I’ve always loved writing Mail Order Bride books. I often wonder if I would have had enough nerve to travel across the country to marry a stranger.
Many women did so out of necessity. The Civil War created not only an abundance of widows but also a shortage of men. Many women needed marriage just for survival. Single women had a hard time making it alone in the East. This was especially true of widows with young children to support.
Still, the thought of a woman traveling thousands of miles to an unknown future is hard to comprehend.
Would I have done it?
I like to think I was adventurous enough or at least brave enough to have done it. However, recently, I found myself in a situation that makes me now know I’m basically a coward at heart. Yep, I would have lived and died an old maid had I lived in the 1800s.
How do I know this? It all came about when a friend of mine insisted I sign up for one of those online dating sites. She said it was nothing more than a modern-day Mail Order Bride registry like they had in the Old West. After initially resisting, I finally gave in. I figured if nothing else I would get a story out of it.
Lo and behold, I was contacted by a man who was also a widow and lived locally. He suggested we meet for lunch at a nearby restaurant. He seemed nice enough, so I said okay. Writers will do almost anything for a story, right?
The restaurant happens to be one and a half miles from me, but it felt like a three-thousand-mile journey. A zillion thoughts went through my mind, mainly having to do with ax murderers.
I Almost Chickened Out
There were umpteen places to turn around and I considered every last one of them. By the time I reached the restaurant, my hands were glued to the steering wheel.
I was about to race for home when I spotted a nice-looking tall man waiting by the door. I opened the window and croaked, “Are you Jim?”
He said that he was and that was the beginning of an amazing whirlwind romance. Who would have ever thought such a thing possible? He is a wonderful man and I’m so lucky to have found him. We laughed because it turns out he had been just as nervous that first day as I had been.
Jim and I are getting married on June 5th and since we plan on doing a lot of traveling, this is my last blog. I’ll miss you all but will come back to visit. You can’t keep us fillies away from the barn for long.
Thank you so much for your great support through the years. Just for the fun of it, I’m giving away an eBook copy of my book, The Outlaw’s Daughter. Ah, but you’ve got to answer the following question to qualify for the drawing.
Have you or would you ever consider trying an online dating site?
Margaret has published more than 46 books and is a N.Y. Times Bestselling author and two-time Romance Writers of America Rita Finalist. She writes historical novels set--where else?--in the Old West! She has written for a day time soap and is currently working on a new series. Not bad for someone who flunked 8th grade English. Just don't ask her to diagram a sentence.
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Best wishes.
I’m not in the need. I have friends at church who met on an online site. They’ve been married for almost a decade.
Thank you, Denise. I know several happily wed couples who met online, but never thought it would happen to me.
Would I ever consider trying an online dating site? I don’t think so.
Hi Minna, you’re not alone. A year ago, I thought the same thing.
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!!
And yes I have used an online dating site. That is where I met the love of my life. Almost twelve years later, we’re married with two kids.
It was one of the best decision I’d ever made.
Kimberly, that is so wonderful! I love hearing these success stories. Congratulations!
I actually met my husband (also Jim) online. We’ve been married for 17 years. I wish you all the best but will miss your blogs and presence. I hope you keep writing.
Hi Janice, I had no idea so many people met their spouses on line. It’s amazing. Thank you for sharing.
Never have used an online dating site and never will.
It wasn’t that long ago that I said I would never use an online dating site. Sure glad a friend convinced me to give it a try.
Never used one but my daughter did and she hated it. Joined the Peace Corps and met her husband.
Hi Debra, online dating isn’t for everyone. So glad that your daughter found a way that worked for her.
I don’t know if I could go through online dating, but like you, I have heard of a few people who met someone great and ended up getting married. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
Hi Janine, I’m amazed at how many I know who have had success with online dating. I met a few weirdos online, but was able to spot them right away.
If I were single and looking, I might. I could see the advantage of choosing someone online vs. a blind date. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Wishing you much happiness!
