So, this post isn’t book-related, but I couldn’t help myself. And although it happened years ago, I still think about this day often.
Before I get into my little tale, let me start by telling you that I don’t like monkeys. Yes, you read that right, monkeys.
I know people think monkeys are cute and, oh by golly, we send them to the moon and teach them sign language because they are so intelligent. Oh, my stars, how can I not love monkeys? I don’t know how. The point is, though, I don’t like them. They freak me out.
So, with this new-found knowledge of my weirdness, you can imagine how blatantly ironic it is that out of all the homes in this country, I live in one that is one-tenth of a mile away from a monkey rescue reserve.
Oh yeah. It’s true. I can see it from my house.
Don’t get me wrong; I think what this woman is doing is a very commendable thing. She’s giving these animals a good life, taking them in when no one else will. I applaud her for her work, as I am a big animal lover and believe in helping animals. Not to mention, I bought my home knowing about the reserve, so with that, all I can do is accept and respect that it’s there. And that’s what I’ve done. For the most part, I’ve even forgotten about it…well, not entirely forgotten, I mean, they freak me out, remember?
Not to mention, it’s kind of hard to ignore when every now and then I hear a bunch of monkeys screaming, cages start rattling like thunder, men and women start shouting, and then I hear pops of what I assume are tranquilizer guns. And all I can think is ‘OMGoodness, they’ve killed the older woman and are running free, and you know they are going to come straight to my house, because . . . well because I’m crazy!’
Anyway, with that said, I don’t think about it much . . . at least I didn’t until this now infamous one night.
After walking around my entire property looking for my daughter’s miniature horse, I discovered he was missing. While I know the concept of having a horse go missing is quite odd, it’s the summertime, and my horses are out on seven acres of pasture, so some days, unless I catch them heading into the barn to sleep or heading to the water for a drink, I don’t see them all day. After running to tell the neighbor, her husband informs me that he saw a sign propped up at the end of the driveway of the monkey reserve that read “Pony Found”.
At what point do you have to laugh at how karma can mess with you?
So, armed with a rope, we head up to the reserve. At this point, I’m thinking. “I’m okay. She’ll bring Thomas out, and I’ll walk him home. It’s no big deal. I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m okay. All of the enclosures are behind the large wall anyways to detour prying eyes, so I’m sure she’s not going to take me back there. I’ll be totally fine.”
Wrong.
After she greets me at the gate, she motions me to follow her . . . behind the wall . . . into the deepest part of her property . . . THROUGH THE MONKEY ENCLOSURES!!!!
Just before she leads me in through the security gate, she turns to me and says. “Keep your arms down at your sides, okay. And try to keep your distance.” I’m sorry, but I think I just hallucinated. Come again? While I told her. “Okay.” In my head, I’m screaming. “Are you insert a lot of unmentionable words kidding me?” But what can I do? I have to get my pony. My ridiculously stupid pony who will spend all the days of his life on this earth locked up with the goats after this.
She started walking through the enclosures, leading me between several cages that were feet apart. Feet apart, people!!! Some of the monkeys didn’t do anything other than watch me walk by them, but of course, wouldn’t you know some were not happy with my presence. They screamed, hissed, showed their teeth, and worse of all, they reached through the chain-link fencing and TRIED TO GRAB AT MY ARMS AND CLOTHES!!
I think my pony has a death wish . . . it’s the only logical explanation.
So finally, after walking me through more enclosures than I can count, she points me in the direction of a small pasture area, and of course, there is my pony in the far corner…next to another enclosure.
Now granted, I have to give this lady props. The property is quite lovely. The lawn is kept up with; the enclosures are clean, trees are planted everywhere, giving the place a relaxed, lush feeling. It was tranquil…without the screeching from the monkeys, of course.
But back to my story, so as I’m kneeling in front of Thomas, securing the halter on him, about five or six monkeys are mere inches from me, screaming, jumping all over their fence, and reaching through the chain links trying to touch him and me. Of course, he’s not phased. I mean, why would he be? Obviously, he doesn’t mind being around monkeys at all.
Finally, I get the halter on and start leading him out. Well then, of course, all heck breaks loose. Apparently, the monkeys are attached to the little horse, and I’m taking him away . . . I clearly must die . . .
While I made it out safely (albeit left in the emotional state of desiring nothing more than a corner, a blanket, and my thumb to suck on), I suppose all I can do is shake my head and laugh off what will go down as the experience of a lifetime even though I’m still having nightmares.
