I visited Fort Atkinson. A restored 1820s fort near my home recently and I may do a full year of posts because every room I visted could merit it’s own day in Petticoats and Pistols but no room was so fascinating (and horrifying) as the fort hospital.
This is (I assume) completely up-to-date (for the western frontier of course) medicine in the 1820s. So come along for the ride IF YOU DARE!
First of course read the sign above. They are claiming with pride that this is the fort HOSPITAL!!!
And they are also proud to announce the name and profession of their doctor. He is J Gale Surgeon. For some reason, I just think you all need to know this.
First the hospital bed. You know, this isn’t so bad. I recently spent the night in a motel which I shall call, well, let’s just call it the Daze Out Motel. And it wasn’t that much different. So okay. It doesn’t have a down comforter. It’s okay.
A mortar and pestle. This is quaint. And it puts me in mind of true medicine. Like pills. I’m with you Dr. Gale.
Then, well, this is bad, but it’s a fort. Bullets happen. Sad and painful but still. What did you think was going to happen when you joined the army? Grow up. Get on the hard little bed and quit whining.
And if the bullet probe can’t find the bullet, well, you can’t leave it in there, so okay, retractors. I’ve heard that word on TV shows, still, I could do without the illustration.
Is it ever wise to name any medical tool after a Goat let alone it’s foot? And what exactly do they mean it’s used to remove stumps and roots? And what exactly are they trying to elevate? I’m hoping this is a dental tool at the same time I’m terribly afraid that’s exactly what it is. Note at the bottom it says it also came in other shapes including…. and then an implement of some type either ‘accidentally’ covers that line up or the powers that be who made this museum made the decision to not tell us. My imagination begins to go wild.
Okay we’re still looking for that bullet. The forceps didn’t work. The retractor didn’t work. The Goat’s Foot didn’t work. Now we’re gettin’ the probe out. Is it getting hot in here? Or is it just me?
So if we STILL can’t find that blasted bullet then the surgeon begins to really earn his money right? (Mary is desperately fanning herself) A Bistoury Knife. They had several knives, a whole bunch of knives. Oh, how they loved their knives.
Because, of course, you know the most beloved of all treatments for doctors back then was BLEEDING PEOPLE. And here come the many and varied methods for doing that. As if too much blood in the human body was a crisis. The fleam. And bless them, they are wild for the illustrations.
Thumb Lancets. Really, read the words yourselves. I need to get some air.
Notice how they boast about the tortoise shell, silver, how nice of them to take the time to make the handles decorative before they begin stabbing you and draining the blood out of you. Thanks, Doc.
And what doctor’s office would be complete without LEECHES. We all knew this was coming, didn’t we?
In an almost comically counterintuitive move, the doctor also had a tool called a cautery to STOP bleeding. What kind of foolishness would make him do that?
And the horror continues in the amputation department of our hospital. Yeesh. Again with the helpful illustration. I can only imagine medical school. The text books. The class work. How many student doctors made it through the lectures? Good grief, I’m not sure I’m going to make it through this blog post!
Here, handy. A tourniquet. Somehow I always figured they just tied your arm or leg or whatever off like, with a belt or whatever was handy, but NO! They had tools. And here one is.
And there’s more to it. A tenaculum. I’m not even going to comment. If you’re still fully conscious, just read it yourself.
The surgeon QUOTE ‘stands on the inside of the leg while assistant……’ Mary here……my vision is beginning to narrow and it’s like I’m seeing everything through a tunnel. Things are getting dark and fuzzy. Must get…fresh air! Water! I need…water!
A helpful museum employee snapped this picture. I am glad to report that those beds are more comfortable than I feared and the retractors hardly hurt at all. The leeches tickled and they let me keep one for a pet.
But I’m fine and have only a few more pictures to share. I’ve saved the best for last.
The ever popular TREPHINE. Oddly enough the Trephine is not a medical device that has remained well known down through the ages. Note the lower end. The rounded, jagged, circle. Picture it cutting decorative holes in something like, oh, a watermelon perhaps.
Or a skull.
It is for your own good so stop making that awful face. I think it is refreshing that even though it is pretty darned obvious that NO ONE would use a melon hole maker on a human skull unless they really really needed to, even the illustrators are not gonna try to kid you, this is gonna suck.
Just in case you had any doubt.
I’ve got a book releasing next week.
I’d appreciate it if you’d buy a copy. To get one click HERE
So there is medicine in Fired Up, historical medicine. What Old Timey Medicine is your favorite (or most horrifying) treatment?
I’ve got one about maggots I can tell you about!!!
But after 1797, you might have had a scrub board to help you with the elbow grease. It’s said a man invented it, but I have an idea he got the idea from a woman who wasn’t interested in beating those rocks against each other in a cold stream. 
