Kathleen Lawless on the Significance of Family

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Throughout history, the existence of the family unit has played a significant role, continuing to have a huge impact on most of our lives. Because of the opportunity to improve one’s fortune, and the types of employment available, never mind plain old gender inequality, the early settling of the West drew more men than women. As more communities were created a settled, the result was a disproportionate percentage men and women of marrying age.

The early settlers who struck out in search of new opportunity and the chance to settle new lands soon realized that when people compete for the same land and resources, success and failure often depended how prolifically one is able to reproduce. Extra sets of hands are imperative to work the farm or the ranch. One way men chose to attract a woman partner was to advertise for a bride.

I’ve written many mail order bride romances, but I wanted to do a different type of series with Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. Thus, I set out to create a family of seven brothers; a series where each man eventually meets and marries his soul mate.

As I started creating my leading men, developing their personalities, interests, skills, and goals, I quickly realized that having my heroes be biological brothers didn’t lend itself to the types of conflicts and storylines that would make interesting reading. I didn’t want them to all come from the same background and parents.

I felt the series would have far more appeal if each man was a loner, a product of his individual background and baggage. It’s difficult to be a loner if you grow up in a large family. Thus, I brought together seven young men from a diversity of backgrounds, circumstances, fortunes and talents. Swearing a loyalty to each other, this new family united in a single cause. Revenge.

For fun, I included a set of identical twins, but the others were as different from each other as they could possibly be. My newly-formed ‘found family’ banded together over a stretch of years at different times for different reasons. Having been knocking about on their own, none of them were accustomed to being part of a family dynamic, let alone the cooperation and compromise required to ensure a family functions and thrives.

One of the rabbit holes my research into families throughout history led me to was the ‘birth order theory’, where the eldest is perceived as the leader, the most responsible and conscientious. Middle children are thought to be more adaptable, diplomatic, and good at keeping the peace. The youngest is often seen as more playful, sometimes having a rebellious streak, or being irresponsible.

With seven brothers in my fictional family, did that mean there were five middle-children? Or two that were more irresponsible, while two who clashed for the leadership role. Numerous possibilities presented themselves. Maybe the elders were the first ones who formed this rag-tag family, while the late-comers were viewed as the youngsters, regardless of biological age.

Along the way, I couldn’t resist a quick analysis of my own siblings and my own children to test out the birth order theory.

Meanwhile, the series progressed with varying levels of commitment from the ‘brothers’ some intending to leave once the need for revenge had been fulfilled, others resenting the changes that befell their family, as one-by-one each brother claimed a bride. The remaining bachelors weren’t always happy about the intrusion of a woman, let alone several women into their male-dominated lives.

The end result was tons of fun, with lots of conflict. Not unlike every family I have ever known, including my own. But one thing is for sure. Differences aside, family is and always will be, the backbone of society as we know it today.

What do you think about the birth order theory as it applies to your own family?  Do you think a found-family, together by choice rather than birth, can share the same loyalties as one that shares blood? What about children who are adopted? Or an only child? I don’t always see eye-to-eye with my siblings, but when we lost a parent recently, I was very grateful not to be an ‘only’.

Leave a comment below, sharing some of your thoughts and theories regarding family for one of three chances to win a free copy of Book 1, Brody’s Bride. If you’ve already read the series, I’ll gift you a different title from my back list.

Meanwhile the series prequel, Before the Brides is available to everyone who signs up to join my VIP readers list. http://eepurl.com/bV0sb1

You can learn about the Seven Brides for Seven Brothers series, tagline: “Bridgerton meets Yellowstone.” CLICK HERE

About Kathleen:

USA Today Bestselling Author Kathleen Lawless blames a misspent youth watching Rawhide, Maverick and Bonanza for her fascination with cowboys, which doesn’t stop her from creating a wide variety of interests and occupations for her many alpha male heroes. Blaze in One Fantasy Fall is a movie stuntman, who rides a Harley instead of a horse.