Now that I’ve shared mine, are there any types of animals that freak you out for one reason or another? Each comment is an entry into a drawing to win ONE of THREE eBook copies of Her Mail Order Mix-up (Brides of Lone Hollow #1). You’re also welcome to join my reader group on Facebook. We have lots of fun there, daily! https://www.facebook.com/groups/4009277229199536
Her Mail Order Mix-Up (Brides of Lone Hollow #1)
Cullen McCray has no desire for marriage and love after the death of his first wife. A self-proclaimed lone wolf, he only wishes to spend his life in his cabin in the mountains, far away from his family’s ranch and his brother. But when Clint dies in an accident, he leaves behind a young daughter and it’s up to Cullen to pick up the pieces to help the girl. The question is can he also pick up the pieces for the woman, whom he knows nothing about, coming to marry his dead brother?
When Maggie Colton steps off the stagecoach in the small town of Lone Hollow, she’s unaware of her intended husband-to-be’s accident. She also doesn’t know about his brother or the condition of the cattle ranch she believed was something other than what it is. Clint hadn’t exactly been honest about everything, leaving Maggie to rough it in an older ranch house, an even older guest house, and a barn that has seen better days. Not to mention hundreds of cattle, dozens of chickens, pigs, horses, and what she is sure is the fattest cat she’s ever seen.
Will Cullen send her back before her bags are unpacked? And if she stays, will Maggie be able to not only win his heart but survive this new life she’s found herself in?
Buy Link
https://books2read.com/u/mdd0ry
Grab the series HERE
I’m an animal lover too, and I’m not easily freaked out. I’ve handled snakes and walked close to tarantulas. I guess, if I had to name one that I might confront in ordinary circumstances, it would be a skunk because I hate their smell.
I came across a mom skunk with babies while on a walk. Oh my, they were adorable!!! And of course, they were walking in every other direction than straight. The poor mom was trying to keep them all rounded up. Cutest thing ever. Even with the smell.
I am not fond of monkeys either. Especially after that one ate the women’s face in Connecticut.
Uh . . . . Now they freak me out even more. LOL I hadn’t heard that story.
Copperheads
Yikes! Agreed. Well, any snakes, but those, yep.
Mice!! I just can’t be around them at all. They totally freak me out.
We get them in the barn. They are cute, but they are so unpredictable and jumpy! I think that’s what gets me. I used to have hamsters growing up. I love hamsters, but the fact that they can bite at any time . . . I hardly handled mine just for that reason. I did have a couple that never bit me. Those were the best ones.
I hate snakes. And, everyone in the neighborhood know when I’ve encountered one! Mice are not my favorite either.
I lifted our hatch to the chicken coop once and as I reached in I noticed a huge snake inside. I’m pretty sure the people who lived in the next town over heard me screaming. LOL. We ended up having to relocate him/her because he/she was stealing all the eggs.
London, your post was hysterical!! Since I got to sort of proof some of your books for you, I can honestly tell everyone here, that they will LOVE your books!! They are so great!! I highly recommend you to one and all! I don’t care for any size spiders and I sure don’t like poisonous snakes, especially if one gets in your house!! I was ready to sell out the one time that happened to us!!
YES! Spiders! They are another one. Even the harmless ones like Daddy Long Legs. No thanks. We get those Garden Orb spiders around the property every year. They are huge! Oh, and tarantula’s migrate through Oklahoma every year. *Shakes as shivers run down my spine.
And thank you for the kind words, Lana! Entertaining readers is always my biggest goal and hope. No matter what. I just want people to enjoy them.
For me it would be snakes, I just don’t like them. I grew up in the country and there were a lot of snakes and to this day I just don’t like them at all even though I know they get rid of a lot of other animals like mice.
Agreed. I don’t like them either.
Spiders and snakes! Huge black spider in bathroom sink yesterday morning! That gets the heart racing!
Thanks to the cats I don’t see as many spiders in my house as I probably could living in the country. But we have them outside and in the barn. Some are like that spider in Harry Potter, I swear. And snakes. Yuck.
I am an animal love also. Oh my goodness, I am in tears. I am sorry, but if you write books the way you wrote this short little piece, I really want to read your books. I love books that bring out humor in life. Since I was born I have been surrounded by animals. I am now 64 and we still have two cats. When we lived in Pasadena, CA we had three cats, a parakeet, too many fish to count both salt water and fresh water, a dog, a mallard duck, an owl, a rat. When we moved to the farm, we had the same animals along with farm animals. I rode a palomino and took a trophy with my cow in AZ, CA NV and then went to national. My whole life we had animals. I learned from an early age not to be afraid of animals but to respect them and learn about them. My daughter wanted to be a tech vet, but she changed her mind. My son is the same with animals. He now has a couple snakes, a grey hound and two cats.
