We’re doing something a little fun several times through the year. It might be a Craft Project, how we breathe life into a hero, or any number of things. You just never know. We’re sort of calling it Pot Luck. This is my day and I’m going to tell you jokes. Keep your fingers crossed because I’m not very good at this. Hopefully, you’ll find them worth a chuckle.
Okay, here we go……
A man and wife went to their lake cabin for a little R&R. It was a beautiful day and not a cloud in the sky, so the husband decided to go fishing in his rowboat.
After several hours with not much to show, he rowed in and tied up, telling his wife he was going to take a nap.
Now, the wife liked to read romance and she thought how perfect it would be to drift along in the boat. If she got too hot she could take a dip. So she rowed out a little ways from the shore where she could get a nice breeze and picked up her story where she’d left off. The hero cowboy was having a time getting his little darling to the altar.
She drifted along in the little rowboat and turned the pages, totally engrossed.
Pretty soon, a game warden came by and asked to see her fishing license.
“But warden, I’m not fishing. You can see the poles are inside the boat. Besides, I don’t like to fish. They’re smelly and I don’t like touching them. I’m just sitting here reading my book, not bothering one fish or one person.”
The warden looked stern. “That doesn’t matter. You have all the fishing equipment and could put the poles into the water if you choose. I’m going to have to write you a ticket.”
“I protest.”
“Then I’m afraid I’ll have to take you to jail, ma’am.”
“Let’s make it the sheriff’s office, warden. I’ll need to file a complaint.”
“May I ask what your business is? I’ve been as polite as I can and I’m following the law.”
“The charge will be for sexual assault.”
“You’re crazy. We’ve done nothing but talk. You still have your clothes on.”
She smiled sweetly. “But I’m sorry, Warden, you have all the right equipment.”
Flustered, he threw his ticket pad down. “Have a nice day, ma’am, and continue reading your book.”
* * * * * * *
What Do You Call a Happy Cowboy? (a jolly rancher)
Why Did the Bowlegged Cowboy Get Fired? (he couldn’t keep his calves together)
* * * * * * *
I hope you got a chuckle or two. I’m giving away one early copy (autographed) of A COWBOY OF LEGEND. It doesn’t come out until April 27th so you’ll be ahead of the game. I’ll draw from the people who comment and the Giveaway Rules apply – https://petticoatsandpistols.com/sweepstakesrules/.
Just tell me what makes you laugh. Or tell me a joke. I love to laugh.
Here in the Texas Panhandle, we do love our cowboys. There's just something about a man in a Stetson and jeans that makes my heart beat faster. I'm not much of a cook but I love to do genealogy and I'm a bit of a rock hound. I'm also a NY Times & USA Today bestselling author of historical western romance. You can contact me through my website and I'd love to connect with you on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and more. HAPPY READING!
https://petticoatsandpistols.com/sweepstakesrules/
That’s a great fish tale.
When we go to my husband’s uncle’s place on the lake, his uncle only gets one day-license. The guys only do catch and release–nothing big comes close to the dock, anyway. But, if he suspects the warden is in a boat, he makes all the guys sit on the bank. I just give them snacks and go back to reading my book on the porch swing.
denise
Good morning, Denise. How funny. I guess men are all alike. Us ladies do like to read and the porch swing sounds like a lovely place for it. Thanks for coming.
Hahaha! You definitely gave me a couple chuckles!
I am drawing a blank on a good joke!!! Lol
Ooh and I just want to say that this book is phenomenal. I absolutely loved it!
Good morning, Dale! I’m so happy to see you. That’s okay on the joke. I’m terrible about remembering the ones I hear. It’s a miracle I remembered this one that a writer told me. I’m so happy you liked Deacon and Grace’s story. It makes me want to write harder. Love you.
Those were cute Linda:
A little boy told his friends:
“So today at church a man in a suit try to drown me, I kid you not my family just stood their and smiled!”
What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu? One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment.
I hope you have an amazing Tuesday, love you.