With over 60 published novels to her credit, she enjoys pushing the boundaries of traditional romance into historical romance, contemporary romance, romantic suspense and women’s fiction.

She makes her home in the Pacific Northwest and loves to hear from her readers.  http://www.kathleenlawless.com

Sign up for Kathleen’s VIP Reader Newsletter to receive a free book, updates, special giveaways and fan-priced offers.    http://eepurl.com/bV0sb1

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45 thoughts on “Kathleen Lawless on the Significance of Family”

  1. I’m the oldest of three and only female, and I definitely identify with the oldest daughter dynamic.

    I think found-family can become a real family.

  2. I have an older brother & he played the protective role. We we close in high school, hanging out with the same people. I do think found family can be just as close as blood because some of who we hung out with had some extra kids and years later, they were still with them, family. I also think not all real family is that strong either, it just depends on the family. You can have one family with step siblings and adopted siblings and the birth siblings too that get along really good together and then have almost the same setup in another household and they all barely tolerate each other.

    • Joannie,
      I totally agree with you. And while you can choose your friends, you can’t choose your family. I know more than a few people who were adopted (all girls, interestingly) and their family dynamic with their non-adopted siblings really varies.

  4. I am the youngest of 5. The family dynamic that you mentioned didnt apply to my family. I feel like my 3rd sister is more of a leader than the oldest. The 2nd tends to be the trouble maker. My brother who is number 4 when he was younger had a rebellious streak but as an adult become more responsible. Because of a huge age gap between me and my siblings they say I’m almost like an only child. There is 8 years between me and my closest sibling and 7 years between me and my closest nephew. I guess it would just depend on the family.

    • Kerah, my family had the big gaps as well, but I’m the oldest. 13 years between me and my youngest brother and only 5 years betwen that brother and my son. No generation gap, that’s for sure.

  5. I am the middle child of 5 and probably the most responsible. The eldest was extremely entitled, the second rebellious, the fourth competitive, and the youngest fun-loving.

  6. Welcome Kathleen! I’m the oldest of three and the only daughter. I think responsibility is instilled in the oldest, or was for me. My parents came from large families. My father was the 6th and the baby for 5 years until two more brothers came along. My mother was the 4th in line and is now the oldest sibling left living at the age of 87.

    I’ve read this series and remembered how each one was different. And how each one refused to marry and it was getting crowded when the brides come rolling in! LOL

    Best wishes to you!

  9. Good morning, I love the sound of your book with 7 brothers in it. I have 5 siblings I have 3 older brothers and 2 younger sisters, so I am pretty much in the middle . I’m not sure about the family order, I think it just depends on the person. I do think that a family with adopted children , step children or what have you may, can be close knit, but like I said before I just think it depends on the individual person. When we lost both our parents , it got my siblings and I even closer. Have a Great weekend. I enjoyed your post and I love the sound of your books. Thank you for the chance.

  10. I am a middle child. I have an older brother and a younger sister. I was the peacemaker. I love the old westerns and I have a grandson named Brody. All the books sound interesting and I can’t wait to read them. Thanks for the opportunity to win. Have a blessed day.

  11. I think the birth order personalities are usually true. I’m the oldest and am a high achiever. With my children there are 9years between the first two. They both took on some the oldest traits. My youngest is more laid back and is a follower. She is a peacemaker. My oldest raised 2 stepchildren as well as 2 of her own. Their personalities were a mixture, as their placement in the family changed. One of the stepchildren is very close to my daughter’s’ children. I believe whether natural, adopted, or step siblings can be a family.

  12. +I’m all signed up! This series sounds like a wonderful read!
    I loved the movie Seven Brides for Seven Brothers! It’s bee a few decades since I watched it.

