This is a laid-back post. In fact, if you have a cup of coffee this time of day, go get it and we’ll talk about my morning Hobby? Habit? Obsession? Treat?
My morning habit of drinking a cup of coffee on my back porch.
I’m trying to decide how much detail to go into about my porch.
First, just know that, My Cowboys knee jerk reaction to almost anything is NO.
He says NO first, then maybe later he changes his mind. It’s annoying, at the same time, we’ve been married for…46 years? I think? I’ve found I can’t change him (or myself honestly) so I can at least KNOW HIM.
We spent a long weekend in St. Louis just now.
EXAMPLE
So, I said, “Let’s get some new porch furniture.”
My Cowboy says, “No.”
Usually, I just roll with it. Wait him out. A month later he says yes to most things. Sometimes he thinks it’s his own idea.
EXAMPLE
Mary: “You want to spend the night in Omaha after Christmas?”
My Cowboy: “No.”
Later that day, My Cowboy: “Have you gotten hotel reservations yet?”
See? Standard, 46 years. Mary is a patient woman and often gets what she wants, I’ll admit I don’t want much.
Back to Coffee on the Porch.
I have to admire his stubbornness. And I pride myself on not nagging. I also pride myself on being very kind, and I’ll slap anybody who says I’m not.
So, this time I nag. I REALLY want new porch furniture. Our current porch furniture was two swings. One we bought about 15 years ago. One we got when MCs Mom died, about 14 years ago. They weren’t nice when they were new and now they’re just plain BORING. Plain wood. Scratchy…splintery even.
If I could have done it myself I’d have just bought the furniture. One of those instances when it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission, right?
But there is the HASSLE FACTOR. I’m going to need help carrying this furniture onto the porch. He’s bound to notice while he’s toting a chair up the sidewalk.
I conspired with my children, who are good little co-conspirators, they also know their father.
Mary: “You give me porch furniture for my birthday, I’ll slip you cash…no money trail.”
They were game. Still the HASSEL FACTOR. They offered to come and carry it up but they are busy, it’s kinda hard to plan just when the delivery truck will show up.
He was going to notice, maybe. He walks through the back porch multiple times a day.
Anyway, after about a YEAR, he finally caves. I was more forceful than usual, which is to say I kept ASKING. (okay, nagging, shut up)
So, now he wants to be involved.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
sigh
We shopped. Porch furniture is EXPENSIVE. (although mine wasn’t overly) but it was good to shop. I developed something of a callus on my cheapskate gene. I mean MY GOSH! I found porch furniture with like NINE PIECES for six thousand dollars. Good grief. I have a small porch.
anyway
Every morning, weather permitting, I sit on my back porch with a cup of coffee. I listen to birds chirp. I try to leave my phone inside. If there is a breeze I listen to my windchimes…a gift when my mom died and I think of her with genuine love while I sip my coffee. It’s been a while and the worst of that sadness is past.
I enjoy the flowers. The bouquet (above) sitting on the table is from my daughters when I was sick this spring. The hanging baskets is my usual Mother’s Day gift. Seven hanging baskets of begonias. Every year. For the porch. They have been blooming like mad this year. I like to think it’s because they enjoy my company, but maybe it’s because I’m out there and notice if they need water???
It’s a week for talking about favorite things.
Do you have a favorite spot for drinking coffee? Do you have special morning habits when you don’t have to run in the morning? Do you have tips for handling stubborn cowboys?
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Marshaling Her Heart.
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I don’t drink coffee, but I do have a morning routine. I get up, take care of stuff (start laundry, put away dishes, etc.), then I exercise, eat, get cleaned up, & I’m ready for my day!
Good morning, Ami!!! Sounds like a good, productive morning to me!
My husband and I like to sit on our back deck (weather permitting) with a beverage and share how our day was. It is a great way to unwind.
Deb, I like this. I might start trying to drag My Cowboy out on the porch in the evenings
Laughing at your comments as I, too, have been married a few years. I enjoy our covered back porch in the cool of the morning, but it is open without the nice screen as yours has. The dog likes to keep me company. Pretty furniture you found! I have a number of your books on my keeper shelf and always look forward to your next release!
The screen is nice, heaven forbid there be any BUGS in nature!!!
Good morning, Mary! As I read this I am sipping my morning tea on a couch that really needs replacing. Many years of dogs and day care kids have taken its toll. I may have to slip the kids some cash when my next birthday rolls around! ?
Julia, Hi. Yes, definitely embezzle the money and act surprised. I do know that I can slide a whole lot of money out of our account and, when My Cowboy asks, if my answer is, “Well, it’s a female thing.” ….the questions end and I can get away with most anything.
