One of the things I collect is cowboy sayings (come on, you already knew I was weird). Here are a few of my faves.

- Small as a bump on a pickle
- That horse is the hind legs of destruction
- I ate so many armadillos when I was young, I roll up when I hear a dog bark.

- Texas is the silver buckle of the bible belt
- There’s two theories about arguin’ with a woman. Neither works.
- Speak your mind, but ride a fast horse.
- Always drink upstream from the herd.
- Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.

- Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly
- Never ask a man the size of his spread.
- Never miss a good chance to shut up.
- Never smack a man chewing tobacco.
- He’s crazy as an acre of snakes.
- I was so poor growing up, I had a tumbleweed as a pet.
- And probably the most famous – don’t squat with your spurs on.

I even have cowGIRL ones!
- High steppers give bumpy ride.
- You can’t get ahead of anyone you’re trying to get even with.
- If you wake up and find yourself a success, you ain’t been asleep.

- Cryin’ about a bad past is a waste of good tears.
- Nobody’s credit is better than their money.
- Half your troubles come from wanting your own way. The other half come from getting it.
Laura Drake is a New York and self-published published author of Women's Fiction and Romance.
Her romance series, Sweet on a Cowboy, is set in the world of professional bull riding. Her debut, The Sweet Spot, was a double-finalist, then won the 2014 Romance Writers of America® RITA® award. She’s since published 12 more books. She is a founding member of Women's Fiction Writers Assn, as well as a member of Western Writers of America and Women Writing the West.
Laura is a city girl who never grew out of her tomboy ways, or a serious cowboy crush. She gave up the corporate CFO gig to write full time. She realized a lifelong dream of becoming a Texan and is currently working on her accent. She's a wife, grandmother, and motorcycle chick in the remaining waking hours.
This one is very fitting for today. “Never miss a good chance to shut up”.
Amen, Janine.
“Who woulda thought it, hamburgers bought it.”
My dads saying after he won 2nd at a rodeo calf roping when I was young. Instead of $$ they gave him free McDonalds Hamburger coupons.
We still,
Laugh about this.
Oh that’s funny Tonya! Inside family jokes are the BEST!
Good morning! I like old country sayings like, “It doesn’t amount to a hill of beans”, “he’s just knee high to a grass hopper”, ” she’s madder than a wet hen”, “tell the cows come home”, so many old time sayings and I repeat them in my head or say them with a very country accent! Stay safe and Happy New Year!!
My MIL (born and raised Texan) had a bunch, sejoc. The weirdest (and totally non-pc), ‘He’s gonna do it, he doesn’t care if it harelip’s the governor.’
I like the one about tasting your words.
Now if I’d only remember it BEFORE I say them!
I love these! Especially the one about where “half your troubles come from” 😉
The funniest jokes have a slice of truth, right, Teresa?
These are wonderful. I heard a lot of them while growing up on a ranch. Many I have not heard. I especially love the one about the armadillos. That is funny.
One of my faves, too!
My daughter has horses and I often quote “Buck up and deal with it” to her when farm life happens. She now says it to others!
Love that, Susan.
I like the one “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch!” and I love it when they say “I live across the pasture” Have a Great rest of the week and stay safe.
You too, Alicia – thanks for reading!
These are great! This one seems appropriate for today. A cowgirl stands up for whats’s right, even if she stands alone.
Topical for sure, Cary
These are wonderful. There were quite a few I had heard, but always like to see them again. A favorite – There’s two theories about arguin’ with a woman. Neither works. – men never will learn. Having been chased by a momma cow who did not appreciate my being near her calf, I can attest to that fear is definitely involved.
The only saying I can think of right now is “Don’t spit into the wind.”
Quit acting like you have a burr under your saddle.
denise
Can’t believe I forgot that one, Denise!
It seemed like one you would enjoy.