Good morning, Miss Tonya! Love those jokes. Thanks for the laugh. It’s good to start the day lighthearted. You have a very blessed day and no matter whether you’re inside or out, find something to laugh about. I love you dearly, sister friend. 🙂
Linda, I got way more than one chuckle, even a full blown laugh. I love laughing. So this is one of those “Oh, no” then laugh out loud. This is a true story. I was helping to edit a thesis for a college student. I was a little surprised when I read one sentence. I was sure she meant public, but thanks to spellcheck, she ended up with pubic. Was she glad that error was caught.
Good morning, Cricket! Wow, it’s sure great to see you. How funny about that spellcheck error! Oh my gosh, that would not have been good. I’ve had more than one embarrassing incident when spellcheck changes a word. Crazy. I hope you have a lovely day, dear friend. We should get together and have a laugh-a-thon. I laugh all the time. It just makes me feel good.
Good Morning MS. Linda! Your jokes were awesome! Do you have any about cooking/kitchen etc you can send me?
Here’s a couple: Why wasn’t the cooking joke funny? Because it didn’t pan out
Did you hear about the pasta and its cooking water? Their relationship was strained.
What if Cinderella was a cooking slave instead of a cleaning slave? Her name would be Mozzerella
Now who is worse at jokes? ?
HaHa! I love these, Stephanie! I’ve never heard any cooking jokes before so this is a first. Thank you for the laughs. I know I’ve heard a million that start, “Two men go into a bar…..” But remembering them is impossible. I hope you find lots of laughter throughout your day. I love you dearly.
It’s too early for me to think of a joke. But, yours started my morning off with a smile.
Looking forward to A Cowboy of Legend.
Good morning, Alisa! I’m so glad I could give your day a good start. I’m always finding a lot to laugh about. My mom was like that so I guess I took after her. I hope you enjoy this book when you get a chance to read it. I put a monkey named Jesse James in the story that will crack you up. Sending love and hugs.
That’s pretty funny. I’m not good at telling jokes. I googled some jokes, so here goes.
What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of their paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
HaHa! That’s good, Janine! And it fits with you being a cat lover. 🙂 Thank you for the chuckle. I’ll try to remember it. Have an amazing day and find lots of laughter.
I love to watch Funniest Home Videos, there’s nothing funnier than see the things that can go wrong when you least expect it. Plus the pets are hilarious ?
Good morning, Rose Ann! I’m so happy you stopped by. I agree about Funniest Home Videos. I love the ones with kids and animals. It doesn’t take much for me to laugh. I usually find a lot of funny things as I go through my day. I hope you do too. Love you, lady.
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last-minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.
As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about , ‘What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I’m not reheating it’. And on and on and on.
Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.
While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband’s client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight. Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had; she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.
As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.
‘They’re not hanging Wright tonight,’ she said.
He whirled around and screamed, ‘FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON’T YOU EVER STOP?’
Oh my goodness, Debra! This made me laugh so hard. Thank you. I’ll have to remember this. It’s too funny. Here’s one I heard not long ago….A woman got out of the shower and was putting lotion on when she heard the doorbell. Her husband was in the middle of an important Zoom meeting and hollered at her to answer it. She threw a towel around her and opened the door to see the neighbor guy. He leans against the door facing and says, “I’ll give you $500 to drop that towel.” She thought of what she could buy with that and promptly drops the towel. He gives her an appreciative glance, pays her and leaves. Her husband finishes up his meeting and asks who was at the door. She told him the neighbor. The husband asks, “Did he pay you the $500 he owes me?”
Have a good day and keep the laughs going.
LOL this hits home as here in Indiana I am the office manager for the “Game Wardens”!! And I know lots of stories, but can’t tell them!
Hey, Miss Teresa! I’m so happy you came. Huh-oh! Yes, I imagine my joke did hit close to home. I wish you could tell your stories. Bet those wardens see some funny and not so funny things. Have a wonderful day and try to laugh as much as you can. Keeps us young.
Fun jokes, Linda!
Hey, Jess! Thanks for coming over to laugh. We can always use one. Have an awesome day and kiss that sweet baby for me.