Ha ha, I’m going to remember that!
I love to have coffee on my balcony and watch the sun come up
Ah, Rhonda, you have a balcony? I love that.
Coffee in the morning with my local newspaper!
Sounds so chill…unless the news is bad!
When I drink coffee I usually drink it looking out the window seeing if I’m lucky enough to see any wildlife
Joanna, I’m pretty much just chirping birds. I did have a dog wander by the other day. Uh, we don’t have a dog.
I have to have coffee as soon as I get up. Usually I watch the news with it.
Hi Cathy, well, after my morning commune with nature, I head for my recllner so that’s where I am now.
sofa
I’m a recliner gal myself. 🙂
I drink tea or cocoa, but never coffee. I sit at the table. I really want an enclosed porch, but haven’t any. I tell my husband what I want and ask him what he thinks and then say think about it for a couple of days to handle his stubbornness. Usually he agrees me a few days later.
When I ask for something, I usually say, “Now don’t just say no when I ask this.”
then he gets snotty and says, “No.” before I ask. He’s kinda a handful.
when it gets cooler I may switch to cocoa.
I don’t drink coffee but I drink my morning drink in my recliner. Most mornings I am heading out fairly quickly so I don’t have time to have a routine unless it’s getting ready for work. I would saw on the cowboy stance would be to keep asking but not in a pestering way
Kerah, oh, I’m so very good at that balance. LOL
Mary – I always have coffee on the deck in the morning unless weather doesn’t cooperate. I enjoy the hummingbirds but now they are bidding me goodbye. I put my robe on and head to the Keurig first thing! It’s ME time. I so look forward to reading the third book! This is a wonderful series! Well done my friend!
Hi Kathy!!! Hummingbirds? I should add a bird feeder I can look out. I think I’ll do this. I used to have a finch feeder.
what happened to that?
I don’t drink coffee, but I do like to go out on the back porch in the morning and look at my flowers. I have several pots. I make sure they are watered for the hot day ahead, and if the porch needs sweeping I do that too, while all the time I am enjoying hearing the birds chirping and just enjoying the morning.
Connie that sounds so nice. I know how to sweep. I might add that to my morning. My flowers rain down faded pedals and I’ve come to enjoy that. but I could clean it up, too.
Up until a few years ago I had to have my morning cup of coffee. I rarely have it now, but still only in the morning.
I usually start my morning at my computer table. I do a bit of Bible reading and then check my emails.
My husband is not stubborn, so I can’t help there. We’ve been married since 1984.
I have ONE cup of coffee a day and don’t care if I miss it. I’m not an addict. diet pepsi though, I go through that way to fast.
I drink my coffee every morning setting at the computer going through emails.
Hi Quilt Lady. I go to the computer next.
Your porch looks like the perfect place to start the day in an atmosphere of calm beauty. I think the furniture you selected is lovely. Looks so comfy and inviting. 🙂 And I think you handled your cowboy exactly right. Ha! I’m not nearly as patient as you when it comes to nagging.
ACE Hardware, Karen. 🙂
Hi Mary,
Coffee outside on a crisp autumn morning is my favorite. The kind where you have to have a blanket or jacket. Beautiful.
And no cowboy yet 😉
I just got the furniture this spring/summer. I think in May.
so fall weather is next up.
I’m a tea gal, but I like it while sitting on the sofa.
Good morning. I drink more tea than coffee.
but I’ve come to enjoy that one cup in the morning.
I drink my coffee every morning while reading my Bible and/or reading one of the ARCs I have.
starting the day with the Bible. I should add that to the porch. Nature, coffee and God. sounds perfect
My morning consists of getting up at 6:30am and then heading to the bathroom to wash face/brush teeth/wake up/normal routine then get dressed and by 7am wake daughter up (16 year old) for school then off to devotions and by 7:40 we are out the door for school. I generally drink a cup of tea at work when I get there. I love your new furniture and can’t wait for the new book.
Atta girl, Naomi.
OMG my Farmer is exactly like that and I have the same problems with him too!! I too involve the kids way more than usual to get things done – he doesn’t tell me no, but just ignores the questions, like he didn’t hear (lol) or that I will go away! And then he too will come up with basically the same idea like it was all his!
OK well, good. I’m not the only one. 🙂
I dont drink coffee. But on colder mornings I will have a lovely cup of tea. I like to sit in my rocker and read my bible. On warmer days I will have a cup of ice tea and read my bible either outside or in same rocker.
