When Did a Girl Become a Woman in the Old West?

by

Hello Reader Friends!

I’m BEYOND excited to be back with my Petticoats and Pistols family again today!

As I was writing my most recent book, Mail-Order Lady, I stumbled down a historical rabbit hole that I thought you might find interesting:

If you were a nineteen-year-old woman in 1870, were you an adult—or did you still have to mind your mama?

As it turns out, the answer depended a whole lot on where you lived!

In Mail-Order Lady, the heroine, Clara McKinney, is nineteen years old and originally from South Carolina. But during the story, she’s living in the Montana Territory.

And that distinction matters more than I realized.

You’re an Adult…But He’s Not?

In 1870, there was no standard age of majority throughout the United States. Each state and territory had its own rules.

And Montana Territory had a particularly interesting one.

According to a federal government report from the period, women in Montana reached their legal majority at eighteen, while men didn’t reach theirs until twenty-one! Even more surprising, Montana law allowed a man to marry at eighteen, while the report listed no fixed marriage age for women.

So at nineteen, Clara was already legally an adult in Montana.

Her mother could travel all the way from South Carolina and insist Clara come home for an arranged marriage. But legally? Mama was no longer in charge.

 

 

But What If Clara Went Home to South Carolina?

Here’s where things get even more interesting.

South Carolina set the age of majority at twenty-one for both men and women. So back home, nineteen-year-old Clara would still have been considered a minor.

South Carolina’s marriage laws were unusual in another way, though. The state didn’t yet have the marriage-license system we’re familiar with today, and parental consent wasn’t required in the same way it was in some other places.

So Clara’s mother couldn’t simply order her to marry a particular man. But at nineteen, Clara would still be a minor in South Carolina—and family expectations, financial dependence, and social pressure could give Mama plenty of influence over her future.

In Montana, though? At nineteen, Clara was legally grown.

What If Clara Had Been in England?

The difference becomes even more fun when we compare Clara’s situation to the English Balfour family she’s marrying into.

In England, the age of majority was still twenty-one. And marriage laws gave parents considerably more authority over the marriages of young people under that age.

Under the Marriage Act of 1823, parental or guardian consent was an important part of marriages involving someone under twenty-one, with different procedures depending on whether the marriage was by license or banns.

So imagine being nineteen in 1870.

In England, you’re still a minor, and your parents can have a very real say in your marriage.

Travel thousands of miles west to Montana Territory and—if you’re a woman—you’re an adult at eighteen.

Meanwhile, the nineteen-year-old fellow standing beside you still has two years to go!

Apparently, the frontier wasn’t only a place where people could build new lives. In some cases, it could actually change their legal status.

 

 

Which Brings Me Back to Clara…

All of this became especially fascinating while I was writing Mail-Order Lady.

Clara’s family has very definite ideas about her future—including the man they expect her to marry. When her mother arrives in Montana determined to take her back to South Carolina, Clara has some difficult decisions to make.

Fortunately, there’s also Robert Balfour.

Robert is the scholarly Balfour brother, much more comfortable with books than courting women. But he’s been secretly in love with Clara for months now…ever since his brother married her sister. When circumstances push Clara and Robert toward a marriage of convenience, suddenly the question of who gets to decide Clara’s future becomes very important indeed.

And thankfully, the laws of Montana Territory were firmly on nineteen-year-old Clara’s side.

It’s one of my favorite parts of writing historical romance: I’ll start researching one tiny detail for a scene and discover something I never expected.

I pray you love Mail-Order Lady! And don’t forget to grab the rest of the books in the series if you haven’t read them already. (You can read them free in Kindle Unlimited.)

 

Now I’m curious about you!

If you were nineteen-year-old Clara in 1870 and your mother arrived in Montana determined to take you home to marry the man she’d chosen for you, what would you do?  Would you go home to keep the peace—or would you remind Mama that in Montana Territory, you’re a grown woman now? ? Answer in the comments for a chance to win a signed copy of Mail-Order Viscountess (which is book 3, the book right before this one)!

 

Thank you so much,

Misty M. Beller

66 thoughts on “When Did a Girl Become a Woman in the Old West?”

  6. I graduated back in 1983 at 17, and decided to join the Air Force. My parents were separated and I went to my father to sign the paperwork because I knew my mother never would. He asked me if my mother approved and I lied and said yes. I met my late husband at training and we got married six weeks after we met, two weeks after I turned 18 and legally could. So I can say with absolute certainty, I would definitely have stayed in Montana lol.

      • Lol, I always thought it would be a perfect Harlequin romance. We were married 26 years and have 3 beautiful daughters plus 2 angel babies he’s holding until I get up there.

  7. I’m pretty sure I would have stayed in Montana. The laws were pretty much the same in Arkansas during the 1970s. I married at 18 without having to get any parental consent, while my brother had to have my parents sign for him at 20.

