The situation in Ukraine is sad and frightening. Images of women in tears break my heart–wives terrified for the husbands they may never see again,
mothers worried about how they will feed their babies as they huddle in cold bomb shelters, countless destroyed buildings with smoke curling in the sky from hurled bombs… It’s been depressing and worrisome for everyone.
The war is out of our control. With the exception of prayers, church services, and financial donations, there is nothing we can do but trust world leaders to make the right decisions. It’s easier to shut off the news than to watch the tragedies, but our worries never go away. Our hearts remain heavy and sad.
JOKES are great mood-lifters. No matter who we are or where we are, they help us feel better.
There are generally five ways to tell a joke:
Little Stories have a longer set-up and are ideal for telling around the campfire, on a road trip, or in a social gathering. Delivery is key – build the suspense! Make your audience wait for the punchline. It’ll be worth the wait.
A man gets his house painted. When the painters are finished, they hand him the bill. He’s surprised to find that they have not charged him for the paint, just for painting.
“You did a great job, but why didn’t you charge me for paint, too?” he asks.
The painter replied, “Don’t worry about the paint, sir. It’s on the house.”
Riddles give you all the clues you need to solve the puzzle. Listen carefully and analyze the words to figure out the answer.
#1. What is often on the ground getting stepped on by others, but you don’t have to wash it because it never gets dirty. In fact, you couldn’t wash it if you tried.
#2. Laura has four daughters. Each of her daughters has a brother. How many children does Laura have?
(Answers below.)
Puns shift word meanings. They’ll use the same word or words that sound very similar.
Did you hear about the new seafood diet?
Every time you see food, you eat it!
*****
Some guy just threw milk and cheese at me.
How dairy?
Tongue Twisters stretch and strengthen your mouth muscles. Actors, teachers, etc., use them to perfect speech and tackle tough pronunciations. They are often silly and always challenging.
If a dog chews shoes, whose shoes does he choose?
*****
How many berries could a bare berry carry, if a bare berry could carry berries? Well, they can’t carry berries, which could make you very wary, but a bare berry carried is more scary!
Knock-knock jokes are likely the most recognizable joke of all. They became popular in the 1920s and are now told all over the world. Their simple format make them easy to remember.
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Thumpin’.
Thumpin’ who?
There’s thumpin’ furry crawling up your back.
*****
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No, thanks. I want almonds.
Are you ready to have some fun? Tell your own Knock-Knock Joke!
You could win a $5 Amazon gift card!
(I’ll pick three winners.)
Ready? Set! LAUGH!
Riddle Answer: #1-Shadow. #2-Five. Each daughter has the same brother.
Pam has written 30 romances, most of them historical westerns, but she's proud of her contemporary sweet romances featuring the Blackstone Ranch series published by Tule Publishing, too! Stay up on the latest at www.pamcrooks.com
#2. Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Fill in the Blank __Lettuce go to Vegas and get married by Elvis.______________
I went a little long.
denise
It wasn’t long at all, Denise. It’s perfect!
(I did edit the blog today but you are still in the drawing.)
Knock Knock
Who’s There
Eggs
Eggs who
Eggscellent visitor
Good one, Debra! I would’ve picked this joke, too!
welcome today. thanks for sharing these fun jokes.
#1 – Eggstra special you are
#2 – Let us sing today
#3 – Two can dance the waltz
quilting dash lady at comcast dot net
Well done, Lori!!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice who?
Candice joke get any worse?
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Oh, that’s a classic. An oldie, but a goodie!
Hahahahaha! That’s really cute, Charlene.
knock knock, who’s there? Hoosier!
Ummmm, Teresa. Is that the whole joke?
Q: Knock, knock. A: Who’s there? Q: Wooden shoe. A: Wooden shoe, who? Q: Wooden shoe like to know!
Hahahahaha! Cute!
Why did the donut visit the dentist? To get a new filling.
Yeah!!
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear.
🙂 🙂 🙂
Why was the bees hair sticky? Because he used a honeycomb.
Cute!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there
Cargo.
Cargo who
Cargo beep, beep and vroom, vroom
Oh, that’s adorable, Quilt Lady!
Knock knock who’s there
emma
emma who
am i going to have trouble with you
Hahaha!
These are fun! I don’t know any jokes, though!
That’s okay! Just read and enjoy what others are submitting!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Arch
Arch who?
Bless you
Another cute one!!! I’m stealing this one, Tonya!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A little old lady.
A little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel! 🙂
I laughed out loud at this one, Colleen! This one’s a keeper!
Knock knock Who’s there : Yellow, yellow who? Knock knock who’s there ? Yellow , yellow who? Knock knock. Who’s. there? Orange, Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say Yellow?
Hahahahahahaha! I can just hear a little kid say this one!
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Boo
Boo who?
Don’t cry its just a joke!
So glad you made it here, Rhonda! Thanks for sharing and giving us another smile.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Wire
Wire who?
Wire you just standing there? Let me in
Another good one!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad for a good joke?
Why, yes, I am!! LOL.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Annie
Annie who?
“Annie thing you can do, I can do better!”
Ha! Good one!
There are some good ones here.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Honeybee
Honeybee who?
Honeybee a dear and open the door, please.
Cute, cute!
Knock Knock. Whose there? Boo. Boo who. You do not have to cry about it.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Armageddon.
Armageddon who?
Armageddon a little bored. Let’s READ!
YEAH!!