My husband will say no often also. And yes being patient is usually the best option. We will be married 40 years mid September. Yes I so agree, half the trick is knowing my man and the half is being patient. Well also there is the fact that I dont want to take advantage of any situation.
quilting dash lady at comcast dot net
Hi Lori. I’m sure our men learn to ‘handle us’ just as much as we handle them. It’s a routine and I have peace with it. 🙂
I love to sit out on my back porch and sip coffee while I read. The breeze is terrific and just the bird noises and the visions of nature, as GOD made some very distinctive and beautiful things, both plants and creatures. I also have a stubborn male partner. He has never been a cowboy and in fact, is not much of a horse rider. he is liable to panic if anything untoward happens. Once we were in Jackson, Wyoming with friends and we took a trail ride. First of all we had to catch our own rides as the stable was short handed. Next my husband was designated to ride the horse which had kicked a lady in the leg the previous day. Also, since they did not know of this horse could be trusted very much they made my husband ride at the end of the line. Next thing that happened is the lady riding in front of me had her saddle slip down the neck of the horse so he promptly threw her off into a bush. she was alright, but this issue had to be taken care of. My female friend who was with us on this vacation was very excited to go riding but it was new to her and with the hilly terrain, she kept reaching out to any nearby tree to help keep her on the horse so she didn’t fall down the mountain. It was a very interesting vacation. I digress. When I want something, it generally also ends with the reply, “no”. Sometimes I buy it and sneak it into the house. What’s a girl going to do anyway?
LOL sounds like you’re lucky to have survived the trail ride.
and yeah, what’s a girl gonna do
Your porch is beautiful! I don’t drink coffee. I sit on our loveseat in the living room with a glass of orange juice and read my emails.
That sounds so civilized, Barbara!
I sit out on my back patio and drink my coffee in the mornings. I can listen to the birds sing, look at the flowers and feel the soft breeze on my face. Doesn’t get any better than that ( unless i have a good book in my hands, too)
Hi Joye! I’ll imagine us, far apart, enjoying nature together.
Working at my desk with my coffee. Watching the birds out my window. Your books bring me SUCH JOY!!
Aw, Jill. THANK YOU SO MUCH!
I have coffee with breakfast, which is after I read my Bible and get dressed for the day. It’s way to hot this time of year to be on my back porch! When FL finally cools off some I’ll be out there. I have two Cracker Barrel rockers (both were on sale after one of our hurricanes years ago!), and a glider rocker.
Trudy are you in the path of the hurricane?
Each beautiful morning I have my tea in the sunroom facing the backyard. Sunshine and warmth are what I crave and the setting is perfect. Your sun porch looks like a wonderful haven.
You have a sunroom? I remember wanting a sunroom. guess what the answer was??? HAH!
I love starting every morning with coffee!
It’s a classic for a reason, Susanne
I enjoy a nice cup of tea on my front porch.
To paraphrase Dracula, I do not drink… …coffee.” I enjoy taking my tea dow to the park and watching the birds in the pond. I have given up on controlling my wife; after 39 years I believe it to be impossible.
Why try to control her. She loves you so you should want her just as she is, right? 🙂 Okay I’ll give up, too. LOL
I’m more of a tea drinker than a coffee drinker. I love Oolong.
Morning walks are my routine before the rest of the city wakes up.
I should be doing that, walking. What’s the matter with me?
If weather is good, I enjoy having my 2nd cup (have first one with hubby) of coffee out on the patio. I have about 18 flower pots of begonias out there, plenty of trees around, and it’s just a comfortable place.
I have begonias, too. They’re a nicely tough little flower and I’m notoriously negligent so I’ve decided they have the best chance of survival in my cruel hands.
I love my coffee in the morning and pray that one day I will again have a lovely place to sit outside to enjoy it every morning. Right now I enjoy it while having devotions at my desk in the motel.
Sounds like your life is in flux, Betti. A motel?
Love your porch 🙂 Our current is east facing also. No better place for breakfast coffee.
I know right? That east porch is much nicer in the afternoon, too. We grill out the back door of it.
I sip tea while reading my devotionals and supervising my daughter’s breakfast.
This post made me laugh. Thank you, Mary! Love your books. ??
thanks, Roxanne. Sounds like you’ve got a great morning routine.
Love your new porch furniture! My morning routine is to go for a walk before breakfast. I check the garden and water my (way too many) flowers. I love your books and have a whole bookshelf full. I can’t wait for this next one! I have loved this series!!
Hi Denise. I could stand to go for a walk. I keep meaning to.
?