  9. I would acknowledge my love and admiration for my Mom, but I would remind her that I am of age in Montana and will not return with her to marry a man she picked out for me. Thank you for the opportunity. God bless you.

  10. I think I would stay in Montana with the man I am coming to love. It is interesting to read this. When my husband and I got married in 1972 in New York state, he was only 18 (i am older than he is), he had to have his parents’ permission to get married. We just celebrated 54 years so I guess it worked out.

  12. I was married at 19 so can relate. I would definitely stay in Montano with the man I loved. Can’t wait to read this book, have loved the whole series. Thank you for all your research and for sharing it with us.

    • Thank you so much, Sarah! It means the world that you’ve loved the whole series, and I hope Clara’s story steals your heart too. 🙂

  13. Being the strong-willed person, I am, I would definitely stay in Montana and wed someone I wanted, not a stranger my mother has in mind. In my book, happiness is derived from picking your own path, not what someone else has laid out for me.

  14. I’d be informing my mother that I am legally an adult in Montana and I am not returning with her to marry anyone.

  15. I would tell my mother that I am an adult, living in Montana!

    As an aside, I found it a bit amusing that when my husband and I married in 1968 I was 19 and he was 20. He had to get his parents’ permission but I didn’t. I teased him unmercifully about that! LOL

  16. I have always been very close to my family, so while I like to think that I would stay in Montana, the reality is that I would probably have went home with my mom, although I don’t think I would necessarily have married the man she chose for me!

  17. I am a daughter of a very strong willed mother. However , genetics were passed down and my momma realized real fast she Raised an equally strong willed daughter. So the answer would be….I am staying in Montana and making my own decisions.

  23. I got married at 19 amid my mom’s disapproval, so I definitely would’ve stayed in Montana and lived life on my own terms. 53 years later, I’m still crazy about the guy, so Mom was wrong… and I think she’d agree.

  25. I was always a rebel with some things growing up. With that said, I’d be staying in Montana for sure. I don’t know how women in England could just marry out of family obligations and not love. I’m watching Bridgerton on Netflix. Wow is that a show and a half!!!! lol

    • Carrie, I’ve watched all of the Bridgerton series and I think my favorite was the last one – season 4. It was the romance between Benedict and Sophie. Such an unusual storyline. Loved it.

  27. Hi Misty, this is so very interesting, I would stay in Montana and get to choose for myself who I want to marry and when. I would not have anyone choose someone for me to marry .

  30. I would have stayed in Montana! I kept yelling at Clara’s mother, “She’s a grown woman, and you can’t tell her what to do!” Love this book and the series!

  31. The easy answer is that I’d stay and marry the man I truly loved. But in actual practice? My mom was sweet and loving, but when she gave a command, I obeyed. I’d probably have my man be by my side when we spoke with her, his presence giving me courage. Of course, the fact that he was a viscount couldn’t hurt my case, right?

  32. I fell down a similar rabbit hole regarding women’s banking rights. Many of the British-based regions gave women none*; Louisiana’s French-based laws and the Spanish-influenced Texas laws allowed married women to keep their own property, legal identity, and earnings from their labor. LOVE doing research like that and then being able to use the results to the benefit or dismay of the hero and heroine…

    As a matter of interest, the US still had odd restrictions–in the 1960s women in many states could still not have credit in their own names! I have been told my first credit card (Hecht Co.) issued to me, personally (and ONLY in my name, no co-signors), when I was “only” 18, was illegally issued–I certainly wasn’t aware of the restriction because I’d had my own bank account since I was a child! But, upon reflection, my parents were co-signers on my juvenile accounts… The 1970s saw a LOT of reforms thanks to the women’s movements then.

  34. I think I’d probably tell Mama that I’m an adult and don’t want to marry the man she has for me. Especially if that man wasn’t someone I could see a happy future with.

  35. I would follow my heart and stay in Montana because I wouldn’t want to marry someone because they picked them out for me. That would be my choice.

  37. Oh, I’d open my really BIG mouth and tell her no way was I was going to marry her pick for me. Not going to happen!

  40. I already left home, and as much as I love my mom, why would I go back now. I would like to be with who I want to be with and for love.

  41. I’d tell Mama, “Sorry, but I’m marrying the man I love. And I’m staying put in Montana.” (In real life, I married a man my parents didn’t approve of, and we’re celebrating our 42nd anniversary next month. The other good news is that my family eventually welcomed him in to the family, and my mother came to think of him as another son.)

  43. I love this series and highly recommend it. Please don’t include me in the giveaway I habe Kindle Unlimited. I would like to think I would like to think I would stay in Montana but things were so different back then maternal and sicitical pressure is very real.

  45. I believe I’d stay right in Montana and carve my own path…if she managed to get all the way out there on her own, she deserves it!

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