A Post-Christmas Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I’ve got a bone to pick with you. On Christmas morning, I didn’t find a drop-dead gorgeous cowboy with a sinful smile lounging on my sofa or a Lexus (new or used) in my driveway. In fact, I didn’t find anything except a few bird droppings.

I don’t know if you got my name on the naughty list by mistake, but I can assure you that I’ve been a perfect angel. Really, really perfect. Ask around. Everyone I’ve murdered was only made up people, even though I modeled them precisely after live ones right down to their beady little eyes. And I only shot the ones who needed it. I can’t help it if there were a lot. I’m sure you understand that, you being the kindly old gentleman you are.

(I just wish you’d give up smoking that horrible pipe though. It’s not good for your health. And it’s not a good example to set for the children. Mrs. Claus should’ve taken you in hand long ago. I’ll bet you’re a stubborn old coot though.)

Now, I know you want to correct this oversight so I’m giving you another chance.

I’d still make room for that handsome cowboy anytime you can swing it. And you can definitely wiggle back into my good graces by delivering a diamond ring (30 karats would be nice. I don’t want to be too greedy.) and pad my bank account. A few million should cover it and I would be sooooo appreciative. Writers have to spend a lot on promotion you know.

But, if those are not an option…..can you just give me a few more hours in the day this next year? I have books out in February, May, August, October, and November and I can use all the time I can get.

Plus, I have deadlines to meet for new ones. Yikes!

Thank you, Santa, for all you do! I really mean that. You’re a saint!

Sincerely and with much love,

Linda Broday

 

Linda Broday
I live in the Texas Panhandle where we love our cowboys.There's just something about a man in a Stetson that makes my heart beat faster. I'm not much of a cook but I love to do genealogy and I'm a bit of a rock hound. I'm also a NY Times & USA Today bestselling author of historical western romance. You can contact me through my website and I'd love to connect with you on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and more. HAPPY READING!
http://petticoatsandpistols.com/sweepstakesrules/
Updated: December 23, 2016 — 1:15 pm

24 Comments

  1. Linda- this really brightened my day reading this blog. You are just too funny. You have a great day and I know even if Santa doesn’t, that you’re an Angel and really didn’t mean to murder or shoot those guys, but sometimes a Lady has to do what is needed. Enjoy your day and 2017 is going to be a grand year for you. Love you my sweet sister friend.

    1. Good Morning, Tonya…….Thanks for the vote of confidence. You’re right though, a lady has to do what she must in protecting her story people. Those bad guys are a really mean bunch. At least I haven’t strung them up by their toenails and let the buzzards peck out their eyes…yet. I can’t help it if one fell off a cliff to his death. He was just clumsy. I’m glad I could give you something to laugh about. We don’t have enough in these trying days.

      Yes, I think 2017 will be a very good year for me. Hopefully you too. Love you, sister friend!

  2. Great letter. I could use some extra money in my bank account too.

    1. Good morning, Janine…..Hey, if I get that money in my bank account, I’ll send him your way. We could all use some of that green. I hope you had a very good Christmas and that 2017 will bring you much joy and happiness.

  3. What a great post! I did not get a cowboy either. Good luck with all y our deadlines.

    1. Good Morning, Debra G………Well, shoot! I thought for sure you’d get a cowboy. It seems Santa was out of them this year. Darn it! Maybe we can get our name on the list early for next Christmas. I hope you had a very good one and that 2017 brings you many, many good things.

  4. I loved your post Linda. It made me smile.

    1. Good morning, Cindy……..I’m glad I could make you smile. We need that. There are too many sad things in the world that we can do nothing about. A little levity helps us cope.

      Wishing you a great and prosperous 2017!

  5. Great post. Made my day!

    1. Good morning, Estella…….I’m so glad I could bring a little laughter to you. We all need that. I hope you had a great Christmas and praying that 2017 will be a wonderful year for you.

  6. Happy 3 days after Christmas, Linda! I didn’t get a cowboy either! Shoot! But I did get lots of family and company. I sure enjoy having them all around at this time of year. Well– actually I love having them around all the time, because we all live so far apart that our gatherings are such a treat.

    Enjoyed your fun post!

    1. Hi Kathryn…..I’m glad you enjoyed my silly post. I couldn’t resist the humor. I really needed some though and I figured other people might too. How wonderful that you had lots of family for Christmas. That always warms your heart and puts a smile on your face for months.

      Happy New Year! I wish you all the best.

