I’ve always found the topic of mail-order brides fascinating. Men predominantly settled the western part of the United States. They went in search of gold, to build ranches and homesteads and soon found themselves desiring to have a wife for companionship and to enjoy the new life they’d built. They didn’t want to go back east to find a bride, so they advertised for one to join them in their new endeavor. In fact, there’s was a whole magazine devoted to this called Matrimonial News. Others ran ads in newspapers across the country.
They were often very specific about what they were looking for. Here’s a listing from https://truewestmagazine.com/article/mail-order-brides/.
“A gentleman of 25 years old, 5 feet 3 inches, doing a good business in the city, desires the acquaintance of a young, intelligent and refined lady possessed of some means, of a loving disposition from 18 to 23 and one who could make home a paradise.”
Sometimes the couple exchanged multiple letters before the bride arrived. On rare occasions, photographs (tintypes) were sent ahead of time. Often when the bride arrived, they married immediately while some took time to get to know each other a little bit better once they were face to face. There even were some who married by proxy ahead of time.
While it’s fun to write about, I don’t think I’d have the gumption to be a mail-order bride. Do you think you would?
But it wasn’t only men who were looking for a bride. On rare occasions, women advertised for a mail-order husband. Which is the premise of the beginning of my new book, Wooing Gertrude. My heroine sends off for a mail-order groom. But things don’t turn out quite the way she intended. Here’s a look at my new book.
Wooing Gertrude
Enoch Valentine has given up finding peace for his past mistakes. He throws everything he has into being the new part-time deputy in Burrton Springs, Kansas while maintaining the foreman position at a local horse ranch. But when trouble stirs on the ranch, he questions whether he’s the right man for either job.
Peace has been elusive for most of Gertrude Miller’s life, especially under the oppressiveness of an overbearing mother. She takes matters into her own hands and sends for a potential husband, while also opening her own dress shop. Gertrude hopes to build a future where she’ll find peace and happiness.
Will either of them ever be able to find peace?
What circumstances would cause you to either be a mail-order bride or send off for a mail-order husband?
Leave a comment to win an ebook copy of WOOING GERTRUDE!
Jodie Wolfe creates novels where hope and quirky meet. She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW), and Faith, Hope, & Love Christian Writers (FHLCW). She’s been a semi-finalist and finalist in various writing contests. A former columnist for Home School Enrichment magazine, her articles can be found online at: Crosswalk, Christian Devotions, and Heirloom Audio. When not writing she enjoys spending time with her husband in Pennsylvania, reading, walking, and being a Grammie. Learn more at http://www.jodiewolfe.com.
I guess I’d have to feel it was my best option for my circumstances.
I think it would take something drastic for me to agree to be a mail-order bride. Thanks, Denise for stopping by.
If you stop and think about it, online dating sites are much like the old advertisements. And they do work – my late husband and I met online and had 14 wonderful years before I lost him.
So sorry for your loss, Ginni.
I do like your analogy though with the online dating sites. 🙂
I’d find it hard to become a mail order bride. I think I would be a lot more comfortable getting to know my husband over time as we got acquainted. This book sounds very intriguing! I’m going to add it to my wish list.
I agree, Ami. I’d find it hard to become a mail-order bride, but it is fun to write about. 🙂
I imagine so. I’m not a writer, but I do appreciate you who are!
I think if I couldn’t find a way to support myself and thought the ad was for someone I thought would be kind, I would be open to being a mail order bride as long as I was able to be equal in his endeavors. I have never been afraid of hard work and would want to do my part.
Great thoughts! Thanks for stopping by today!
I think I’d be too afraid of possible bad outcomes to offer myself as a mail order bride. Getting acquainted with one’s future spouse before tying the knot definitely sounds the better way to go, to my way of thinking. Perhaps if my current situation were untenable I’d try it.
I can relate, Mary. It’s easier to write about characters having the tenacity to do something like that than to actually live it. 🙂
I met my husband on the internet, which is a little like the mail-order concept, but we did get to know each other well before marrying.
