I tell you what. The news these days is a real downer. Between Covid, violent protests, riots, political bickering…it all makes me want to throw the television across the room and hide my electronic devices under the couch cushions.
Enough already!
Sure makes me wish for simpler times when we didn’t have such easy access to social media, endless replays, and too much journalism that is more about the ratings than it is the truth.
We all need to laugh more. Science says it’s good for our mental health. We all know it’s good for the soul, too.
Here are some cowboy funnies that will brighten your day. At least, they did mine!
The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.”
The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge.
The usher became more impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there, I’m going to have to call the manager.”
The cowboy just groaned.
The usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment, he returned with the manager. Together, the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.
The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy, What’s your name?”
“Sam,” the cowboy moaned.
“Where ya from, Sam?”
With pain in his voice Sam replied…. “The balcony.”
Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church.
“When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,” Joe began.
“You mean the parking lot,” interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow.
“I walked up the trail to the door,” Joe continued.
“The sidewalk to the door,” Charlie corrected him.
“Inside the door, I was met by this dude,” Joe went on.
“That would be the usher,” Charlie explained.
“Well, the usher led me down the chute,” Joe said.
“You mean the aisle,” Charlie said.
“Then, he led me to a stall and told me to sit there,” Joe continued.
“Pew,” Charlie retorted.
“Yeah,” recalled Joe. “That’s what that pretty lady said when I sat down beside her.”
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
“Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked.
“Well, I can think of one thing,” the cowboy offered. “On a trip to the Big Horn Mountains out in Wyoming, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. Then I yelled, ‘Now, back off or I’ll beat you all unconscious.”
Saint Peter was impressed. “When did this happen?”
“Couple of minutes ago.”
The only good reason to ride a bull is to meet a nurse.
Nature gave us all something to fall back on, and sooner or later we all land flat on it.
Don’t squat with your spurs on.
Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
I hope you enjoyed reading these as much as I enjoyed finding them!
Even more, I hope I’ve uplifted your day. There’s nothing like a cowboy and his humor, that’s for sure!
Does all the bad news drag you down, too?
Do you have a favorite joke or funny story to share?
If not, that’s okay. Just let me know that you’re smiling, and your day is now brighter, and my day will be brighter, too!
Pam has written 30 romances, most of them historical westerns, but she's proud of her contemporary sweet romances featuring the Blackstone Ranch series published by Tule Publishing, too! Stay up on the latest at www.pamcrooks.com
Goodness gracious, that baby holster. For a second, I thought it was a bad book cover. I did a double take to make sure I wasn’t insulting anyone.
Q: What do they call cowboy Santa?
A: The jolly rancher
Good morning, Denise! The baby holster – I know, right? I had to look again, too, but the baby seems happy and comfortable! I think it would be hard for anyone to walk with that much weight against their hip, but the get-up is unique!
Love your joke!!
Love the baby holster that put a smile on my face.
Me, too, Kim! It’d be real easy to keep an eye on that baby. And I was thinking it’d be easy to get the baby in and out of the holster, too. So as unusual as the it is, the holster has its positives!
They did put a smile on my face and I could use. The new has been depressing.
Very depressing, Debra. With no end in sight. While I understand the news stations have to report news even when it’s troubling, I truly feel they need to do more feel-good, positive segments. How about 50% good news, 50% bad news? Seems fair to me!
I enjoyed the jokes. The news and social media has really gotten me down too.
Somedays, Janine, I just have to walk away from it. Turn everything off. The news gets repeated and repeated, I won’t miss anything anyway.
Glad you enjoyed the cowboy jokes! Now you’ve started your day on a happy note, right?
I enjoyed your jokes, we all needed them. We are all tired of hearing about all that is going on right now so anything new helps.
I totally agree, Quilt Lady. We’re tired of it. There’s so much good in the world that gets overlooked and too much focus on the bad.
At least you’ve started your day on a happier note!
Oh yes, I don’t read the news too much anymore. Someone will just tell me what’s going on anyways! These were funny! Thanks for a good post.
Good morning, Susan P! Yes, we can’t escape the bad news, and all of it is out of our control.
But we can control our happiness, and clever humor is a good start.
Enjoy your day, dear!
Such a great lift of the spirits today, Pam. Thank you! I loved the ranch dressing and that baby holster was hysterical. Though I think you’d have to have twins to be balanced. Ha!
I never thought about that, Karen. LOLOLOLOL. Yes, I’d need another baby, too!
Hahahahaha!
These definitely or a smile on my face. Theresa just way too many negative things going on right now. I try not to watch the news anymore. I take it and fast forward to the weather most of the time. Or government officials act more like little children than the adult role models they’re supposed to be. Here’s a link to some funny cowboy jokes. Enjoy! https://www.best-funny-jokes.com/images/jokes/funnyjoke3291.jpg
I actually pasted the link to only one joke. Here is the link to read more cowboy jokes. ?
https://www.best-funny-jokes.com/cowboy-jokes
Agree about the government officials!!! But that’s a discussion for another day, right?
