Children crack me up and they greatly enrich my stories when I write about them. I also love writing about love and marriage and have strong personal opinions about the subject—but not as much as children do. My goodness, they’re opinionated. Many years ago (way more than I want to share) Art Linkletter had a segment on his TV show called Children Say the Darndest Things. People before the age of 30 won’t know what I’m talking about. However Jay Leno used to talk to children on the Tonight Show about various subjects and they’re always so funny. I can’t think of anything more fun than talking to kids. Some are pretty wise for their age and they’re always downright hilarious.
The other day someone asked my five year old great grandson how old my daughter (his grandma) was. He slapped his hands to his head and said, “I don’t know but she’s really, really, really old.”
Here are a few random ones from the Linkletter show.
How do you decide who to marry?
One girl said, “No person really decides before they grow up. God decides it all way before and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.”
A boy said, “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports and she should keep the chips and dip coming.”
What is the right age to get married?
“Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.”
What do most people do on a date?
“Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.” (A wise girl if I say so myself!)
“On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.”
When is it okay to kiss someone?
“When they’re rich.” (I like the way this girl thinks. Wish I’d have listened to her advice.)
Is it better to be single or married?
“It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.”
How would you make a marriage work?
“Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.”
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One thing for sure, children sure have a unique view of the world. I love writing about them and usually put at least one in every story. They can add so much more depth and emotion.
I put an orphanage in my Hangman’s Daughters series and there were so many funny things the kids said. Here’s a scene from Winning Maura’s Heart between a six year old boy and a mysterious stranger gives only the name Calhoun.
Henry’s grin revealed a big gap in his mouth where he’d lost two front teeth. His eyes usually had a mischievous twinkle.
“Well, Henry, I’m right proud to know you.” Calhoun held the chair while he sat down. “This is a pretty nice place from what I can see. Are you happy to be living here?”
“Yep.”
“Miss Maura will be back in just a minute. I’m going to shave these whiskers off. Do you shave, Henry?”
“Yep.”
“You don’t say?” Calhoun felt the boy’s jaw. “That’s real smooth. You do a good job.”
“Yep. If I had spec’ables I could see better.” Henry propped an elbow on the table. “Miss Em wears spec’ables but Miss Mo don’t.”
“Miss Mo? Oh, you mean Miss Maura.”
“Yep, I guess.” Henry nervously glanced toward the door.
“Are you hiding from someone?” Calhoun asked.
He nodded. “Rosemary.” He released a troubled sigh. “She wants to get married but I’m tired of playing with dolls. I like playing with boys too, running and playing leapfrog. But she says I gotta choose.”
A tear-jerking Shakespearean tale if Calhoun ever heard one. He struggled to contain laughter. The boy was so serious as though this was the worst problem he’d ever have in his life. Little did Henry know he was only beginning to learn about the complexities of relationships. Calhoun released a long sigh. “There’s nothing worse than woman-trouble.”
“Nope. Sure ain’t. I’m just gonna tell her the weddin’ is off. I ain’t marrying her.”
“That’s it. Put your foot down, Henry. A woman will respect you for it.”
Here’s a link to the book if you want it. CLICK HERE
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Do you like hanging out and talking to kids? Or maybe you know something funny a child has said. Leave a comment to enter a giveaway for the ebook copy of Winning Maura’s Heart.
I was hanging out with my grandbabies the other day. They’re a joy, though only one can talk at the moment.
I guess my middle son had heard me discussing family trees. One day, he asked if the tree in the front yard was our family tree. I just told him yes. He was too young for me to explain enough for him to understand.
Oh my goodness, that’s funny, Denise! Sometimes it’s best not to explain. 🙂 I just love talking to kids. They’re very direct and if someone is not as pretty they don’t hesitate to blurt it out. It’s strange but they don’t see color differences. My great grandson formed a very close bond with a little black kid in kindergarten. I loved that. Thanks for coming, Denise.
Conversation with my 5yo daughter:
5yo: Mama, what’s a French kiss?
Me: What do you think it is?
5yo: Well, an Eskimo kiss is rubbing noses like Eskimos so I guess a French kiss is the was French people kiss.
Me: That’s exactly right!
5yo: No, it isn’t! It’s how they kiss on TV.
Me: How do you know?
5yo: ‘Cause that’s how Kyle kisses me!
Oh how funny! I love this, Rhonda. You daughter is a hoot! They sure tell on themselves at times. I’m so glad you stopped by. Have a beautiful day.
Oh, I loved that Art Linkletter’s show! We watched it every week – never missed. What GREAT family entertainment!
Thanks for the memories, Linda! You’re right – the way kids think is precious!
I know, Pam. So did I. It was the best part of the whole show. It’s a shame we don’t have things like that anymore. Love and hugs!
I have some laughs when kids of friends hit the stage they can repeat something back that that should not repeat. They are so literal and have no filter.
JCP, kids are extremely honest, even when it’s embarrassing to us. No filter at all. In Winning Maura’s Heart, the kids name the orphanage Heaven’s Door because they believed their parents could look down from heaven and watch over them. When mysterious gifts–a live baby, puppies, and toys — start arriving on their doorstep, they are convinced God is bringing them from their parents. I just loved writing that book. Thanks for coming, JCP.
Art Linkletter!! Wow that takes me back!!
Thanks for the reminder!
You’re welcome, Kate. Yeah, I used to watch that every week. It was great entertainment. I’m glad you enjoyed my post.
I love children, they are so funny and cute!
I agree, Bridgette. They always say whatever they think. And they can never keep a secret. Thank you for coming to read my post. Have a beautiful day.
