he would work on the cars engines, at home I would help him out cleaning parts in his garage, I would also ride on the jacks and on the creeper, I loved it, I know I have asked myself, and told myself, I should have become a machinist and a mechanic myself, oh well, I guess it wasn’t meant to be. I wanted to be a Nurse when I grew up, but I didnt go through with it. My daughter is an RN and so is her husband_my son in law. And now my grandaughterv(their ) just started her first year of Nursing I am so Very Proud of them all. So actually I have my own Private Nurses, what else can I ask for. I was also very Blessed that I was able to stay home and be with my daughter and my son when they were growing up, Thanks to my husband I didnt have to work. I was also able to help our daughter and son in law taking care of our 2 grandchildren (who are now grown up and in College) while they both were working the night shift in the hospital, here in our same town. I have been Very Blessed. Have a great rest of the week.
Loved the transformation video, Shanna. I went to college for a degree in French and history, thinking I’d move to Paris and be translator. Love got in the way, but since I never gave up my greatest dream of being a writer, it all turned out fine.
What a wonderful post! Thanks for sharing. I wanted to be a marine biologist. Instead I became a science teacher.
Love your dad’s story. No matter what we chose to do in life, we were taught by our parents to do it to the best of our ability: to work hard and not quit until the job was finished. My mother especially taught me to enjoy work. She always whistled or hummed while working. It taught me to love to work, not look at is as a chore. Thank you for sharing your dad’s story and I pray he will make some good friends in the assisted living home. God bless!
My goal in life was to find a good Christian man. Get married and have children. I always pictured a small home with a white picket fence. lol Got part of that, the most important part.