Have you ever strolled through a cemetery and noticed a few (or a lot!) coins left on a monument?
Of course, it’s not unusual for loved ones and friends to leave sentimental items like a can of Dr. Pepper, a travel-size bottle of spirits, stones, a cross, and of course, flowers.
But money?
When we noticed several coins last year that had been glued on a headstone in our family’s cemetery, we found it odd. Turns out, those coins have deep meaning, and if you see any, it’s very likely the headstone belonged to a member of the military.
Those coins are a sentimental gesture, not only from the person who left them, but to the family of the service member as well. It shows that others have been by to pay their respects, and they are showing great pride in someone who is no longer with them.
Per the Department of Military Affairs, the custom began during the Roman Empire when coins were placed in the mouths of soldiers for protection and payment into the world of the dead. Here in the US, the custom especially grew in popularity during the Vietnam War, which of course was a controversial war. Leaving the coins was a quiet way to honor and respect the fallen soldiers.
As you might guess, those coins are not left behind randomly. Each one has special significance.
A penny means that a person has visited the headstone and is showing gratitude for the deceased’s service. There is no stipulation on who should leave the penny. Anyone can.
A nickel means that the visitor had once attended boot camp with the deceased.
A dime signifies that the one who left it served in the military with the deceased.
A quarter – and this one is especially moving – means the visitor had been with the soldier when he or she passed away.
Wow.
With Memorial Day only a couple of weeks away, now you know why those coins are there, and if you’re like me, you’ll be especially moved by the gesture. They are a lovely way to show thanks for service and friendship – when the service member cannot hear us say the words.
Have you ever seen coins on a headstone?
Have you or a child left a memento on a loved one’s grave?
What is the most unusual or moving thing you’ve seen on someone’s grave?
Pam has written 30 romances, most of them historical westerns, but she's proud of her contemporary sweet romances featuring the Blackstone Ranch series published by Tule Publishing, too! Stay up on the latest at www.pamcrooks.com
I just went to my mom’s grave and put a Hummingbird on it. My mother in law we planted a bleeding heart plant. I have seen a little toy truck, a teddy bear
Good morning, Charlene! You were up early this morning. 🙂
My mother loved hummingbirds! What a great idea. I’ll have to look for one for her for Memorial Day.
Sad about the little toy truck and teddy bear. I’m assuming for a child? Sure would tug on my heartstrings seeing those.
Thanks for sharing!
I never visit a graveyard. My parents are in heaven just their earthly body is buried. I talk to them wherever I am
Hi, Rhonda. I talk to my parents, too. It’s comforting, isn’t it?
Literally ALL of my family will be/and are buried in our family cemetery. It’d be hard for us never to visit there. It’s almost like a second home and comforting in a different way to see the names on the graves.
But you are so right. Earthly bodies. Heaven is a truer way to think of where they are.
Good morning Pam! A very interesting post today. I never knew the significance of the coins, but have seen other items. I left flowers on my father’s grave periodically for a year after his death until my mother said to save my money. I grin, because my father would have said that for sure! I think it gives people comfort to visit graves, but I’m not one to do it. Unless at our family reunions and we would walk in the grave yard. Haven’t done that in years now.
God bless those who have served and still serving.
Hi, Tracy! I’m grinning, too, at the comment your parents made. My sisters and I change out the artificial flowers on our family graves with every season. Some people go all out decorating for their loved ones, and that gives them comfort. Sure makes for pretty colors when we drive by!
Yes, God bless our service members.
Thank you Pam for sharing this information. Many times we have noticed coins and items on gravestones. In our town, someone places a baseball cap on a family member’s grave every spring. I think that is so cool! Blessings on your day Pam. Loved reading your post today. I’m going to put coins on a few graves now of servicemen I knew personally.
A baseball cap just says so much about the deceased, doesn’t it? One item, and you know something he/she loved.
I, too, am going to bring a pocketful of pennies with me on Memorial Day, now that I know their significance.
Thanks for stopping by, Kathy1
I leave a penny every time I d stop at my great uncles grave.
Good for you, Cathy T. I’m going to start carrying pennies for my uncles – and Dad – too!
I remember helping my Grandma cut peonies to put in metal coffee cans to place near the headstones before Memorial Day!
Yes!!! Peonies!! I remember my mom fussing over whether the peonies would open in time to put on the graves. We would bring a couple of buckets of them.
What a fun memory, Teresa!
I never knew about the coins. I love this. My father’s widow brings him a beer or some other drink whenever she goes. The most poignant memento was a teddy bear.
Hi, Debby236. I agree – a teddy bear really is poignant and such a symbol of comfort for a child. I, too, have seen name-brand cans of beer on graves, and it always makes us chuckle!
Pam, I did not know this. Wow! Next time I see coins on a tombstone, I’ll know why they’re there. I love to visit cemeteries and walk through looking at the names. Often one leaps out at me and I have to use it in a story. In South Texas, it’s a custom to cover a grave in seashells. I don’t know if there’s a special meaning or just decoration. The cemetery in Menard, TX has a lot of those kind. That same cemetery also has a large number of men who served in the Texas Rangers. They placed a metal cross with the state of Texas seal on each grave. That’s very moving. Our family’s graves are scattered with some in Oklahoma and other states as well as Texas so we have no family plot. My parents are buried in East Texas and when I’m there, I always leave flowers. With age creeping up on me and limiting my travel, I rarely get to go and that makes me sad. I plan to be cremated since I can’t be buried next to my husband. But, this is an interesting blog and I loved it.
Hi, Linda! Those seashells are intriguing. If you ever find out the significance, let me know. Fascinating about the Texas Rangers. They were such an honorable and brave group of men, they deserved the metal cross as respect. I’d probably get choked up seeing them.
