A size 11 woman’s foot never looks good in cowboy boots, trust me on this. So when Boot Scootin’ came up as a topic, I panicked. But then Pam Crooks set off bells in my head – there’s more than one kind of boot. Sadly, my kind aren’t cute, or sexy.
First, let it be known right up front, I’m a klutz. I admit it. Nothing to do but laugh at myself. I’m also an adventurer – I push the envelope on a routine basis.
The two together? Recipe for disaster.
You know those boot-casts they put you in nowadays? Yeah, I’ve been in those as best I can remember, FOUR times.
The first was a freak fly fishing accident. I’ve got a bad knee from a motorcycling accident (Oh, make it 5 incidents-was in a boot from ankle to hip, that time) and the knee gave out on a hill. I felt the bone snap, but was in denial, and had my girlfriends haul me down to the jacuzzi on the luggage cart (wine may have been involved – but only as a painkiller).
The good thing about that, was I had tickets to the PBR Finals in Vegas the next week, and no way I was going to miss it. So we rented a wheelchair. The handicapped entrance was right next to the bull riders’ locker room. I call that a score!
Then I had two separate foot surgeries, right after the other. Between the two, I was in a boot for a year. My neighbor broke his ankle in a freak golf accident (yeah, two klutzs in the same neighborhood-what are the odds?) We used to race our knee scooters on the sidewalk.
Then came the one that had zero humor. I was out fly fishing in the back of beyond, Oregon, stepped in a hole with a branch across it, and snapped both bones in my lower right leg. Thank God there was cell service – I called 911 – a sheriff’s deputy zeroed on in the signal and found me about a 1/2 hour later. Problem was, it was an area of mud and downed trees – no way to get a stretcher to me – someone else would’ve broken their leg.
So everyone stood around (by then a few locals heard the yelling and stopped by) chatting about what to do (not me, I was the one doing the yelling). They finally came up with the idea of bringing a boat down the river, loading me on, and taking me to the ambulance waiting at a boat ramp. So that’s what they did.
Then it was just 30 minutes on a dirt road (I felt every rut) and another 15 min to the hospital – all in all I think it was 2 hours from when I broke it until I got good drugs at the hospital. I was so happy I asked the doctor to marry me.
Surgery, a plate, 13 pins and a wire later, I was back together. The doctor released me two days later, but wouldn’t let me fly for another week. An angel stepped in – a lady I’d worked with years before lived in the area and gave up her BED to me for a week!
That was it. I learned my lesson. No, I’m still riding motorcycles and fly fishing, but I’m being veeeeeery careful, now.
Oh my, you have certainly had your run of accidents.
I broke both bones in my ankle one time and so I certainly imagine Your pain and suffering.
I hope your bone breaking days are over.
Sorry for YOU, Tonya! Joints are harder to heal. And I wish I didn’t know that. Best to you!
I hate those boots, especially having to sleep in one. I was in one for 6 weeks after tripping over a cat and breaking my foot.
OW! The only thing that would be worse, Estella, is the old-fashioned plaster cast!
Not on wood but I have never had to wear a boot from a broken bone but its always the arms that got me. I had a car accident and broke my left arm and dislocated my right should at the same time. It was a year getting over that because the left arm was broken so bad. They finally done surgery and I got the use of it back. Now arthritis has set in so I have to deal with that now.
Oh I’m so sorry! You can stay off your feet, but you can’t not use an arm and shoulder!
You are amazing! All that you have been through & you still had a smile on your face in all the pictures! Just think of all the good material you accumulated for your books! Love your sense of humor ! Stay safe in the future!
When you’re a klutz as bad as I am…better to smile than cry!
Wow, Laura. You’ve really collected some stories the hard way. Love the scooter race with your neighbor. 🙂 Thankfully, I’ve never had to wear one of those boots, but my mother-in-law recently sported one for several weeks after ankle surgery. She was more than ready to get it off when the time came.
I’m with her there!
Hmmmn, I’m hoping to schedule foot surgery before the end of the year and your boot stories are making me nervous!
Carrie – It’s a pain, but doable. My office was upstairs and I’d scoot up on my rear, then I had crutches upstairs – the kneeling scooter downstairs. Highly recommend you buy/rent one of those – ONLY way to do grocery shopping!
I definitely call it a win that the handicap entrance was next to the bull riders’ locker room. I’m kind of a accident prone too.
It was awesome, Janine!
Oh, Laura…I felt your pain–well, no, I can’t possibly feel it like you did, but I was cringing when I was reading. You made me smile about the handicap entrance being close to the bull riders’ area, though! That was surely a silver lining! You live a daring life, my friend!
I’m an organ donor, but I figure no one will want anything by the time I’m done with them – I’ve used them all up! But that’s a good goal – shows you’ve lived!
I broke my right wrist, and I’m right handed. I’m now ambidextrous! I had a plate and an external fixator, then had to re-break and re-plate. Then, I had to have it fused, and then we went back in and took the hardware out. My first surgery on it was July of 2002, and the 5th and final surgery was October of 2012. Thankfully, I haven’t been in a boot!
Oh I don’t know, I don’t think I’d trade places, Trudy!
I can say it’s not fun to wake up with that external fixator attached, for sure! The boot’s probably easier to get used to!
Sounds Medieval!!!
I am a klutz, but thankfully have only broken a toe. With all the times I have fallen – up stairs, down stairs, off ladders, hiking, walking on a flat surface, one motor bike accident, and climbed 2 active volcanoes – I must bounce really well. Being shorter and rounder might help. Do be careful. You certainly don’t need any more incidents. At least try to keep your fly fishing to easily accessible areas. And do be careful when racing knee scooters. With your track record, I can envision a crash and another limb being injured. Take good care of yourself, stay safe and healthy. (My standard COVID ending, which seems more appropriate here than ever.)
Being a fellow klutz, I know you understand, though you’re obviously an amateur compared to me! 😉
Wow, the way your described your breaks , had me hearing the snaps! Thank goodness, (knocking on wood) I have never had a broken bone! I have heard it can be pretty painful especially the surgeries. My son in law had an ankle replacement and my mom had a knee replacement, that’s the closest I have been to bone surgeries and hoping and praying that’s the closest I am to any. Take good care of yourself my friend. Have a Great rest of the week and stay safe. God Bless you and your family.
So happy you haven’t had to deal with it, Alicia! Actually, breaking a bone is easier than dealing with a joint like an ankle – but granted, the hardware made it more complicated. I can tell when the weather is changing!
My son had a similar boot when he broke his foot during his first year in college. He lived on the third story of a “castle” with no elevator–they were in the process of renovating the 19th C building. He refused to move out and did all those steps, which included galleries on each level, on crutches every day.
denise
Ugh, you reminded me of when I tore tendons in my ankle in college – crutching to Nursing classes…Ace bandages in those days – no boots! Ah, youth.