Cute jokes a great way to start the day off. I haven’t been fishing in years but use to go all the time.
What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
Hi Quilt Lady! Great to see you. Love your jokes! I’ll have to remember these. Have a beautiful day and laugh all you can. It sure does help. Love you, lady.
No jokes come to mind but yours was a good one. Thanks for the laugh!
Hi Melanie! I’m so happy you came. We’re old friends by now. Glad I could give you a laugh. Sometimes we simply need one.
Started my morning right with a good laugh. : )
I’m really glad I could, Miss Kay. 🙂 Love you.
I like to watch info commercials when they are trying dvds from the carol Burnett or the tonight with Johnny Carson
Hi Jcp! Some of those commercials always make me laugh. Geiko has some funny ones and those Duluth ones double me over. Especially the men’s underwear ones. I loved Johnny Carson and Carol Burnett both. Such great stuff. I hope your day is filled with laughter.
You helped me start my day off with a laugh, the best way to start!! Thank you !! Loved them!! ?
Hi Shaun! Thank you so much for coming and getting your laugh. We need that like the desert needs rain. 🙂
What makes me laugh with joy is hearing my grandchildren laughter as they play.
I totally agree, Charlene. That sound fills my heart with joy. Thank you for coming. Try to find laughter through your day.
Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women believe that giving birth must be way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
Well, I have come up with the answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason.
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, “It might be nice to have another child.”
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, “You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts.”
Oh my gosh, Mary!! This is hilarious. No, you will never hear a guy say that. Never! Have you ever heard the one about the old woman prospector and the mule? She came into town one day and tied up at the saloon. A young gunslinger came out twirling his pistol and asked the woman if she liked to dance. She told him she’d never danced. Feeling rather confident of himself, he began shooting at her feet. Not wanting to get a toe blown off, she began to hop around. He finally emptied his pistol and put it away then turned to walk back into the saloon. The old woman went around the mule and reached for her double-barrel shotgun. Loud clicks filled the street when she pulled the hammers back. Not moving a muscle, the gunslinger stared at those barrels pointed at his chest. The woman’s voice was quiet. “Have you ever licked a mule’s rear, Sonny?” He swallowed hard and barely got the words out, “No ma’am…But I’ve always wanted to.”
Have a good day, Mary!
Linda, Thank you for brightening my day. The JOY of the Lord is our strength!
Hi Caryl! I’m so glad you came over. I hope you find lots of laughter and joy as you go through your day. I do believe God wants us to laugh. 🙂
At the end of a long, exhausting day, a woman dragged herself upstairs to get out of her work clothes. Stripped down she caught sight of herself in the mirror and was horrified to see how old she’d gotten.
Deeply depressed, her husband came into the room and she said, “I can’t believe how old I feel. Saggy belly, wrinkled, my hair is gray, dark circles under my eyes, Can you please, please tell me something about myself that isn’t just awful right now?”
After a moment’s consideration, her husband said, “Well, your eyesight is working perfectly.”
Too, too funny, Mary! I love this. 🙂
The picure of the ape is awesome, My gt grandkids call me a monkey everytime they see one on tv they start the monkey noise. My husband told his kids he found me hanging from a tree by my tail. And they never let it go. It is a big joke
Hi Emma! How wonderful to see you! That’s funny. You’ll really enjoy this new book. I put a monkey in it and he cracks me up. Have a lovely day and find some laughter whatever you do.
I love to laugh with children. They can do things and say things that will knock you off of your feet, with a huge smile and a few words or acts they can really make me smile and laugh. I have 6 grown up children, grand children and a great grandson (al- though he is only one month old) and I was an elementary school teacher and what kids can say surprises and makes me laugh even remembering them after all of these years can instantly bring a smile or a huge laugh and simply makes my day.
Hi Nancy! I agree. I love listening to kids because you never know what will come out of their mouths. The comedian Art Linkletter used to have a TV show called Kids Say the Darndest Things and some of the stuff they said cracked me up. I miss shows like that. I hope you find lots of laughter as you go through your day. It’s better than medicine.