Fun comment, Linda!
I had heard about the coins. My hubby was in the Navy and explained it to me. I was thrilled to hear about it but have never seen any. Thank you for sharing.
Hi, Barbara. My brother is retired USAF, and he, too, knew about the coins. He said coins (not money) are often used for different veteran organizations. It’s a military thing, evidently.
Thanks for stopping by.
I’ve never seen coins left on a headstone. I wonder if that’s mainly at military ones. I always went with Mom to put flowers on my grandparents’ graves, and then my uncle’s and my Daddy’s. Now, I’m the one who takes flowers, and surprising to me, I don’t go near as much as I thought I would since Mom’s passing. I see placing the flowers and other things as a sign of respect and that they are remembered.
Hi, Trudy! Yes, the coins are a sign of respect for military. I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t be used for civilians.
It’s tough to beat flowers as a sign of respect. Their beauty and fragrance are just perfect to leave for a loved one.
this is very interesting. thanks for sharing. I have not visited a cemetery for a very long time. both of my parents and dads mom are in heaven and I will see them both eventually. my husbands dad was catholic so I dont know if I will see him in heaven or not. but he was an extremely good man who loved his family. I became a part of his family when I married his son. I loved him dearly.
It sounds like you gained a pretty special father-in-law, Lori. Not everyone can say that. He was sure to have been a gift in your life. I’m sorry you lost him.
Good morning Pam, I have never seen coins on cemetery headstones, but now I know what they mean if I ever see one , Thank you for sharing this , what a Beautiful gesture it is! My siblings and I take flowers to our dad, mom and to one of our grandmothers graves, they are all in the same cemetery , we take flowers for their bdays and for the different Holidays. We spend some time with them there. Have a great day and a great weekend.
Hi, Alicia! What beautiful gifts of time you’re giving to your deceased family members. It really is easier to reflect with them when they are close in the same cemetery. We have a ton of family in ours, and I actually call it a tour when I visit the graves, ranging from the late 1800s to 2017 when my parents passed. It’s quite a walk to see them all.
I think I’ve seen coins once or twice. I’ve seen lots of toys, little ceramic figurines, & a few stuffed animals. I left a special little butterfly decoration that said “Dad” on it on Daddie’s grave. It was later broken & then disappeared sometime after I left it. I know it is only my dad’s earthly body there, & I believe with all my heart that he is in Heaven, but I was always a Daddie’s Girl – Daddie was our special spelling 🙂 – so it is a comfort to me to go there & talk to him occasionally. I love to sit out in nature & have my devotions, but my health keeps me from walking through the woods, etc, so I sometimes go to the cemetery where my dad is buried or to the cemetery that is close to my house & sit in my car to pray & talk to God. I can concentrate better when I’m enjoying God’s beautiful world around me – the birds, the breeze in the trees – & a cemetery is a nice, quiet place to do that. I often wonder about the people who wore the names on those stones, what their lives were like, how they lived & died, & about those who are still here who loved them.
What an eloquent response, Lori!! Very touching, and I love how you make sure to enjoy God’s world through prayer.
I’ve never seen coins on headstones. This was interesting. For me visiting a cemetery brings back memories of the people whose names we see. Recently we visited the cemetery where my husband’s great grandmother and great uncles are buried. One of our daughters was with us and he told us stories about each of the people whose headstones we saw. It is a great way to learn family history.
It’s a wonderful way to learn family history, Alice, yes! I’m sure your husband loved sharing his memories with your daughter, too. There’s something about seeing names on a headstone that brings back a rush of memories for the life they lived.
Thank you for sharing this about the coins! I didn’t know that about them.
You’re quite welcome! Glad you learned a little something today.
What a great post, Pam! Thanks for the info. I saw coins on Louisa May Alcott’s grave, not sure of their significance, and also Ben Franklin’s. xo
Oh, wow, Tanya! I can’t imagine what the purpose of those coins would be for the Alcott and Franklin graves! They are pretty strictly for the military, as I understand it.
Wow so interesting and moving all the gravestones I’ve ever seen in a cemetery never had coins on it and I know there are quite a few people who were military.
If the coins were left, Crystal, it could be that the cemetery gathered them off the graves by the time you came. The cemetery would likely use the money for the grounds’ upkeep or even to help pay for a homeless veteran’s burial.
Never thought of that, thanks for the information
As retired military (my husband), we have left coins on graves of those with whom he served and those deceased military friends and family members. We are both Red Cross volunteers with the Service To The Armed Forces program and volunteer at the local VA hospital. We have both volunteered with the VA No Vet Dies Alone program where we sit with veterans at the hospital facility when the doctors determine they have only a few days left. This gives family members a break, especially overnight since both veteran and family tend to be elderly. There are also sadly too many veterans that do not have family to be with them at the end. It is a privilege to serve them this way and if they are buried at the local veterans’ cemetery, we will place a quarter on their tombstone when we are there. They all deserve to be remembered.
One of the most touching things I have seen in cemeteries was at a Native American cemetery out west. It is a poverty stricken area as so many sadly are. Yet, on the graves of children you will see toys and there are candles, pictures, statues, and other mementos on all of the graves. None of these items are touched or taken. Where we live here in the East TN in a typical middle class area, nothing is safe or sacred. Items, including flowers are taken from graves. One family who had just lost their 2 year old daughter put a little angel statue on her grave. It was gone the next morning and had not been removed by staff. It is sad that people are so uncaring and can stoop so low.
Pat, you will get a special place in heaven for all the good you’ve done in your life.
So sad about the little angel statue. I hope the family finds a more permanent way to honor their sweet child.
It is nice to see people doing such things to remember the fallen. May they rest in oeace.