Before retiring I taught preschoolers and Art Linkletter was right. Children say the darnest things.
Karijean, I imagine you heard a lot of funny things. My grandson was caught throwing rocks on the playground and when my daughter asked him why he did that, he said, “Because there were so many.” He’s a fireman now and I’m sure he’s forgotten all that. Thank you so much for reading my post. I hope it was a good start to your day.
Sad thing is kids today have to grow up so much faster than we did way back when.
Kim, that’s so true. Kids lose their innocence much sooner in this day where information bombards us from every direction and it is very sad. I wouldn’t change my childhood in the 60s &70s for anything. I’m so glad you came by.
I used to put all of the funny things my kids said on Facebook, so I would be reminded once a year in my memories. When my oldest was about 14, she said that love was like a pumpkin after Halloween, mushy and gross. I made that saying into a meme and shared it with all my friends!
Kim, I wonder if your daughter still thinks love is mushy and gross. That’s so funny! What a great idea to put them on Facebook. I never thought of doing that. Thanks for coming. 🙂
I too love a child in the story they always add a great depth to it – have 11 grands myself to enjoy!
Teresa, wow you really outdo me in the grands. I only have 5 and I have 3 great grands. I tend to put a lot of kids in my stories because I think they make the book a lot deeper. Thanks for coming. I’m happy you enjoyed my post
Children are so much fun. I remember one time when our youngest son was 9 or 10 we were going to Walmart with my MIL and SIL. Our son was saying he was going to be a rancher, a pilot and a Dr. He would fly to his patients no matter where they lived. My MIL asked him if he would be her doctor and quick as a wink he said “nope, I am not going to be that kind of doctor”. I wanted to slide off the seat and through the floor. My SIL was rolling with laughter and my MIL looked so surprised.
How funny, Barbara. He sure had some high expectations. Wonder what kind of doctor he thought about being. Not a grandma doctor for sure! Thank you for sharing that and for reading my post.
I have 6 grown children, 18 grandchildren, and 4 great grandchildren so I have certainly spent a lot of time with children. One of the funny things I remember is when my youngest son was young. He was very observant and bright. We were watching the movie Orca and in it a killer whale was chasing a fisherman. His wife had a broken leg and was on crutches. When the whale attacked the house they were living in, it jumped up and bit off the woman’s leg. My son looked at me and said “Now she really needs those crutches”. It was years ago, but I still smile when I think of his logic.
Oh my gosh! How funny! But he’s sure right. That woman had to have those crutches for sure. Thank you so much for coming over to read my post. And thanks for your comment.
sometimes
I’m glad you came today, BN100. Sometimes kids say the funniest things.
I have 3 grown boys and 2 granddaughters now. When I was raising my boys, they would try me something fierce. As teens one day at the dinner table, they were fighting about something I can’t remember. I had had enough and told them no more talking. Well, my boys all learned ASL with their Dad at a church for the deaf. So, they stopped verbally talking and continued with ASL! Trying not to laugh or smile, I told them that was talking. My youngest said, “It is not. Can you hear us?” Me, not usually fast on my feet, answered, “Well the deaf can hear you and so can your brothers, just in a different way. So stop.” Joe was always the smarty pants of the 3 boys and loved to argue with me. lol
Carrie, how funny! They always know how to get the last word in. 🙂 I’m glad you came over and I love the comment.
We were at the zoo the other day and this little boy maybe 3 or 4 walks up to me and says hi it sure is hot . I asked him if he was tired and he said yeah. I said why don’t you sit and rest a while and he said I think I will. What was so funny was that he was so dramatic and serious about it.
Linda, kids are always so dramatic, especially when they’re trying to act grown up. He gave you a laugh. 🙂 Have a great rest of your day.
Kids are hysterical!!! One of my nieces used to make up the craziest stories!! Her initials are B.S., so we told her that her stories fit! lol!!
LInda, I love this post! I remember when I was a kid myself, watching “Kids Say the Darnedest Things” with Art Linkletter. My mom would watch his show while she was ironing. They were so funny. My kids have said some stuff that was pretty darn funny, and I tried to write most of it down, but I know there were some I didn’t catch. When my daughter was about 8 or 9 and my son was 5 or 6, I was talking to them one day about our Indian heritage. Jessica said, “I wish we had Indian names.” I asked her what her Indian name would be if she could choose one. She said, “Fire Eyes” without any thought at all (so I am figuring she’d already been putting some thought into it!) LOL I asked Casey what his name would be–thinking, Probably something like “Power Ranger Man” etc. He looked right at me and said, “Eagle Talon.” You could have knocked me over. I had no idea even knew what a “talon” was at that point. LOL
I love seeing what all these kids had to say about life. They really are so funny and clever and cute! Very interesting post and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Love you bunches!
Children often add much to a story, usually laughter, mischief, and tugging at your heart. They can bring people together and be used against them. They manage to get themselves and and others into trouble.
Working with children for so many years and just being around them, I have heard some great and some surprising things. The wisdom young ones have can surprise you.
No need to enter my name in the drawing. I have read it and thoroughly enjoyed it.
I overheard my 4-year daughter say to my 8-year old … “Luke, I’m gonna marry you someday.” To which Luke replied, “You can’t marry me, I’m your brother. Besides, I don’t want an annoying wife!”
He just recently shared this story at her wedding reception =)
Children are so much. My grandson told me this elaborate story of his mother hitting a tree and she had a black eye. I asked his father what happened as he was the first one home and found out it never happened.