Good Morning, yes, I loved your jokes! My 12 yr. old grandson keeps me laughing, he loves to tell jokes. “What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed?” (Oh Sheet) What did the princess say when she went to pick up her photos at the print shop and they weren’t ready? (Someday my prints will come) Have a Great week and stay safe. Thank you for the laughs. 🙂
Hi Alicia! Great to have you stop by. I’m glad I could give you a laugh. Love your one-liners! I needed the laughs myself. I hope you find a more laughter as you live your day. We certainly need all we can get.
Good morning, Linda! I love good, old fashioned corny jokes like these, but my weakness is puns. I am so bad (and my puns are so bad) that my family just groans when I open my mouth. Every morning my husband and I have “coffee time” where we talk, share things from the news (mostly sports, less stressful 🙂 ) and funny stories and jokes. I will share today’s column. Can’t wait for A Cowboy of Legend. Take care and stay safe.
Sally, I’m so glad you enjoyed it and could share with hubby. Puns are fun but I’m no good at them. I hope you like the book when you get a chance to read it. I’ll have another giveaway in April. Thanks for coming.
Hi, Linda. This was a fun post! I am so eager to read a Cowboy of Legend. I forgot to disqualify myself yesterday from the giveaway when I posted my comment. You’ve become one of my auto-preorders, so I should be getting my copy on release day if Amazon comes through! Have a wonderful day.
Oh that was great! Thanks for giving me a huge smile!
Colleen, I’m glad you enjoyed the lighthearted post and got to smile. I always love seeing you.
I enjoyed your joke about the fishing boat. Usually I laugh at the way children behave or what they say. It can be hilarious to listen to children!
I agree, Karen. children are such fun to be with. I love just sitting and listening to them. Thanks for coming.
Nice idea to change things up and have Pot Luck. A little surprise every so often is good for the soul. Your post today was perfect. Humor is an important part of life and we too often don’t take the time to indulge in it. It is also something that I find important in the stories I read. Especially when circumstances are dire, humor, sometimes dark humor, helps us to get through it. When hard times hit, “grin and bear it” is often the best route to take.
Thanks for the smile for the day.
Hi Pat, you’re so right. Even in dark times, we have to find something to laugh about or we’ll go crazy. I remember a few days after my husband died we sat around just laughing hard at anything and everything. I really needed the release that laughter provided. Love you, lady.
How funny, Linda! Love it. Hope you have a wonderful day, big hugs, Phyliss
Of course, I’m sure you recognize it, Phyliss. It’s the only one I could remember. Thanks for coming.
Thanks for the laughs today, Linda. Laughter keeps us young and helps us get through stressful times. My granddaughters bring lots of laughter into my life. They are both 2 years old (2 months apart), and they are such a hoot!
Cheryl C, keep those granddaughters handy. Kids are hilarious. Thanks for coming.
Lol Thank you so much I needed that laugh today Have a Blessed Evening and keep the jokes coming! I Loved it!
Sarah, I’m so happy you came over and glad I could give you a laugh.
I loved that joke! I’m a TERRIBLE joke-teller. I mess it up someway every time! My late brother-in-law, my husband’s older brother, was a truck driver for most of his life. He knew endless jokes and he had “a way” of telling them that was hilarious. He never forgot a punchline–not once–in the entire time I knew him through the years. This is a great one, Linda. I’m late getting over here today, but I sure am glad I got to read this and get a laugh–I needed it! LOL XOXO Love you, girl.
Cheryl, I’m glad I could give you a laugh. I’m really bad about remembering them after I hear one. Even if I really like it, it goes right out of my head. Have a wonderful day, my Filly sister.
ok, i got one for you. What do you call a teacher who won’t fart in her classroom? A private tutor. ………. HEHEHE lol get it toot toot
Elaine, that’s too funny!! I love it. Thanks for coming.
Ha! Ha! I LOVE that one!! She was absolutely right too. Thanks for the chuckle!