The tradition of the New Year’s Resolution goes all the way back to 153 B.C. when Janus, a mythical king of early Rome, was placed at the head of the 365-day solar calendar. With his two faces –one on the front of his head and one on the back, he could look back at the past and forward into the future at the same time. He became the symbol for forgiveness of past wrongs as well as a call for tomorrow’s better behavior.
As for me, I start with the same ole’ resolutions every year. Eat less, pray more. Trust God even when it’s hard, smile even when my face hurts, grit my teeth when I want to scream. Write ten thousand words a day…dust off the exerbike, and this year, a new one for 2012: Don’t let my recently broken big toe impede my christening of my Christmas gift Wii Zumba.
(When all’s said and done, though, by Chocolate Bunny Time, I’ve usually failed miserably at each and every one.)
But that didn’t stop me from being inspired. I scoped around for a few revolves from famous folks I admire:
Ben Franklin: Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
Mark Twain: New Year’s Day–now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
Abraham Lincoln: Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.
Then I thought, what might our beloved cowboy resolve? Not to squat with his spurs on? Not to spit into the wind? Always treat ladies and horses as right as he can?
In my search, I came across the Cowboy Poetry at the Bar-D Ranch site and received permission from Mr. Don Gregory to use the adorable poem below. I suppose adorable isn’t quite the adjective for a cowpoke, but it truly works. (The pic isn’t Mr. Gregory. I just liked it and thought it fit the occasion.)
Enjoy it as this New Year scrambles off to a good start, and don’t forget to leave your own resolutions in the comment page!
RESOLVIN’ RESOLUTIONS
Here I sits, in the bunkhouse,
Outside, the snow is stirrup deep.
Thinkin’ on the comin’ year,
And resolutions, I might can keep.
Well, the way my britches fit,
I might lose twenty pounds.
I tried that one year, and gained ’bout ten,
How’d THAT git turned around.
Mayhaps I’ll try an easier life,
Than pushin’ contrary hides.
Move to town, and git a job,
Like saddlin’ liv’ry snides.
I recall the year I tried that,
Got me a job, at the dry goods store.
I drug that job, and come back here,
‘Bout January twenty-four.
I gave up drinkin’, in ’82,
Said there’d be no more headaches.
That lasted till St. Paddy’s day,
Guess we all make those mistakes.
Gave up cussin’, one New Years,
Didn’t last, it’s safe to say.
Smacked my thumb, with fencin pliers,
The air turned blue, that day.
Of all the resolutions,
I’ve made in years gone by.
I can’t think of one I’ve kept
On this you can rely.
So this year I got a good one,
Yup, this grizzled old galoot.
Is gonna resolve hisself,
Not to be so resolute.
© 2001, Don Gregory
(Two of my 2011 releases are nominees for the CAPA Award at the Romance Studio, so I’m starting off 2012 feeling fine.)
Happy New Year to you and yours, and God bless you all, everyone!
One of my favorite things about the cowboy mystique is the way they express themselves. That colorful cowboy lingo is second to none when it comes to finding just the right way to describe a situation or person. Those western metaphors draw me into the old west faster than a gunman can clear leather. My mind immediately conjures images of trail-weary cowpokes jawin’ around a campfire or a bunch of ranch hands mumbling their opinions from atop a corral rail.
Ramon Adams wrangled up a fun selection in his book, Cowboy Lingo. Here are some of my favorites:
To express something as being hard to miss –
“plain as the ears on a mule” or “as conspicuous as a new saloon in a church district”
Someone or something not well liked -
“as popular as a wet dog at a parlor social”
A brave man -
“had plenty of sand in his craw” or “gravel in his gizzard”
When asked to do something on foot instead of on horseback –
The cowboy would reply that he was “too proud to cut hay and not wild enough to eat it.”