Thank you, Julie! I never had any luck with blind dates. The older you are, the harder it seems to meet someone.
Oh I am not sure – since been married for 41 years to my HS sweetheart! Congrats on finding your special someone!
Hi Teresa, congratulations on 41 years! When you’re young, you have the possibility of meeting people at school or work, but that changes in later years. Thank you for sharing.
I LOVE THIS STORY, Margaret!!!
Online dating is the thing these days. I was horrified when I first heard about it years ago, but my daughter met her husband that way, and they are hugely in love. Two peas in a pod. Their experience was a positive one and proves online dating works for some people.
All of us here at P&P are so HAPPY for you and we will miss you terribly. Wishing you the best as you turn this new corner for love in your life. Hugs!
Pam, thank you so much. And thank you for sharing your daughter’s happy story. I loved being part of the P&P family and will miss you all. Hugs, back! 🙂
I don’t think I would try it but who knows maybe in my younger days I might have tried it. I done a lot of things back then that I wouldn’t do today.
Oh, boy, I’d sure like to know what those things were. LOL I guess we all did things back in our younger days that we wouldn’t do today. I don’t know that I would have joined a dating site, though.
I’ve considered using an online dating site, but haven’t done it yet! I do know some that have that it’s really worked out well for!! Congratulations!!!!
Oh, Trudy, you must give it a try. Yes, there are weirdos out there, but there are also many good men.
Who knows? Maybe one of them is waiting for you.
Congratulations to you and Jim! I think it is wonderful that you have found love again.
I don’t think I would use a dating service but then until one walks in those shoes ….
Hi Melanie, I didn’t think I would use a dating service either. But after spending months alone because of Covid, I was desperate enough to give it a try.
Congratulations! With the luck you had, I would consider it. Happy Travels.
Hi Margaret, thank you! I guess it does take a little bit of luck, but also some good common sense. You have to be careful.
Never tried an online dating site. Yes I’m still single no kids. Would I ever try online dating? Probably not because of all the “crazies” out there and security reasons and many other reasons I’m very cautious. I value privacy.
Would love to read and review book(s) in print format.
Love the book covers and excerpts.
Sounds very intriguing.
Hope I Win
Hi Crystal,
Yes, there are a lot of “crazies” out there, but I was able to pick them out fairly quickly. The online sites allow you to chat back and forth. We also talked on the phone at length before meeting at a restaurant. Bottom line: Be careful and use common sense.
Congratulations on your marriage. No I would not do online dating.
Thank you, Emma!
Congralations on your marriage! no, haven’t tried online dating.
Thank you, JCP.
Congratulations!! No, I wouldn’t have considered online dating. I’ve known too many people who did and now have horror stories to tell.
Hi Christy, yes, I’ve heard horror stories, too. Sure glad I didn’t let those stories stop me from signing up. LOL
Congrats on your upcoming wedding! I don’t think I would try online dating. I would want someone who believes like I do religiously and share my political beliefs.
Hi Karen, that’s the beauty of online dating. I wanted a Conservative, Christian, family man and I put that in my bio. Most men who didn’t meet that criteria didn’t bother with me.
I loved hearing your romantic story! Here’s to a wonderful new life full of joy and adventure. You will be sorely missed at the blog and remembered with great fondness. Hugs to you.
Cathy, thank you so much. Hugs back.
For a crowd who reads or writes romance, this is perfect. Our very own Petticoats and Pistols love story. God bless you and Jim, Margaret. Congratulations!
PS Stop in and visit us any time. We’ll miss you.
Will do!
Mary, thank you so much.
Congratulations on your engagement, Margaret! May the Lord richly bless your marriage!
Hi Caryl, thank you so much. I feel like the good Lord has already blessed me.
Congratulations to you, Margaret! I’m so, so happy you found Jim, and wish you many happy years ahead as you begin this next chapter in your life. Blessings to you both!