  7. My friend, Linda, what a great, fun post! I didn’t think about the cowboy in my post Christmas week but sure should have. How about sharing???? Have a Happy, happy New Year, Sister Filly. Love you and Happy New Year to all, Phyliss

    1. Hi Phyliss…..Share? Are you kidding? If I get one, he’s all mine. I’ll share a donut or a laugh but not a cowboy. I hope you’re having a fun time with your family.

      Happy New Year!

  8. Too funny Linda but how apropos as well. I hope you and all the fillies had a nice weekend however you enjoyed it and wish you a very good week and celebratory weekend and New Year ahead whatever that may bring us all. With luck 2017 Will be our year with only good things ahead for us. Not even mentioning politics that’s taboo haha.I didn’t get a cowboy or man at all but if you want to change that and drop a nice, gorgeous slightly older and mature cowboy my way I definitely won’t say no especially if he likes to treat his lady right. Please just send him my way anytime I am ready and waiting. So all the Fillies can use a little or a lot of cowboy looking and loving time ? if the Filly is married and spoken for she he r s to look all she wants even if she can’t have a cowboy to keep. Thanks for a great post Linda, a fun time and year and may you all have a great rest of 2016 today my Dad would have been 92 if he had lived past the 38 years he did have so a Happy Birthday Dad and it’s also a time to think over all this year has brought, given us and even those taken away, A year makes a difference to some yet not to others, fun how time flies but those that can appreciate all around know we are blessed with our loved one’s. So on that note Tell Everyone You Love and Hold Dear You Love Them Today! Because you just never know if this may be the last time you get to say it to them so do just an I LOVE YOU!

    1. Hi Elaine…….I’m glad you enjoyed my attempt at humor. I often fall short in that department. I think it’s because I’m too busy killing off my bad guys. Happy Birthday to your dad. I hope the new year brings you lots of good things!

  9. Well. Since others seem to be ahead of me in line for the “drop-dead gorgeous cowboy,” could you just share where the line is so I get in it? 🙂 Thanks for the great post and I wish you the very best in the coming New Year!

    1. Hi Eliza……I’m not sure where the line forms. Maybe that’s part of the problem. I’ll sure try to find out though. 🙂 Wishing you all the best in 2017!

  10. Linda – Love your blog & books. Why ask for just one cowboy. How about a couple of them …. Will be looking for your new books in 2017. Have a Happy New Year.

    1. Hi Lois……..Well, yeah! I should ask for several. It would sure be nice to have a variety. I’m glad you enjoy my blog and books. I’m delighted to bring them to you. I hope 2017 brings you only the best.

  11. Wait just a goldarn minute. You asked for a handsome cowboy too? Well, that explains it. I suspect a whole bunch of us asked Santa for that particular toy, and he ran short. (We need to find out where he dropped the ones he had on hand, so we can liberate ’em.)

    Hope your Christmas was merry! May the new year bring you all the cowboys, Lexuses (Lexi?), and bank accounts you could want.

    HUGS!!!!

    1. Hi Kathleen……I think you have a brilliant idea. I’ll do some scouting around and try to find out where they’re hiding those cowboys. You and I could ambush them and have some fun. (If I remember how.) Some days I’m not sure. But I never forget how to kill these goldarn bad guys! I think I excel in that department. I take such delight in making them pay.

      Wishing you tons of success and much happiness in the coming year, you old sidewinder!

  12. Thanks for a bright spot in a grey day. I enjoy your sense of humor. Lets just hope the Jolly Old Elf sees the humor in your letter. If not, you could be on the naughty list for quite a while. That 30 karat ring might not be such a good idea. As heavy as that “rock” would be, your arm would get mighty tired and slow down your writing. That would certainly back you into a corner for your deadlines and as much as he would like, I doubt Santa could manage a few extra hours every day for you.

    Have a Great New Year. We are all looking forward to your new books.

    1. Hi Patricia……I’m glad I could brighten your day. Yep, I suspect I’ll be on that naughty list for a long while. I just can’t seem to resist killing off my characters–especially the bad guys. Hey, now that you pointed out a problem with the diamond ring, I should probably mark that off my list. I sure can’t afford to have anything slow down my writing. Nope. Gotta keep my fingers tapping on this keyboard and bringing these stories to you.

      Happy, Happy New Year! I hope it brings you lots of good things. 🙂

Comments are closed.

Petticoats & Pistols © 2015