My morning routine used to be get up at 6 or 6:30 (because hubby had to leave for work at 7:30 and I had to take care of the dog), eat breakfast (almost always cinammon raisin toast), peruse the internet, maybe write–all in a casual, leisurely way. Now it’s get up at 5:20, wake up my 5 month old grandson, change and feed him, pray that he sleeps for 2 more hours so I can have some quiet before my day gets rolling, eat my cinammon toast, peruse the internet, and listen for a baby waking up.
Adding that grandson to the mix shuffles things a little. I’ll bet he’s a doll.
Shuffle is a good word! He certainly is a cutie.
I have a lovely screened in gazebo that I enjoy quiet mornings in, listening to nature wake up. It’s one of my most favorite places to sit and be still with the Lord.
I WANT A GAZEBO!!! I just love how they look. Let the nagging begin!
I don’t drink coffee very often, but on the days I’m not running off to my substitute teacher job, I have Dr. Pepper (or the cheap Walmart version) in the morning, and I usually drink it in my comfy office chair in my computer room while I check my email and Facebook notifications. I rewind in the evenings by watching veterinarian documentaries on Disney Plus. I had a stubborn cowboy for a father, and he had a hard time saying no when his baby girl gave him sad puppy-dog eyes. Sometimes I had to shed a tear or two. I doubt that advice will help with your husband though!
You’ve learned some handy life skills, Kim. LOL
I don’t drink coffee, but I love sitting outside during the Fall… love the crisp air.
It’s almost time, Colleen. Getting there.
That’s a great porch! I drink my morning coffee in my breakfast room while checking my emails and morning news on the computer.
It is a nice porch. My house is 100 years old now. Yeesh. A little crack-box of a house. But it’s warm in winter and cool in summer and keeps the rain off our heads.
My morning drink is hot chocolate. I drink it at our dining table where I can look out on our fields and watch the birds and this summer lots of kittens. The window is eight feet wide and along with the four feet wide one on the other wall gives us a closed in porch feel especially when they are open to the screens. Your porch looks great! Love your books.
Alice, that sounds so nice. Birds and Kittens and wide windows. I love it.
While I do have a morning coffee routine of sorts, while reading your post, I thought more of the special moments of spending time with people while enjoying a cup of coffee. My favorites are the vacation visits I make to see my Dad where we sit on his back porch drinking coffee, looking over his yard, talking & just spending quiet time together. We take as long as we like & can stand the Texas heat & just relax.
Sarah, that sounds so nice. Here’s some unasked-for advice. Ask your dad questions. I have so many questions I wish I’d asked my dad. About his father, who died before I was born. about Dad’s time in the army and in college. All sorts of things.
I have a blue glider on my front porch that I like to sat on and read books when the weather is good (this will be October through April in Arizona).
My stuff is blue, too, Becky! Porch Buddies!!!
What a lovely Favorite Things topic, Mary!!
Thanks, Pam.
I used to have time to relax in the morning and sit on my deck with a cup of coffee, weather permitting. However, this has been a crazy busy year. So I make my coffee and start by catching up with any needed online business. By then, I’m alert enough for another cup of coffee and my morning devotion. I go for my two-mile walk before it gets too hot and then come home for another cup or two of coffee and breakfast. By this time, I’ve switched to decaf since I drink a pot of coffee each morning. Then I start working on my projects, all interspersed with more coffee.
Janice, My Cowboy drinks a pot of coffee every morning.
I don’t drink coffee but drink plenty of tea and yes I even have a Morning routine and eventually I get some “ME” time to rest.
Book looks and sounds like a good read
Nice to meet you and Welcome.
I’m more of a tea drinker. I’m a particular fan of Oolong
I don’t like coffee, but I have my large bottle of water sitting by my bed in the mornings. 😀 My morning routine has varied over the years. Right now, since I babysit my little cousin every day, my routine consists of him climbing on my bed to have devotions together (learning a Bible verse and having prayer). That’s usually the first three mornings of the week, and on the other two, we read a Bible story book. Many times, I’d rather sleep in, but I know our Bible time together is much more important in the long run. 🙂
that sounds like such a nice morning, Elizabeth. I’m not a big coffee drinker. That one cup in the morning, though, well, its more about sitting on my porch and enjoying the moment.
What I drink with my coffee is another cup of coffee haha…
I guess your husband doesn’t need assertiveness training to learn how to say no. 🙂
Rachel, I think my One Cup routine makes me more the exception than the rule.
Hello Mary, I have to have my coffee as soon as I get up sitting on my recliner watching the squirrels run up the tree! Have a great weekend!