I enjoyed reading the list of jokes, Theresa. Thanks for passing them along.
I admire anyone who can think up these funny lines and stories. They’re so clever!
Hi Pam, thank you for the laughs. It’s what we all needed. Loved the baby holster!
Coming from the Queen of Funny here at P&P, I’m especially glad you enjoyed the laughs, Margaret!!
Thank you making me smile AND laugh-out-loud!
Awww, that makes me happy, Connie.
Thank you for the laughs. I’ve been trying to stay happy and positive. Any body can walk around sad and grumpy. I’m too blessed to be stressed.
I’m too blessed to be stressed . . . love, love this!!!
Thanks for sharing, Sandra!
Pam, Thank you for a smile to start my day. My husband keeps the TV on the news channel all day and half the night. No wonder he is getting grumpy. If I am inside, it goes to the Weather Channel ( odd that news about flooding and tropical storms and hurricanes is an escape from bad news) or Hallmark, or gets turned off. Luckily we are doing a lot of yard work right now, so are spending much of the day into the evening outside in peace and quiet. It is truly discouraging how things are going today. I have been self-isolating for health reasons, and except for a quick trip to a nursery to get bedding plants, I haven’t left home and yard since March 11…and have no desire to. No cowboy humor to share. I will just enjoy what others have shared and share it with my husband. I liked the one about the cowboy at the pearly gates who confronted the bikers and relate too much to the cartoon of the old cowboy and the saddle.
Stay safe, healthy, and keep up your sense of humor.
What a blessing, Patricia B, to be content in your own home for so long. Many would go stir-crazy. Just goes to show you have a happy life and the things most familiar to you give you comfort.
And it truly is therapeutic to work in the yard and garden. I actually look forward to pulling weeds! The ground looks fresher and the plants look loved and cared for.
Ha! I know what you mean about being forgetful. There are days I worry about myself!!
Pam, these were all wonderful–made me laugh out loud. I don’t have any jokes–I think I have “joke deafness” because I hear jokes and get a kick out of them, but I can never remember them to re-tell them, and I do not have a good “way” with joke-telling. My brother-in-law was a truck driver for many, many years, and he never stopped with the jokes–he knew a million of them and could remember every one, and tell them in such a great way–kept everyone laughing. Like Patricia, my hubby keeps the news or the Weather Channel on constantly. I’m so glad I have my office at the back part of the house. LOL Hope you and yours are staying safe. This post of yours was a day-brightener, for sure!
Oh, I’m with you, Cheryl!! I envy someone who can tell a good joke. To be able to remember the words, the punch line, to get the inflection in the voice just right – it’s a gift! And it makes one the life of the party, too. LOL.
So glad I could brighten your day, Cheryl, dear. Thanks for stopping by.
Than you so much Pam, you really made my day even brighter, I loved them all and they made me laugh, Thank you so much. Have a Great day and stay safe. God bless you and your family. I have this riddle, “What did the small grape say when it got crushed?” It didn’t say anything, it just gave a little wine. 🙂
I loooooooovvve this sweet little riddle!!
Hahahahahahahahaha!!
So cute! You made MY day brighter, Alicia!
Hey Pam, Thanks for brightening my day!
You are so welcome, my dear.
I went from crying earlier to smiling and laughing now, so I guess that’s a good thing.
Ooh, I’m so glad, Linda. Hugs to you, and I’m hoping you’re feeling even better by the time you read this.
Thanks Pam. You got a few smiles with this post and that’s just what I needed today. It can be hard to live a fulfilling daily life and not compare myself to all the “pintrest moms” and their over ambitious projects. It’s also hard not to get sucked into the sadness and pain others are suffering right now. Especially when we can’t leave our home. So thanks again for the smiles today.
Naomi, we can only do so much. I think we women tend to put way too much pressure on ourselves, and it’s hard for us to do only what we can, what we enjoy, and what we need, and then just walk away from the rest. Including the depressing news.
I often tell myself there is ALWAYS someone who has it worse than I do. Always, always.
I’m so glad you enjoyed the silly cowboy jokes. Hugs to you!
Welcome. Thanks for sharing these funnies. I dont watch too much tv about the news. My husband fills me in on what he thinks I should know, or he talks and I hear it all. I want to lean on the Lord for everything. Sometimes with all that is going on, it is difficult. I cant think of a joke off hand.
Leaning on the Lord gives us strength. He’ll never abandon you. You’re smart to filter the unpleasantness of today’s news through your husband. It’s a good way to cope.
Glad you enjoyed my cowboy funnies!!