In hot, dry weather -
“you had to prime yourself to spit” or the weather “sweated him down like a tallow candle”
Trying to accomplish the impossible was like -
“tryin’ to scratch yo’ ear with yo’ elbow” or “trimmin’ the whiskers off the man in the moon”
Something useless –
“as useless as a twenty-two cartridge in an eight-gauge shotgun”
To describe a worthless person -
“his family tree was a scrub” or “he ain’t fit to shoot at when you want to unload your gun”
An ignorant person –
“don’t know as much as a hog does a side-saddle”; “his thinker’s puny”; “he don’t have nuthin’ under his hat but hair”; or “his brain cavity wouldn’t make a drinkin’ cup for a canary bird”
When something is pretty -
It’s “pretty as a painted wagon” or “pretty as a young calf’s ear”
When something is ugly –
It’s “so ugly the flies wouldn’t light on him”
A thin person –
“he’s built like a snake on stilts” or “he’s so narrow he could take a bath in a shotgun barrel”
An inhospitable person –
“sociable as an ulcerated tooth” or “as polite as a hound to a stray pup after his bone”
An unhappy person -
“his luck was runnin’ kinda muddy” or “someone had swiped the silver linin’ off his cloud”
If a cowboy failed to comprehend your meaning, he might ask you to -
“chew it finer” or “cut the deck a little deeper” or “cinch up a little, your saddle’s slipping” because “it’s too boggy a crossin’ for me”
If he needed you to repeat something –
“Would you mind ridin’ over that trail again?”
If you talked too much, he might advise you to -
“save part of your breath for breathing” or “keep a plug in your talk box” or “put your jaw in a sling, your liable to step on it”
So what about you? What are some of your favorite cowboyisms?
Love and Laughter in the Old West
I love writing about the old west. That was when men were men and women were women, but a cowboy wasn’t a cowboy unless he was wild, woolly and full of fleas. Of course the heroes we write about are more likely to be tall, dark and handsome, which may be a bit of a tall tale or whizzer. But as far as the lingo goes, there’s no reason to stretch the blanket —and yes-siree-bob, that’s part of the fun.
Today’s language seems rather dull compared to the colorful expressions and words of yesteryear. Can you think of more mouth-pleasing words than hornswoggle, caboodle or skedaddle? Or what about fiddlefooted, ranktankerous, rumbumptious or splendiferous? A latte may be the haute cuisine of coffee, but give me an Arbuckle’s any day.
A know-it-all has a saddle to fit every horse, and if someone called you a drowned horse it meant you had a bloated ego. And when was the last time you heard the weather man describe a dust storm as Oklahoma rain? Cowboys didn’t just work together they were in cahoots, and if you want to ride your horse fast, you will either have to burn the breeze or ride a blue streak.
The rebellious part of me delights that my characters can use such words as “ain’t” and “druther” without being cut down. My eighth grade English teacher would have had a fit. Of course, back in the 1800s, she’d be more likely to have a conniption (any way you call it, it serves her right for branding me with an F).
Today’s nicknames seem rather tame compared to Old Fuss and Feathers, Rattlesnake Dick, Cattle Annie. and Crazy Horse Lil
When a cowboy said “hell on wheels” he wasn’t talking about no bikers (double negatives welcome). He was talking about movable towns that followed the building of railroads.
Job hunters could take a lesson from an old buckaroo who claimed to be born in a hurricane and could handle anything that came his way. A cowboy didn’t have work experience but he sure did have wrinkles on the horn. He was also a firm believer that every bull should carry its own tail. Think you’re right for the job? I’m your huckleberry meant I’m your man. Write that on your resume.
Want to impress someone with your courage? Tell them you know how to die standing up. Someone dallying too long in the chow line? Yell at them to fire and fall back. Fallen off the straight and narrow? What you need is a fire escape (a cowboy’s name for a preacher). Feeling spooney? You haven’t lived until you’ve lallygagged on a sparking bench with your beau.
Criminals were called gangs, and a bad guy was a desperado, cattle thief, gunman or roughneck. Anyone caught messing with the sheriff was escorted to the hoosegow immediately, if not sooner.
Finally, a word of wisdom to all you greenhorns out there. Get a wiggle on and chew the cud but stay away from conversation fluid (whiskey) Tell us your favorite cowboy expression and you’ll make us as happy as a dog with two tails.
CBA and ECPA bestseller
A Lady Like Sarah (A Rocky Creek Romance)
Available for Preorder
A Suitor for Jenny (A Rocky Creek Romance)
The tradition of the New Year’s Resolution goes all the way back to 153 B.C. when Janus, a mythical king of early Rome, was placed at the head of the 365-day solar calendar. With his two faces –one on the front of his head and one on the back, he could look back at the past and forward into the future at the same time. He became the symbol for forgiveness of past wrongs as well as a call for tomorrow’s better behavior.