Mary, Love your books and my screened in porch. I have a ceiling fan and fairy lights.
We’ve been married just a bit longer, and some of your conversations sounds like us.
Hope you enjoyed your STL visit.
I don’t drink coffee. A good cup of tea every now and then is my preference- preferably somewhere quiet. I no longer have a morning routine. A rare disease changed my ability to work, so I tend to just go with the flow of others. Crocheting, reading, or planning what I can make next usually has my focus though. I can’t wait for the next book!
I enjoy watching the hummingbirds and Cardinals, Tuffed Titmouse, Blackcap Chickadees, Purple Finches, Doves, and even the pesky Squirrels ?? feeding. I watch through my sliding glass door from my apartment sometimes I sit on my little porch.
Amy! You know birds! I rarely see any birds but swallows and sparrows. i hear a mourning dove most mornings. such a pretty song.
I LOVE the comment that sometimes he even ‘thinks’ it is ‘his’ idea. I have the same strategy with my husband. I plant the idea and then day, weeks, months later, he tells me about ‘his’ idea (which was really mine). I tell him what a GREAT idea. He does know that when I dig my heels in that he might as well cave. What we have to endure!! Love him to pieces though.
You have to be SUBTLE for this to work though. Ask briefly and quietly, then tap out.
One of my favorite things is reading out loud for my husband. Right now we are enjoying Christian mysteries. We tried an Audible book but I like reading myself better!
Debbie, you really do that? It sounds so cool.
what a nice thing to do together
Thank you so much for sharing. I am not a coffee drinker. I love iced tea. My routine includes devotions and Bible reading. God bless you.
When we first moved here our son was in 4th grade. I would sit on the front porch with my coffee while he waited for the school bus at the bottom of our driveway. That was many years ago (he is 41) but it is still a nice spot to sit. I don’t get up that early anymore and miss sitting out there. I will have to stop watching morning news and just out there with my coffee again. It now tends to be the place to sit in the afternoon with a cold drink. There always seems to be a nice breeze out there.
As for handling my “cowboy,” he is pretty amenable and very patient. We pretty much discuss anything major. Only once did I do an end run to get something major I wanted and he didn’t. I had been asking to take a trip to New Orleans and for several years it was a big no, not interested. Then Katrina hit, so I stopped bugging him. When things were opening back up, I asked again – still a big no. I really wanted to go, sooo, I made reservations and gave him the trip for his birthday. He enjoyed it and we have been back twice since. He is talking about going again. As he often says, “It is better to ask forgiveness than permission.” About some things at least.
I love to drink iced coffee while sitting in my recliner in the morning. It gives me a little time to relax before I have to start the day’s work.
I don’t drink coffe but set in my recliner and read my bible and get ready for the day.
I have not tips on how to handle cowboy except to love them. I am in the tea group. I love to sit and drink wherever I can.
If I have time, it’s rare I have my morning Mountain Dew on the deck.
Our front porch is too small to have much on it and our deck needs to be replaced. We’ll downsize in the next few years, so a covered, screened porch is high on my list. A four season room would be even better, since I live in the northern Midwest. We’ll see. I hear you on the hubs saying “no” immediately. He always thinks I have harebrained ideas at first.
Wish I had a porch for good weather times. Not a morning person, but try to read a devotional before checking email or FB. Thank you for the opportunity to win a book that sounds like fun reading.
Hi Mary, Sounds like you enjoy your mornings with your coffee. Hubby & I enjoy, our screened in sun room in the mornings, he has coffee & his paper & me with my tea & a book before we go watch our TV news.
Enjoy your books. Thanks for the chance to win. Have a good Labor Day!!!!
I ever drink tea or coffee. Thance you for the chance
We moved to Harpers Ferry, WV from No. VA where we’d lived for over 18yrs. Object of move – to get us closer to VAMC Martinsburg, WV for my Vietnam vet husband and to be closer to our children so they could help with… Lots of stuff. Ended up buying house where youngest son and family live on main level and, guess what?! we are in the basement, no windows to speak of, door to our level is under the deck thereby blocking lots of light. Anyway, after almost 40 years my husband passed away and I’m still living in the dark like a mushroom, I like to say. Now, yes, I should get off my butt and take my cup of coffee outside, weather permitting, and maybe even up on to the deck. But even though we been here a while, I haven’t yet established this pattern. Normally, you’ll find me in front of the computer… Sighhhhh. ;o)
We recently downsized into a new construction house and my clever husband screened in our big back porch. Only one semi comfortable seating but great plans for as the weather cools. Coffee and my morning devotional time, life is good.