Thanks for sharing, Janice. I can’t imagine not having time to get to know each other but that often wasn’t the case.
I’ve known my husband of 27 years from the time we were little (our parents were friends & we were born exactly a month apart – me older), so it’s kinda hard for me to envision marrying someone I’d never met before. The excitement of adventure would maybe be a bit thrilling, but the fear of “How will this go?” would be torture. I’m not so sure I’d’ve been able to do it! It would’ve taken a LOT of prayer & confirmation from God for me to KNOW I was doing the right thing!!!
I like how you put that, Lori. That it would have taken a lot of prayer and confirmation from God.
Jode, so nice to see you in another venue!
I would have to be really desperate to be a mail-order bride, or strongly led of the Lord. I guess it’s no worse than the arranged marriages some cultures have. You take your chance.
Good luck with Gertrude!
Kathy Bailey
Thanks, Kathy. So great to have you here today.
Well I guess as a woman back then losing your parents and since women weren’t allowed to have property then they had to marry to keep anything they inherited!
So true. Great point, Teresa.
I would do it if I felt I didn’t have any other option but I would certainly hope I would have the chance to get to know him in person before the nuptials.
Indeed. 🙂 Thanks for sharing, Rhonda.
I don’t think I would be brave enough to be a mail order bride. But if I lived in the 1800s and had no hope of marriage, that might be different.
Circumstances can make a huge difference. Great to have you here, Elaine.
I’m sure that mail order brides was very risky and I am just not a person to take that kind of risk.
Chuckle. I can relate! I’m not a risk taker either.
If I lived in a poor home situation and needed to get out then I would do it. Hopefully I would get a good husband and one that was nice to look at.
🙂 Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Naomi.
Oh, this sounds good!! I think I could have been a mail order bride, depending on circumstances. I can picture myself in a lot of the same situations mail order brides in books find themselves in! And, I know people who met their spouses/boyfriend online and things have worked out well.
Sounds like you’re a brave person, Trudy. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
It would have to be something drastic for me to even consider it. Like being forced to marry someone who was a known abuser.
I understand the thought of it having to be something drastic before becoming a mail-order bride. Thanks for stopping by, Barbara.
I can’t see myself being a mail order bride unless because of very dire circumstances. The men were in charge of everything then, no divorce. I was once married to an abusive man , gave up 10 years later, and was divorce him. However I love reading those stories.
So sorry for your pain, Kari Jean. I appreciate you sharing.
Hi Jodie! I enjoyed your story. I can’t imagine being a mail-order bride, but perhaps if I lived hundreds of years ago, it might have enter my mind. Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, Barb. I’m so glad you enjoyed Wooing Gertrude. Thanks for stopping by today.
Times were so tough for women that you have to marry to stay in respectable society
True. Thanks for stopping by today!
I guess it would depend if I could take care of myself with a job and be able to live on my own. Most women didn’t have much other choose in the matter. They had to do it to keep living in the society the way it was at the time.
Great thoughts. So glad you stopped by Quilt Lady. 🙂
Jodie, thank you so much for visiting. I love mail order bride stories and I’m sure the mail order husband would be equally satisfying although I can’t think of any circumstance that might drive a man to seek marriage that way. Maybe if he was in hiding or running from something he might I guess. A very interesting concept. I love your book cover! That’s so pretty. Wishing you much success.
Thanks, Linda. You came up with some great ideas of why a man would be a mail-order husband. 🙂
only option
I can relate. It would take a lot for me to make that decision. 🙂
To become a mail order bride, I would have to have no family left (or none that I would want to associate with) no good job to earn my living, no future husband, and not many friends. I would feel I needed to go somewhere else and start over with a man that really wanted and needed a wife.
Great thoughts, Connie Lee. 🙂 Thanks for sharing them. I’m so glad you visited today.
I can understand why someone would go that route, it’s not much different from online dating if you think about it, but I wouldn’t want to do it.
Me either. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by, Megan.
This sounds like a good book. I might be desperate enough if my family was forcing me into a marriage to some one I didn’t like. Another situation would be if I found myself without resources for a living and had no other options I could consider.