I had parakeets when I was little, but I haven’t had any in a long time. I’ve always loved fish, but being the only one in the house who cleans out the tank is just too much work. Especially with the chickens, horses, and now a cow! Plus the dog and 5 cats. We weren’t supposed to ever have 5, and I can tell you my husband is thrilled, LOL, but we have 5. One goes with our oldest when she moves out. I had the same thing growing up, lots of animals, taught to love and respect them. It’s a lesson I have tried my hardest to instill in my kids. My oldest loves her cat. My youngest wants to own every animal on the planet. Lol
Bats! I lived in a house (5th grade through 12th) that had bats in the basement and in the attic. The night the first one got in we had just gotten home from watching “The Birds”. I become hysterical when a bat is in the house. I also can’t be in a room with a flying bird.
We have a bat barn at our local zoo. I love going in it, but not for the bats. I love going to see the owls. Bats are not one that is high on my list, but they do freak me out too. Only because they are these crazy little flying things and have no concept of control. Lol
Snakes are my biggest phobia. I can’t even look at pictures. I’ll never forget when I was about 7 years old and my mom’s friend let her son (my age) get a pet one. I somehow walked past the cage it was in sitting on the floor next to their front door without noticing it but then they had to show it off and I froze. Could not move at all. Someone had to carry me outside. And I refused to set foot in their house ever again. If we went over, I sat on the porch by myself until we left. The memory still makes me shudder.
It made me shudder!! Lol. I couldn’t have one as a pet. Nope. No, thank you. Not happening. Kuddos to those who love them. That’s just not me. Lol
I’m an animal lover, however I steer clear of snakes.
Agreed. I even get the heebie-jeebies when I see one run over in the road. Even dead they freak me out! LOL
I HATE SNAKES!! they make my skin crawl just to see one on tv or any where else. I have two episodes in my memory banks that come to light to remind me of my paranoia. 1) as a youngster living on our farm I was in the hay mow and reached towards what I thought was a dark rope (which was behind a bale of hay) when the ‘rope’ hissed at me! Needless to say I tumbled backwards and the rest is blacked out. 2) As a young mother I was out near the river with a cousin strolling my young son across some slightly tall grass when I happened to roll said stroller over a (guess what?) a snake!! Again, I remember the incident very clearly to this day but absolutely nothing after. Do you suppose I fainted? Oh well, I do definitely keep my distance at all times and truly wish to NEVER see another snake in my lifetime.
LOL. Reading that I screamed NO, NO, NNNNOOOOOOOO, about ten times. My kids came out to wonder if I was okay. LOL. I came across one in the pasture while I was taking moldy hay out to the burn pile. That was the last time I did that on foot. Now I either use the tractor or the truck. We get them in our chicken coop every year too. It’s so great and wonderful to open the hatch of the coop and see one laying in there just having eaten all the eggs. UGH.
Bahaha! Oh those minis cause so much chaos. We have horses and chickens and it is the mini that keeps us on our toes. I can handle most animals but snakes freak me out. You will hear me scream a mile away if I encounter one.
Oh, good-golly, Susan, this mini of ours . . . he tests me!!
Horses are herd animals. They love their herd mates.
He does not.
He does not need anyone, human or horse. And he loves to leave. If there is a hole even remotely thinks he could squeeze through, he tries. His favorite places are the monkey place and the cop’s house. I don’t know how many times I’ve been on his security camera waving my arms. “I’m not here to rob the place, I’m just here to get my stupid pony!”
I am leery of certain snakes, spiders and scorpions… had a scorpion charge me once… that thing was fast.
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a scorpion. I think I was like 10, maybe younger. They were everywhere when my parents first moved into their house in Nevada. Then it was like “poof” they were gone. But I agree, if I were to see one, I’d be out of there so fast. No thanks.
Only ones that give me the creeps are rattle snakes. I love animals though. What a scary experience for you. Have a great weekend and stay safe.
Oh, yes, growing up in Nevada, I know all about rattlesnakes. Yuck. I hope you have a great weekend too!!
snakes
🙂 Seems to be everyone’s #1. Thanks for stopping by!
I would have to say alligators. There are canals everywhere around here and I have always had a fear of going off the road into a canal infested with alligators.
YIKES! I would fear that too!!! Or them just taking a stroll through my yard. NO thanks! I thought snakes were bad in my pasture, but alligators!! Uh . . .
Loved your story!! I can’t stand rats.
Thank you! I’ve never been fond of rats either. I do like hamsters, though. LOL.
Loved your story, and I feel your pain! I really dislike monkeys too. They’re just creepy looking, loud and they fling poo. I also don’t care for spiders either.
What a great story, London! Well-told and so entertaining. I’m happy you got your pony back – I wasn’t sure you would, for a minute. Ha! (And yeah, those screaming, reaching monkeys would freak me out, too.)
Sorry I missed the giveaway. Spiders are about the only animal that give me the creeps. However, anything that jumps on me unexpectedly is not appreciated. I like the plot of Her Mail Order Mix-up and wish you a successful book release and sales.