Thank you, Shanna. I’m happy I found him, too! 🙂
Congrats on your upcoming wedding! Wishing you the very best! 🙂
Thank you, Colleen!
Congratulations. I am so happy for you both. He is getting a lovely companion to share his life with and I am sure you have chosen a wonderful man to share the future with. Enjoy your travels. It will be nice to have someone to share the adventure with. We will miss you here, but look forward to your visits and updates on your travels. Best of luck and Happy Trails.
No, I have never tried a dating site. At my age, I doubt I would try one if I did become a widow. Once you have the best, there is no reason to look for another one. I have always been pretty independent so would have no problem being on my own. My opinion might change if I found myself in that position because I know how enjoyable it is to share experiences with.
Hi Patricia, I felt the same way as you did. I’m pretty independent, too. But being alone isn’t much fun. All I wanted was someone to go to an occasional movie or dinner with. Never in a million years did I imagine myself marrying again. Life sure does have a way of surprising you, sometimes.
Margaret, I am ecstatically happy for you! Love couldn’t have come to a more deserving or nicer person. You’ve always been a wonderful friend and mentor to me, ever since we got matched up as roommates those many years ago. Wishing you all the best and many happy trails on your travels! xoxo
Oh, Cheryl, I feel the same about you. I don’t remember what conference we were at, but I sure do remember us being roommates. Thank you for your friendship and good wishes. Hugs!
Congradulations! I think that it is wonderful that you “matched up”. I am a firm believer that no matter how you can meet someone to love is something you should try if you haven’t found your “true love”, so I’d sign up if I needed someone to love. I hear friends say how they meet and there are SO many ways and who’s to say how you will find your true love.
So true, Nancy. Although, I was not looking to remarry. I just wanted an occasional companion. You just never know. Thank you for sharing.
That is great news, Margaret! Congratulations and best wishes to you and your betrothed! Please come back and visit us.
Thank you, Sharon, I will.
No . I got married long before there was such a thing. I’m still married 52 years later!
Paula, that’s wonderful. I lost my husband after 55 years of marriage. We got married really young. Never thought I’d marry again.
Congratulations! Our daughter’s sister-in-law met her husband on line and they are very happy. He lived just two blocks from her, had served on the same submarine with our son-in-law and never met until they connected on line. We have also heard some stories that didn’t end well. Meeting at a bar or an event can have the same results, good or bad, as meeting on line. You just have to be careful.
Will miss your blogs.
Alice, you’re so right. You have to be careful no matter how you meet someone.
Congratulations on your upcoming marriage, what a Beautiful love story you have there! I have been married for almost 44 years and I met my husband where I worked. I don’t know if I would have been brave like you meeting someone on an online dating, but anything could actually happen just meeting a person face to face, so maybe I would have tried it, I am actually glad I was lucky to meet my husband where I was working, he went and applied where I worked. Best Wishes to you , God Bless you both. Have a Great long weekend . Will miss you on this blog.
Alice, thank you so much for your kind thoughts. I read somewhere that work and school are the two places you’re most likely to meet someone.
Margaret, this sounds like such a wonderful, wonderful adventure! I’m so happy for you! If I was single, I think I would try the online dating services. My sister did and she met a wonderful guy. They’ve been together now for about 13 years! Much happiness to you and your intended. This is, indeed, a “storybook romance” in real life!
Cheryl, thank you for your kind thoughts. Also, thank you for sharing your sister’s happy story. It seems like so many people have found true love from these sites. I had no idea.
My best wishes to you! I don’t personally know anyone who has tried the online approach. Matchmaking friends, yes…..
Hi Cathy, thank you. It was a matchmaking friend who talked me into giving the online dating site a try. I owe her big time!
No. I cannot see myself using an online dating service. As a matter of fact, I have said that if something happens to my husband, I will not remarry. Thank you for the opportunity.
Hi Debra, yep. That’s what I said when I my husband passed away. Here it is five years later and I’m doing exactly what I said I wouldn’t do. You just never know what the future holds, do you?