In exactly one year from today on May 22nd, I’ll be the mother of the groom! My son is getting married! The wedding will take place on a country club golf course and their vows will be spoken on the first tee. My son is an avid golfer, you see, and he wanted to get married on a golf course. No other place seemed fitting enough.
My husband and I recently celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary. Since both of us worked that day, he took me to Mission Burrito for a taco salad. The entire dinner cost $12.00. We were blissfully happy anyway and will take a little trip next month to celebrate properly. But either extravagant or simple, I feel very fortunate to have spent these past 35 years in a relationship with a warm-hearted, loving man.
My daughter was married just last fall, and now we’re back in wedding mode again. As we stuffed the beautiful engagement party invitations, my husband said, “Seems like we were just doing this.” It’s true – it was only 7 months ago when we were in full wedding swing. This party will be a summer luau with all the trimmings, including a Tiki Bar with my dh as the Mai Tai Master.
How different weddings are now than in the past. While today young women and girls look forward to marrying their loves, forming that loving bond together with stability and compassion, back in the first half of the 1800’s, that wasn’t necessarily the case. Often, women weren’t overly enthused with the thought of marriage. For them, it meant a hard life of cooking, mending, sewing, chores and bearing children.
I was surprised to learn that women had on average five to seven children! That’s a lot of meals to cook and clothes to clean! But more importantly, if love wasn’t the means to their marriage, wives were often subjugated to a husband’s wrath. They depended on him for monetary support and therefore, the men always had the upper hand. Woman often spoke of their upcoming marriage with impending doom or at the very least, anxiety.
Whereas, it’s observed that in the first part of the nineteenth century men looked favorably upon marriage. They’d have good meals cooked, clean clothes and sex on a regular basis. While women of that time enjoyed sex with a mate before marriage, often their desire waned after marriage. Statistics show this to be true today as well.
In the early part of the century a minister performed the ceremony in the bride’s home for most marriages, although church weddings became more popular later on and soon became the norm. Perhaps due to the preacher’s heavy schedule of sermons and church services, most weddings in early 1800’s were performed on Tuesdays, Wednesdays or Thursdays.
Women of the West tended to court and marry at a later age than those in the East and South. They also engaged in more premarital sex and often married if the woman became pregnant.
Today’s research shows from a 2008 study that the average marrying age for women is 25 and for men, 27.
Since two of our fillies are marrying off their daughters this season, both coincidentally named Kristi/Christi, I asked them about their thoughts and family traditions that continue from generation to generation. Both Pam Crooks and Tanya Hanson had something unique to share!
“With a talent she didn’t know she had until she was in her late thirties, my sister Kim decorates beautiful cookies. Starting with my first daughter, and continuing the tradition with my second and now my third, she makes cookies for every guest at the wedding reception.
As you read this, Kristi is hours away from being married. Afterward, since she and her new husband will be moving to Virginia Beach, the guests will find beach-themed cookies at their table.
Love the cookies Pam! Aren’t they adorable! Best wishes at the wedding today!
I’m a little crazy right now LOL. Christi had her first fitting on Saturday and suddenly, it’s almost here.
Some traditions, old and new: Christi is using the cake knife and server, and silver toasting goblets from Matt and Debbie’s wedding, and the little Noritake china bridal cake plate Tim and I ate from.
A five-generation tradition: Somewhere during the ceremony, the hymn “Let us Ever Walk with Jesus” happens. At our wedding, it was a solo. My parents walked up to the altar to it during WW II. At Matt’s and also Christi’s, it’s the song I will walk in to.
I think all of these traditions are amazing and endearing.
What about you? Any weddings on your horizon? Did you have family traditions that continue on from one generation to the next? And what wedding scene from either a book or movie stands out in your mind?
Curious minds want to know!
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