  13. There were five of us in my family and technically I am the middle child. The birth order personalities never really fit our family. My oldest sister was always bossy but not a high achiever, that was left to my next in line sister and me. My brother was three and a half years younger and my youngest sister thirteen years younger. She grew up in a very different family than the rest of us because we three older girls were no longer at home for most of her growing up years. We have twin grandsons who are adopted and they are definitely family as much as our two older grandchildren.

  14. I think the birth order stuff has some truth to it, but I also think a lot of it has just as much to do with how the children are raised. I’ve known a lot of middle children that acted more like first born children etc.

  15. In both my birth family, my husbands, and our children, the birth order characteristics hold pretty true. I am the oldest of 6 and hold to all the characteristics listed (leader, the most responsible and conscientious) plus you could add in rebellious, maybe from having all that responsibility all those years. Having the responsibility placed on you by parents (while we are gone, you are in charge) caused friction with my siblings which lasted for some well into their 50’s. My husband is also the oldest, but only of 2. His father died when we were juniors in high school, so he became an even more adult version of those traits. His younger brother is sort of a combination of the middle and youngest child. Our three children fit the descriptions perfectly. Our oldest has always been the epitome of leader, the most responsible and conscientious. She is always striving to do more and succeed as well as take care of everyone. Our middle daughter pretty much fits the above description, but can be a bit inflexible in her opinions. She seldom agrees with or approves of her siblings life choices. Our son, the youngest, has always fit the profile: playful, sometimes having a rebellious streak, or being irresponsible.
    We have also been part of found family. My husband was in the Air Force for 24 years, and the military family is a real thing. Connections and friendships are made for life. You rely on each other while in the service, not just on the battlefield but at home. When husbands are deployed, others will keep an eye on the family and help where needed. One thing we always did everywhere we lived, even now, is to be involved with senior citizens. Our children never lived near their grandparents, so we volunteered at senior centers and nursing homes. We often found seniors in the community and helped them out or included them in family activities. We felt it was important for them to get to know that generation even if they were not related. Even now with our children grown, my husband and I always seem to become surrogate family for seniors we become “responsible” for. Odd to say since we are both in our late 70’s, but the last one was a female WWII veteran who was 96 when she passed. It is sad when they have no family left or none who care.
    I like the title of the series. That is still one of my favorite movies. I had to get a second DVD of it because middle daughter also likes it and always had it. She named her son after the youngest of the brothers, Gideon.

  16. I guess I am a middle child but there is 10 years between my younger sister and me. I had an older sister and an older brother, I think there were 5 years between my older sister and me and about 2 years between my brother and me and then baby sister came alone ten year later. All that is left of my family is me and my younger sister now.

    • also think the birth order theory varies in degrees depending on the age differences.
      I hope you and your sister have grown closer over the years.
      My sister is ten years younger and we are very tight.

  17. I also think the birth order theory varies in degrees depending on the age differences.
    I hope you and your sister have grown closer over the years.
    My sister is ten years younger and we are very tight.

  18. I’m the oldest of three kids my younger sisters are fraternal twins my mother had all three of us within 14 months but in my family be the oldest had no perks because I was different my family was always stricter with me more overprotective and very much controlling I never got to make my own decisions so even though its probably to late for me I pray a miracle will happen to let me get married to someone

  20. As the first born (of 10) the theory that the oldest is the most responsible rings true; I was “Mom number 2.” My youngest brother did pull a couple stunts that are still mentioned (and he’s 58 now) but I wouldn’t say he’s still a loose canon.

    • I had fun writing these books and readers seem to really enjoy them.
      The brothers never failed to surprise me as I was writing their stories. I love it when that happens. I’m I’m surprised, I know the reader will be as well.

  22. Well being a twin and with no other siblings I can’t say about the dynamics. I can say that me and my sister are totally opposite in every where, different as night and day. This sounds like a excellent series. I’ll have to check it out

  23. I’m the oldest, the youngest, and everything in between. I don’t know where that leaves me. I’m an only child. LOL

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