Howdy!
Well, something has happened to me lately that makes me think a little bit about fear — and so I thought I’d blog about it today.
Fear — we all know what it is. It’s obviously an emotion that produces physical reactions that are far from pleasant. When small, I think we can probably all admit to having several moments of this emotion, and as we grow older, I think the actual feeling of fear might be less. But, there are those elements in our society who seem to thrive on installing fear in others and so I thought we might talk about this a bit.
I think one of the advancements of science was to dispel superstitions that long troubled mankind. For instance in old Babylon, someone observed eclipses and rather than use this information to enlighten mankind, used this to enslave and to bring fear to the hearts of the ruling class at the time and to its people. It was also used to enrich their pockets…a “Pay up, bud,” or we’ll turn off the sun. When science came along and enriched people with the knowledge that these eclipses were natural phenomena and had nothing to do with the “priests” turning on and off the sun, I think mankind advanced a little.
In a like mode, I don’t think that the billion/trillion dollar industry of Big Pharma could exist without fear. Fear of what might happen if one doesn’t take this pill or get that pill or take this drug, etc. Science might be lapsing behind to show that this might also be little more than superstition — at present “science” tends to endorse this kind of fear, but hopefully in the future, we might come to learn that this, too, was little more than playing on one’s fear in order to install fear and bad control.
And how about that boyfriend who took you to a scary movie in order to coax you into his arms? Was this not also using fear to “control”? At least it didn’t line his pockets…
It does seem to me that bad control/greed/fear go together — and usually (but not always) for the detriment of the person to whom fear is being worked on. And it does seem to accomplish its ends…somewhat…
It does seem to me that using fear to get what one wants just might backfire upon the user — especially if the one being “controlled” eventually figures it out. Or at least one might hope that this method of control might backfire. But surely fear isn’t the only means one can employ to “get what one wants.”
What about beauty? What about using aesthetics to bring about the condition where one can obtain those things one’s heart desires? What about love? Can’t love change the world? What about making sure that if you get what you want, the other person gets what they want, too? I don’t honestly think it’s possible to be happy in this world unless one makes sure that the other person “wins” too.
And what about ethics, honesty, setting an example that is kind-hearted? In this world that seems to be slipping farther and farther afield from what is good and just for the human race, it seems time to me to start stressing those things that make a man … well, that make a man a man. Honesty, integrity, family and love. Aren’t these better ways to “control”? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that I think as writers that we influence people in a positive manner. Using aesthetics, I think we bring love into the hearts of many, many people. And this, I think, is good.
So tell me, what methods do you use to bring about good control — there must be good control, otherwise none of us would ever be able to drive a car, or fix a dinner or do a good day’s work. What are your thoughts? As a note, I will be giving away a free copy of the mass market book WAR CLOUD’S PASSION to some lucky blogger — just be sure to look over the Giveaway Guidelines on this page.
Below is the beautiful cover of SENECA SURRENDER, due to be released October 27th.
KAREN KAY aka GEN BAILEY is the multi-published author of American Indian Historical Romances. She has written for such prestigious publishers as AVON/HarperCollins, Berkley/Penguin/Putnam and Samhain Publishing. KAREN KAY’S great grandmother was Choctaw Indian and Kay is honored to be able to write about the American Indian Culture.
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We are dealing with the fear right now in my oldest daughter. She doesn’t want to drive because she sees all the accidents and bad drivers out there. She is almost 15, so it is time for her to take driver’s ed classes. We are trying to instill that good fear in her – the “You can do it, just be watchful” attitude. It is hard! I don’t blame her.
You know, I’m going through a similar thing right now, too with a loved one. Thanks so much for your post.
I’m going through something right now with a fear of being under if I need surgery. I’ve had surgery before for scoliosis and after coming out of the anesthesia I had an unpleasant experience. I don’t want to go through it again if I need this surgery. I have female problems. Im trying to tell myself that if I need the surgery that everything will be okay.
Fear of so many things does control us. My daughter also delayed getting her driver’s licence because one of her good friends fell asleep and had a fatal accident. Sometimes taking a step outside your comfort zone is hard due to fear.
Yes, and I think it’s a fear that could be wise in some respects — in other words, one should research out the facts — perhaps weigh the differences between the good driver and the bad. For me, because I do a lot of driving, I make a firm vow to myself that I never drive when tired. Sometimes that’s hard because in the West the exists are often very far apart. So another vow I make is to have little foods with me that will keep me awake — like raisens and nuts or something like that, perhaps chocolate — but only until I can get to the next exit and pull off the road. Because I drive so much, I’ve learned that this is something I have to do — no matter what. For me, when I get tired on the road, nothing handles it but to pull off the road and snooze — even if it’s only for 15 minutes. : )
Hi Arlene,
I can understand this. I’ve never had an operation and have never been “under,” but I can imagine the fright, especially if you had a bad experience once before. Have you tried any alternate health options? Sometimes these things can be kept under control with possible alternate health practitioners — like the chiropractic field, or the nutritionalist. In CT I believe that the nutritionalist is also an MD — it might be a possible alternative. Disclaimer: I am no MD and the above is my opinion based on my own experience.
Sometimes it’s just easier to give in to our fears then to take them head on and not let them win. I have several fears that hold me back form doing things, but I still haven’t found a way to get past them.
Hi Janine!
I so understand. Thanks for your comment.
Susan, Karen and Debra, our youngest daughter delayed getting her license until she graduated from college! At that point, she had to in order to move for a job. For her, waiting was the right move, since she attended college in England & Canada, and couldn’t have a car anyway. We let her go at her own pace, but encouraged her to learn. I know she feared it because her sister and I both had serious accidents as she was growing up. She had to have a reason bigger than her fear to get her to learn. Not easy to deal with, but in the end, it works out!
Hi Karen!
That’s quite a good story. Thank you so much for sharing this. : )
Thank you for a thoughtful and thought provoking post.
Hi Alisa!
Thank you so much for your post, and for commenting on the blog today.
I really think control has brought about most evil in this world. It’s not really money – it’s the power and control that money gives one. Religion and politics are the worst in the bunch – yes, it can be done for good but ultimately I believe it does more harm. Instead of wanting the best for everyone and rejoicing in in our differences (and sameness) so many people want everyone to do as they do and as they say.
Hi Catslady,
Yes. Control that is done to benefit not the person who is being controlled, but the controller — very bad control. So agree with you on politics — not sure about religion — I think there is still a lot more good in religion than bad — but you’re right in that it’s been used for bad control. Not a good thing.